Padmé Amidala and Batman
Getting her to sit still long enough to get this make up on was really fun, lol.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Happy Halloween
I remember once my Mom and Dad went to a neighbourhood Halloween party and my Father dressed up as a chicken. A big giant drunk chicken. My Mother dressed as a horrified wife. He started out dressed in normal clothing. Then - part way through the night - he disappeared only to re-appear in... a chicken costume. Yellow leggings and all.
Now you have to understand my Father is the model of propriety. He was always very serious and proper. Growing up, we lived in a kind of awe of him. We also made fun of him a lot. He didn't always see the humour - but we did... often at his expense.
You also have to imagine all of our neighbours reaction to seeing their formerly distinguished fellow party goer dressed as such. I wish there were pictures. I would give my right arm for pictures. Truly.
Tonight I will be dressing the kiddies up and then eating all their candy. Promises to be a good night... and I promise there will be pictures.
Now you have to understand my Father is the model of propriety. He was always very serious and proper. Growing up, we lived in a kind of awe of him. We also made fun of him a lot. He didn't always see the humour - but we did... often at his expense.
You also have to imagine all of our neighbours reaction to seeing their formerly distinguished fellow party goer dressed as such. I wish there were pictures. I would give my right arm for pictures. Truly.
Tonight I will be dressing the kiddies up and then eating all their candy. Promises to be a good night... and I promise there will be pictures.
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
Today was not a good day. Really.
So there I was. In the bathroom at work. The stall door was stuck and I was trapped inside. Awesome. Really stuck - door - won't - budge. I started to laugh when it dawned on me that it was either over or under- and under seemed a much more realistic prospect in light of the high heels I was sporting. I debated for a few minutes and eventually crawled out. I was fully expecting an army of people to walk in just then but nada. One little silver lining. It wasn't lost on me that someone was going to have to crawl back under to get the door fixed - which made me laugh even harder. I imagine I am covered in strangers germs totally. I will be lighting this outfit on fire.
Then - having completed an entirely too hectic day, I found it was going home time. When I reached the car and turned the key the gas light came on. I have a one hour drive home so I reached into my purchase to search out my wallet en route to the gas station. Search search search. Nada. I pull over and increase the depth of the search. Again. Nada. I return to the office and search around. Nope. Okay. I go downstairs to the restaurant to see if I left it there. Uh. No.
I drove to the gas station, cleaned out the $3.37 in my ashtray (lucky for me I had just emptied it out; hooray for timing!) and "filled up". When I handed it into the man at the gas station he just stood there clutching the hand full of change staring at me with the odd nickel rolling out and pinging onto the counter. I of course, laughed like a maniac. I think I had achieved the full on crazy laughter at that point.
I drove home fully expecting to run out of gas but didn't. Thank god. The entire time I was keeping Spartan apprised of my fabulous goings on via text message. At this point we are in entirely two different places laughing our asses off at my specialness. He must really love me. Then he called me and we laughed even harder. Thank god for my Spartan. I wonder if he realizes that this stuff happens on a continual basis and that the more time he spends with me the more likely the chances that he will get to witness this first hand - or even become a victim of it at some point. Well, in a way, he kind of already is a victim. LOL.
Tomorrow is Halloween. I'll fit in for a day.
Then - having completed an entirely too hectic day, I found it was going home time. When I reached the car and turned the key the gas light came on. I have a one hour drive home so I reached into my purchase to search out my wallet en route to the gas station. Search search search. Nada. I pull over and increase the depth of the search. Again. Nada. I return to the office and search around. Nope. Okay. I go downstairs to the restaurant to see if I left it there. Uh. No.
I drove to the gas station, cleaned out the $3.37 in my ashtray (lucky for me I had just emptied it out; hooray for timing!) and "filled up". When I handed it into the man at the gas station he just stood there clutching the hand full of change staring at me with the odd nickel rolling out and pinging onto the counter. I of course, laughed like a maniac. I think I had achieved the full on crazy laughter at that point.
I drove home fully expecting to run out of gas but didn't. Thank god. The entire time I was keeping Spartan apprised of my fabulous goings on via text message. At this point we are in entirely two different places laughing our asses off at my specialness. He must really love me. Then he called me and we laughed even harder. Thank god for my Spartan. I wonder if he realizes that this stuff happens on a continual basis and that the more time he spends with me the more likely the chances that he will get to witness this first hand - or even become a victim of it at some point. Well, in a way, he kind of already is a victim. LOL.
