Friday, July 27, 2007

I think I have finally done it. I am so infused with alcohol that all that need happen to ignite drunkenness is - for a raindrop to fall and be absorbed into my person. I am even afraid to so much as shower...

This past week has certainly had some fun - some surprises - and a fair amount of drinking. For now you get this:

The Wedding Reception...

While it common knowledge that something will go wrong or be forgotten during the course of a wedding ceremony. Usually the flowers come in a shade ever so slightly off of the cream that the "bride to be" painstakingly selected - which usually results in the bride collapsing in a heap of sobs somewhere and ruining her $150.00 make-up job. This wedding was a little different....

The wedding itself is planned to be a relaxed affair, seeing as they got married in the Dominican in December. This one was just for the actual paperwork and to include all of the lovely people who couldn't join us before. The bride's parents purchased a motor home and since the wedding was in a park we decided that this was the perfect spot to get ready. We packed every hair pin in North America, brought all manner of hairdryers, curling irons and straighteners and headed out. When we got there... the generator was broken so we, uh, couldn't use our various bits of hair equipment. Okay. No emergency really. We made due. In fact I think we all turned out rather well considering....

While we were readying ourselves it may shock you to hear that we had a few beverages. So we were feeling mighty relaxed when the bride's mother in law comes around the corner and says that the Justice of the Peace requires the marriage license. The bride and I exchange glances. The bride runs away. The other girl in the wedding party and I collapse into two periwinkle blue heaps of laughter. Then we high fived and cracked another beverage. Eventually the bride tracked down the groom on his cell phone and I overheard;
"Honey? Could you go to London Drugs and grab some Tylenol
and...uhhhm... a marriage license?".
At that point we all collapsed again laughing, except the mother in law who I think was slightly stressed by this entire experience... but to deal with her stress she made 7,000 little sandwiches and force fed all of us - lovingly as we continued to get ready. Just about the time the groom was on his way the reception a torrential downpour occurred. Luckily enough it cleared up - the groom obtained the marriage license and we all managed to get down the aisle without stumbling and have an absolute blast.

So congrats to my delightful friends on their "mawage". I love you guys.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

I am checking in quickly to report that I am currently somewhere in Oregon (by the haystack) and am very much into the rum and have managed to steal some internet access. I am sitting on the beach with Carrie and my adopted family-- and having the TIME OF MY LIFE!

I will post pictures once I get home. Lots of beautiful stuff around here.

This is place is heaven... wonder how long I can hold out moving to the west coast?

Hope you are all having fun where ever you are! I'll check in soon with stories of too much tequila (again) and the smallest - almost - shrimp cocktail on earth...

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

I woke up early this morning to the delightful sound of a cat making this guttural growl outside my window. When I say early - I mean 5:30 a.m., thus my ability to find time to allocate to the much neglected blog.

I miss you blog friends *sniff*. So I will torture you with some general ramblings;

I have been busy in the garden picking marvelous veggies (that I will not eat in this lifetime - but growing them is an entirely different thing) and raspberries (I WILL eat those at least). I am very excited to report that soon there will be five different kinds of ripe tomatoes for me to harvest. I haven't the slightest idea why this garden brings me such satisfaction. Free food. That might be part of it. Instead of going to the produce section I just skip out the back door. That definitely holds some of the appeal.

The other day my grandmother sent us some of her raspberries to eat. A little lesson in comparison; or a bit of senility kicking in. Though they were tiny - they were indeed tastey. So there my Mum and I sat having coffee and eating berries when I got rather a chuckle when my Mother, who was munching away on the same, stopped mid munch and began spitting and spazing only to have discovered a beetle in amongst the formerly unoffensive berries. Not just any beetle either I dare say. This particular beetle resembled what I can only describe as a mini-monstrous scarab beetle (though obviously not) that I have myself noted eating the raspberries and avoided like the plague. I think it is domestically referred to as a Japanese beetle, though the actual name or political correctness is a bit of a question at present. I must say as beetles go - it is rather pretty - in a horrid creepy crawly nightmarish way. But I digress...

After she danced about she forced the beetle from her mouth and into the sink much like a spittoon champion. For some reason things like this struck me as funny - and that deep down belly laughter began. Evidently I needed this particular fit of funny since it turned into one of those unstoppable episodes with tears rolling down my cheeks and arms clutching my sides. Eventually my Mother was persuaded to join in the laughing which only made me laugh harder. Though I cannot relate the events or perhaps I am unable to articulate them well enough to demonstrate why this was so amusing, I do hope it has at least made someone smirk. If not, I'll send you a beetle to feed to your Mother so that you too can fall down laughing. (But -bletch, what if they didn't notice it and kept chewing... actually - that might be funnier...unless it was poisonous...perhaps not such a good idea after all).

Anyways, happy Wednesday people. Which reminds me - I leave for BC in one week. Matter of fact, one week today I will be enroute to the airport to begin my adventure. I am filled up with anticipation of the trip and will revel in it for the time being. My only saddness; I miss one event my blogfriends are hosting and this makes me slightly pouty. But I'm sure they will survive without me and I will endeavour to have some kind of bbq (complete with fresh garden produce and raspberry beetle pie) upon my return.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

This is a little on the side of normal but;

Someone referred to Brussel sprouts as faerie cabbages the other day and for some reason it makes me want to eat the horrid little things.

(BD - I thought of this when I was responding to the missing postman)