Vitamin C - Friends Forever

Cheezy. But this song still makes me think of these guys...

Today was Kat's wedding shower! It was much fun. It's always nice to have all of our friends together which doesn't happen a lot these days... busy busy times. Here are some pics of the day. My friends are so beautiful (inside AND out)!

WTF?

This brought tears to my eyes... from laughter - not the same reason most of you guys might cry.

PostSecret

Canada needs to get in on this... (I personally own stock in Pepto)

United Nations Pledges $1.2 Billion In Indigestion Relief For U.S.

Yesterday on my lunch I popped into the makeup counter at the local department store. I needed to get a couple of bits and bobs. While there I posed a question to the very knowledgeable esthetician; I told her that I needed a new eyebrow pencil because the one I have isn’t an exact match at which point, she directed me to the most wonderful thing I’ve seen in years...

I am now the proud new owner of eyebrow powder. It is the same kind of thing they used way back in the ultra glam 40's. It works magic. So when I got home I decided to try it out but being me - couldn’t just leave it at that. Nope. So I started drawing on all manner of silly eyebrows. One particularly amusing one resembled Oscar the Grouch. It was great fun. I spent about an hour playing eyebrow dress-up before the amusement waned.

So if anyone needs anything to do this weekend - I highly recommend it.

EXACTLY!

www.postsecret.com

I have renewed faith in the human race.

Natural blues - Moby

This a wicked video.

Ah yes and I've been tagged...

Yoga tagged me....

1. Wednesday, Nov. 5, 2008. Our side won! How do you celebrate?
I don't really have a side here but, if I did I would celebrate by drinking... and maybe clicking my heels once or twice. Also, I might make an ice sculpture because I have never done that.

2. Are you on a boat or are you a land lubber or do you soar?
Well, sometimes on a boat (sailing kind), sometimes in the air (I have the gift of flight... mentally I mean). I am currently on land but my feet are barely aware that they are touching the floor.

3. What was the last mistake you wished you could cover up?
Well, that would have been in the month of November, many many many years ago. Other than that - I think you mustn't regret the past. It kills the joy. Live your life with integrity and kindness (and drink lots) and it will all work out.

4. Are your omelettes fluffy?
It is one of the gifts bestowed upon my by the great and magical Yoda that my omlettes are always fluffy and delicious.

5. When was the last time your paradigm shifted?
On the 18th of July ;-)

Tag to Angus, Vanessa, Kat, Badger, Earl and Slyde.

Wow. I should check myself into rehab. I wouldn't have thought that a person could survive that amount of fun and partying. Since I got back I have been very good at avoiding anything "obviously" bad for me and have been eating protein bars and fruit non-stop along with working out. It is my fondest wish that my body will forgive me for the former weeks mistreatment. (Or at least carry me through until next month when it will start all over again. LOL.)



So, some highlights...

You all have an idea of my sense of funny because for some unknown reason you've all been hanging out here long enough to have figured it out. This week I played some wonderful pranks on some wonderful old friends - and some wonderful new.

As a side note - isn't it great when you meet new people and you feel like you've known them for your entire life? That instant connection and you know that they will just have to stick around or it would feel like something was missing. Found that. Few times in my life - my closest friends are included in that sentiment. It's rare and I feel very lucky. Now I'll shut up and get to the funny...



So, one of my new friends is this great boy who has a wicked sense of humour that warms the cockles of my heart. So, when my new friend had to make a quick trip out of town... I took the opportunity to redecorate his place. Carrie and I along with my other new friend Michel made a quick trip to Wall Mart and came home with, among other things a VERY large bra and panties and some pretty new bits and bobs to add a "je ne said quais" (sp?) to his formerly man-ly bathroom. This was the end result.

Then we snuck home (he lives on the same street as Carrie) and awaited his arrival desperately trying not to pee our pants. Eventually he pulls in and the phone rings minutes later...not only did he appreciate the decorative flair, he left it intact to greet the arrival of some of his guy friends later in the week.



Then my new friend was kind enough to take me to the airport where we decided to play a wee trick on Carrie. We told her that we took off to Vegas together. To take it a step further we managed to convince her (with the aid of my dear Mother and a faux wedding picture)that we had eloped. Shocked as she was my dear friend fell for it hook line and sinker. Love that girl.

I have been told that she will be getting me back - but it's worth it. It was a blast.

I think I have finally done it. I am so infused with alcohol that all that need happen to ignite drunkenness is - for a raindrop to fall and be absorbed into my person. I am even afraid to so much as shower...

This past week has certainly had some fun - some surprises - and a fair amount of drinking. For now you get this:

The Wedding Reception...

While it common knowledge that something will go wrong or be forgotten during the course of a wedding ceremony. Usually the flowers come in a shade ever so slightly off of the cream that the "bride to be" painstakingly selected - which usually results in the bride collapsing in a heap of sobs somewhere and ruining her $150.00 make-up job. This wedding was a little different....