Tomorrow is Halloween. I'll fit in for a day.
Saturday, October 27, 2007
The grocery store. Why do they play so much goddamn Celine Dion and Journey? I mean - don't get me wrong - I do enjoy the odd song. But it's a pandemic. Bothersome.
Then - as I was being annoyed by someone behind me who had a screaming child (which is entirely unfair since once upon a time - not that long ago - that was me... but I was annoyed none the less) and I turned to give her a malevolent stare - it suddenly occurred to me that this was really - terribly unkind of me.
WHY would I shoot her the stink eye? It's not HER fault now is it? So I very appropriately redirected my crushing gaze to the offensive noise making toddler. (PMS anyone?). But when my eyes settled upon the little tot... my heart kind of constricted. Despite the fact that her little face was all screwed up and red with snot everywhere - she was adorable. So then I smiled at her, and she stopped crying, rubbed her eyes and turned to wipe her snotty little face allover her mother's sweet potato stained t-shirt. Then the defeated looking bedraggled mother sort of half shrug-smiled at me and I - instantly wished I could be struck down by that big Monty Python hand. Sigh. Then, the kid turned and smiled back at me. Yep. I suck.
This is where I come to confess my sins. I feel better now.
I won't, however, confess speeding up to steal the parking space from the old man. (WHAT? I couldn't SEE the walker until he got OUT OF THE CAR!) Not today. Nope. I'll save that one up for another day of self loathing.
(P.S. I WAS hungry at the time - but not to worry, I have replenished my supply of emergency protein bars once again so the world should be safe... for another couple of weeks...)
Then - as I was being annoyed by someone behind me who had a screaming child (which is entirely unfair since once upon a time - not that long ago - that was me... but I was annoyed none the less) and I turned to give her a malevolent stare - it suddenly occurred to me that this was really - terribly unkind of me.
WHY would I shoot her the stink eye? It's not HER fault now is it? So I very appropriately redirected my crushing gaze to the offensive noise making toddler. (PMS anyone?). But when my eyes settled upon the little tot... my heart kind of constricted. Despite the fact that her little face was all screwed up and red with snot everywhere - she was adorable. So then I smiled at her, and she stopped crying, rubbed her eyes and turned to wipe her snotty little face allover her mother's sweet potato stained t-shirt. Then the defeated looking bedraggled mother sort of half shrug-smiled at me and I - instantly wished I could be struck down by that big Monty Python hand. Sigh. Then, the kid turned and smiled back at me. Yep. I suck.
This is where I come to confess my sins. I feel better now.
I won't, however, confess speeding up to steal the parking space from the old man. (WHAT? I couldn't SEE the walker until he got OUT OF THE CAR!) Not today. Nope. I'll save that one up for another day of self loathing.
(P.S. I WAS hungry at the time - but not to worry, I have replenished my supply of emergency protein bars once again so the world should be safe... for another couple of weeks...)
This is funny - you've got to try it!
Last night was my Grandparent's 60th wedding anniversary. Imagine that. 60 years. They wanted the entire family to go to the Mandarin Chinese Buffet. So we all got gussied up - I waxed my Nannies eyebrows and off we went. My grandfather told her she was a hot chick. Lol.
I'm always tempted at these types of places to stuff my pockets with food for later. It only seems fair... I mean there's no way I can eat the equivilant of food that everyone else does... or to ask for a doggy bag. You know - fill my plate up full and ask if I can wrap it up. That just isn't done - but it sure as heck doesn't stop me from wanting to. I at least managed to eat a plate of food and then I even ate dessert!
So anyways, my ex called and said he had to work so I brought the kiddles with me to the buffet. Because my uncle plays Santa Claus quite believably, they were convinced that Santa was actually having dinner with us. So they were angelic and the most well behaved children known on the planet.
When we got home I asked my daughter if she had a nice time, this was the conversation;
"Babs, did you have a good time?"
"Wasn't my bestest day."
"Oh, really?! How come - you were such a good girl!"
"Santa was there. I had to behave."
LMAO. I love kids. Wonder how much I'd have to pay my uncle to show up everywhere we go?
I'm always tempted at these types of places to stuff my pockets with food for later. It only seems fair... I mean there's no way I can eat the equivilant of food that everyone else does... or to ask for a doggy bag. You know - fill my plate up full and ask if I can wrap it up. That just isn't done - but it sure as heck doesn't stop me from wanting to. I at least managed to eat a plate of food and then I even ate dessert!
So anyways, my ex called and said he had to work so I brought the kiddles with me to the buffet. Because my uncle plays Santa Claus quite believably, they were convinced that Santa was actually having dinner with us. So they were angelic and the most well behaved children known on the planet.
When we got home I asked my daughter if she had a nice time, this was the conversation;
"Babs, did you have a good time?"
"Wasn't my bestest day."
"Oh, really?! How come - you were such a good girl!"
"Santa was there. I had to behave."
LMAO. I love kids. Wonder how much I'd have to pay my uncle to show up everywhere we go?
Friday, October 26, 2007
You know those conversations you never thought you would have with you Mother? Yep. Had one. I won't get into gorry details here but the conversation didn't include the weather. LOL.
She is dating my father again - officially. They have been divorced for ten years but have spent nearly every weekend and holiday hanging out together as friends since. My father admitted it was all his fault so, 10 years later she has decided maybe to allow him the pleasure of her company in a dating role and they are now boyfriend and girlfriend. So, my Mother and I have switched roles and somehoworanother I have become her dating guru. My Mother is a darling woman, who is also a wee bit naive.
Not only do I find this new role endearing, amusing and heartwarming but also... at times... a little - no, a lot - awkward. I try to put on my best "Sex columnist" face and discuss things with her in a very adult and respectful manner. But occasionally I get a visual that induces instantaneous vomiting and the urge to find a phyciatrist. Also to stick my fingers in my ears and scream "lalalalalalalalalalalalaa, I can't hear you." Too bad there wasn't a mental imagery equivalent to doing this...
Perhaps when it comes to your parents and particular things, you are perpetually a 10 year old who would just - rather NOT know certain things. I prefer to think of my Mother as the virgin Mary. It works for me. :-)
She is dating my father again - officially. They have been divorced for ten years but have spent nearly every weekend and holiday hanging out together as friends since. My father admitted it was all his fault so, 10 years later she has decided maybe to allow him the pleasure of her company in a dating role and they are now boyfriend and girlfriend. So, my Mother and I have switched roles and somehoworanother I have become her dating guru. My Mother is a darling woman, who is also a wee bit naive.
Not only do I find this new role endearing, amusing and heartwarming but also... at times... a little - no, a lot - awkward. I try to put on my best "Sex columnist" face and discuss things with her in a very adult and respectful manner. But occasionally I get a visual that induces instantaneous vomiting and the urge to find a phyciatrist. Also to stick my fingers in my ears and scream "lalalalalalalalalalalalaa, I can't hear you." Too bad there wasn't a mental imagery equivalent to doing this...
Perhaps when it comes to your parents and particular things, you are perpetually a 10 year old who would just - rather NOT know certain things. I prefer to think of my Mother as the virgin Mary. It works for me. :-)
Thursday, October 25, 2007
I've been a bit under the weather for the last week and also very busy consequently not making it to the gym... boooo. So I went last night and I've got to say - I felt very useless. I actually struggled to complete my sets - a week ago this would not have been an issue. It certainly goes to show that a week makes a difference. The only good thing was that the scale was actually a very good friend to me and I believe that it lied shamelessly but I'll take it anyways...
At the end of my routine I usually run 8 laps to try to convince the lactic acid not to attack me the next morning. I usually walk a half lap somewhere in the middle. This time I had to walk my half lap a lap early and on lap 6 I had a coughing fit that made me nearly vomit. There was an old man with a cane that lapped me. He actually kicked my ass.
Sigh. I think I need to make a bit more of an effort. Lol.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
I was just remembering something really funny... I may have blogged about this in past years - I can't be bothered to check. It's my blog though and I feel like talking about this so you guys have no choice but to be subjected to it....
Years and years ago when I lived in B.C. with my fabulous room-mate Carrie. There were a number of us who lived in this apartment complex that all hung out together. Many of us didn't have family immediately nearby so we all hung out together for various celebrations that would normally include family. We kind of made our own family. The holiday season was fast approaching and Carrie and I decided we would host a Thanksgiving dinner. Being 19 we had obviously never taken on such a task... but this did not dissuade us.