The wedding itself is planned to be a relaxed affair, seeing as they got married in the Dominican in December. This one was just for the actual paperwork and to include all of the lovely people who couldn't join us before. The bride's parents purchased a motor home and since the wedding was in a park we decided that this was the perfect spot to get ready. We packed every hair pin in North America, brought all manner of hairdryers, curling irons and straighteners and headed out. When we got there... the generator was broken so we, uh, couldn't use our various bits of hair equipment. Okay. No emergency really. We made due. In fact I think we all turned out rather well considering....

While we were readying ourselves it may shock you to hear that we had a few beverages. So we were feeling mighty relaxed when the bride's mother in law comes around the corner and says that the Justice of the Peace requires the marriage license. The bride and I exchange glances. The bride runs away. The other girl in the wedding party and I collapse into two periwinkle blue heaps of laughter. Then we high fived and cracked another beverage. Eventually the bride tracked down the groom on his cell phone and I overheard;

"Honey? Could you go to London Drugs and grab some Tylenol

and...uhhhm... a marriage license?".

At that point we all collapsed again laughing, except the mother in law who I think was slightly stressed by this entire experience... but to deal with her stress she made 7,000 little sandwiches and force fed all of us - lovingly as we continued to get ready. Just about the time the groom was on his way the reception a torrential downpour occurred. Luckily enough it cleared up - the groom obtained the marriage license and we all managed to get down the aisle without stumbling and have an absolute blast.

So congrats to my delightful friends on their "mawage". I love you guys.

I am checking in quickly to report that I am currently somewhere in Oregon (by the haystack) and am very much into the rum and have managed to steal some internet access. I am sitting on the beach with Carrie and my adopted family-- and having the TIME OF MY LIFE!

I will post pictures once I get home. Lots of beautiful stuff around here.

This is place is heaven... wonder how long I can hold out moving to the west coast?

Hope you are all having fun where ever you are! I'll check in soon with stories of too much tequila (again) and the smallest - almost - shrimp cocktail on earth...

I woke up early this morning to the delightful sound of a cat making this guttural growl outside my window. When I say early - I mean 5:30 a.m., thus my ability to find time to allocate to the much neglected blog.



I miss you blog friends *sniff*. So I will torture you with some general ramblings;



I have been busy in the garden picking marvelous veggies (that I will not eat in this lifetime - but growing them is an entirely different thing) and raspberries (I WILL eat those at least). I am very excited to report that soon there will be five different kinds of ripe tomatoes for me to harvest. I haven't the slightest idea why this garden brings me such satisfaction. Free food. That might be part of it. Instead of going to the produce section I just skip out the back door. That definitely holds some of the appeal.



The other day my grandmother sent us some of her raspberries to eat. A little lesson in comparison; or a bit of senility kicking in. Though they were tiny - they were indeed tastey. So there my Mum and I sat having coffee and eating berries when I got rather a chuckle when my Mother, who was munching away on the same, stopped mid munch and began spitting and spazing only to have discovered a beetle in amongst the formerly unoffensive berries. Not just any beetle either I dare say. This particular beetle resembled what I can only describe as a mini-monstrous scarab beetle (though obviously not) that I have myself noted eating the raspberries and avoided like the plague. I think it is domestically referred to as a Japanese beetle, though the actual name or political correctness is a bit of a question at present. I must say as beetles go - it is rather pretty - in a horrid creepy crawly nightmarish way. But I digress...



After she danced about she forced the beetle from her mouth and into the sink much like a spittoon champion. For some reason things like this struck me as funny - and that deep down belly laughter began. Evidently I needed this particular fit of funny since it turned into one of those unstoppable episodes with tears rolling down my cheeks and arms clutching my sides. Eventually my Mother was persuaded to join in the laughing which only made me laugh harder. Though I cannot relate the events or perhaps I am unable to articulate them well enough to demonstrate why this was so amusing, I do hope it has at least made someone smirk. If not, I'll send you a beetle to feed to your Mother so that you too can fall down laughing. (But -bletch, what if they didn't notice it and kept chewing... actually - that might be funnier...unless it was poisonous...perhaps not such a good idea after all).



Anyways, happy Wednesday people. Which reminds me - I leave for BC in one week. Matter of fact, one week today I will be enroute to the airport to begin my adventure. I am filled up with anticipation of the trip and will revel in it for the time being. My only saddness; I miss one event my blogfriends are hosting and this makes me slightly pouty. But I'm sure they will survive without me and I will endeavour to have some kind of bbq (complete with fresh garden produce and raspberry beetle pie) upon my return.

This is a little on the side of normal but;

Someone referred to Brussel sprouts as faerie cabbages the other day and for some reason it makes me want to eat the horrid little things.

(BD - I thought of this when I was responding to the missing postman)

I am going to burn in hell. I read this in the paper a few weeks ago and choked from laughing so hard. It really isn't funny. (Okay. It really is.)

Blah blah blah

Right. Where to begin. There's been so many gosh darn things screaming for me to blog about them that I'm not sure where to start...

I was stopped at a light the other day and a man on a bicycle was attempting to do up his helmet strap on the side of the road. I glanced over and spotted him - and had to look again as something about it wasn't all together normal. When I looked back I had to seriously think about what was wrong with the picture in front of me. Then it dawned on me that the man was wearing a helmet about the size that a six year old would normally wear. Rather comical. Funnier still was that he was quite desperately trying to do up the chin strap...

stop and imagine this for a moment...

The strap wouldn't reach his chin - though not for lack of trying on his part. I watched and found myself kind of guffawing. He proceeded to do the strap up in his mouth - and clamp his teeth down upon it for extra safety. Then he - squished cheeks and all - rode off into the distance.

I think mayhaps it is too late for the helmet to be of any help to this poor chap.

When I was a child I remember playing in the backyard for hours in the summer. I remember thinking that my yard was as big as a Provincial Park when in fact, having returned to my childhood home the yard is rather small. We had all manner of fruit trees growing; apple, cherry, pear. plum and mulberry trees. The mulberry trees used to drop fruit all about the lawn and being children we often ran barefoot. Our feet were forever stained all shades of blue and purple. The sharp sweet taste of the mulberries takes me instantly back to being six years old running through the sprinkler with little blue feet.

Yesterday, I was in my backyard and on the ground I spotted a little purple berry. I reached down and picked it up - low and behold...a mulberry. I tentatively glanced around (wouldn’t want anyone to see me eat something off of the ground) and popped it into my mouth. I savoured the taste of childhood with my eyes closed and a warm breeze encircled me like an embrace. A little smile crept across my face and I glanced up... my own mulberry tree. Maybe being a grown up isn’t so bad all of time.

An email that speaks to me...

I am hereby officially tendering my resignation as an adult.
I have decided I would like to accept the responsibilities of an 8 year-old again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think that it's a four star restaurant.
I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.
I want to think M&Ms are better than money because you can eat them.
I want to lie under a big oak tree and run a lemonade stand with my friends on a hot summer's day.
I want to return to a time when life was simple; When all you knew were colors, multiplication tables, and nursery rhymes, but that didn't bother you, because you didn't know what you didn't know and you didn't care. All you knew was to be happy because you were blissfully unaware of all the things that should make you worried or upset.
I want to think the world is fair. That everyone is honest and good.
I want to believe that anything is possible.
I want to be oblivious to the complexities of life and be overly excited by the little things again.
I want to live simple again. I don't want my day to consist of computer crashes, mountains of paperwork, depressing news, how to survive more days in the month than there is money in the bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness, and loss of loved ones.
I want to believe in the power of smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth, justice, peace, dreams, the imagination, mankind, and making angels in the snow.
So . . . here's my checkbook and my car-keys, my credit card bills and my Income Tax Return.
I am officially resigning from adulthood.

Finally - A New Post

I have been remiss in my blogging duties as of late and for that I am truly sorry.... well kind of... anyways....

Frodo the Frog has escaped. It has been a month. I do not hold out any hope of finding the little fellow at this point. There is a good chance that there is a little beef jerky styled fire bellied toad
somewhere in my upstairs bathroom. I will miss Frodo.

Oh Frodo.

You were a toad
You liked to eat crickets,
liked your little abode

So I thought.

Till you escaped one night
and never came home
You’re not really that bright.

This I know.

So juicy and yummy
I had so many crickets
To fill your fired tummy.

But you left.

Now I have an empty home
sitting on a shelf
with no toad to call its own.

Goodbye Frodo.

Over and above that - a funny little story about a skunk. The other day our neighbour pops his head over the fence and in his Russian accent asks;
"Uhhh. You know anything ‘bout da skunk?"
"Um. I know they tend to be stinky from one end more than most. Why?" (turn to look)

HOLY MOTHER OF GOD. WTF?

Standing there is Frank - resplendent is his garden boots and hat displaying a cage and inside said cage a wee skunk. The skunk did not appear to be amused. Frank, on the other hand, appeared not only to be quite proud of himself for catching him but also rather smitten with the little fellow. He was sure that the skunk was also rather fond of him since it was accepting the odd table scrap from him (but failed to notice that the second it snatched the food it aimed it’s "stinky end" in Frank’s general direction)
"Frank, this might appear to be just a baby, but it can still spray."
"You think?"
(then in the background from his wife... "OF COURSE IT CAN SPRAY. IDIOT. IT’S A GUNK. GUNK’S SPRAY - SWAT THEY DO....idiot.")
Frank turns and grins, "She crazy. Thyroid."
Umhummm. Not YOU that’s crazy Frank. That’s obvious.
***
This was several days ago. The area around our house smells like a "GUNK" exploded but Frank insists it wasn’t HIS skunk - it was someone elses’. Riiiiight. I also overheard him explaining to Mary that he intended to keep the GUNK as a pet. This should be interesting.