We had previously purchased a kind of large deep freeze for our very tiny apartment - can't really say why - seemed like a good idea at the time... we spray painted it white and the spray paint dust ended up landing on every surface - then the lid actually sealed shut with the paint.... but eventually we managed to crack it open and insert the largest turkey known to man. This thing had to be 50 pounds.
We came up with a menu that included all manner of side dishes normally served at such a dinner and furthermore decided that everyone should have an individually made lemon merange tart for dessert.
I actually worked shifts back then so the night preceding the dinner I was awake all night - but came home and was ready for battle.
We realized at about this time that the turkey was still really good and frozen despite being out for the night. Oops. So I ran it a warm bath and threw it in the tub... once it had kind of thawed we carried it into the living room and slapped it down on the living room floor and stared at it. (on newspaper)
"Wow. That thing is freakin huge."
"Yep."
"Do you know what we do now?"
"Nope."
Various phone calls to various relatives and we were told to butter and season the turkey and slap it in a pan in the oven... seems simple enough. The buttering of the rather large turkey revealed that it was indeed a slippery task. We buttered it while chasing it all over the house until eventually we had to stop and catch our breath then - we threw on some salt and pepper and stuffed it rather viciously with stuffing - but we weren't sure really which end to do that do nor were we aware of something called giblets.... ooops.
Once this task was complete we realized we didn't really have a pan of sufficient size to house our gigantic pterodactyl sized turkey - after some scrambling we came up with something and managed to squeeze it into the oven.
Task one was complete... we spent the rest of the day cooking everything else. We were bound and determined that everyone who was attending would enjoy a traditional turkey dinner. Anyways, just about the time everyone arrived I was barely able to keep my eyes open. I went to have a little rest. I fell asleep listening to my friends all hanging out and being happy. When I woke up - everyone had eaten and gone home. Woe. I never got my lemon tart (I think Joe ate it) - but really that wasn't the point. Everyone else did. Mission complete.
We cleaned up and collapsed on the couch. We ate left over turkey for an entire month (don't worry - we froze most of it, lol).
I miss those days...
Years and years ago when I lived in B.C. with my fabulous room-mate Carrie. There were a number of us who lived in this apartment complex that all hung out together. Many of us didn't have family immediately nearby so we all hung out together for various celebrations that would normally include family. We kind of made our own family. The holiday season was fast approaching and Carrie and I decided we would host a Thanksgiving dinner. Being 19 we had obviously never taken on such a task... but this did not dissuade us.
We had previously purchased a kind of large deep freeze for our very tiny apartment - can't really say why - seemed like a good idea at the time... we spray painted it white and the spray paint dust ended up landing on every surface - then the lid actually sealed shut with the paint.... but eventually we managed to crack it open and insert the largest turkey known to man. This thing had to be 50 pounds.
We came up with a menu that included all manner of side dishes normally served at such a dinner and furthermore decided that everyone should have an individually made lemon merange tart for dessert.
I actually worked shifts back then so the night preceding the dinner I was awake all night - but came home and was ready for battle.
We realized at about this time that the turkey was still really good and frozen despite being out for the night. Oops. So I ran it a warm bath and threw it in the tub... once it had kind of thawed we carried it into the living room and slapped it down on the living room floor and stared at it. (on newspaper)
"Wow. That thing is freakin huge."
"Yep."
"Do you know what we do now?"
"Nope."
Various phone calls to various relatives and we were told to butter and season the turkey and slap it in a pan in the oven... seems simple enough. The buttering of the rather large turkey revealed that it was indeed a slippery task. We buttered it while chasing it all over the house until eventually we had to stop and catch our breath then - we threw on some salt and pepper and stuffed it rather viciously with stuffing - but we weren't sure really which end to do that do nor were we aware of something called giblets.... ooops.
Once this task was complete we realized we didn't really have a pan of sufficient size to house our gigantic pterodactyl sized turkey - after some scrambling we came up with something and managed to squeeze it into the oven.
Task one was complete... we spent the rest of the day cooking everything else. We were bound and determined that everyone who was attending would enjoy a traditional turkey dinner. Anyways, just about the time everyone arrived I was barely able to keep my eyes open. I went to have a little rest. I fell asleep listening to my friends all hanging out and being happy. When I woke up - everyone had eaten and gone home. Woe. I never got my lemon tart (I think Joe ate it) - but really that wasn't the point. Everyone else did. Mission complete.
We cleaned up and collapsed on the couch. We ate left over turkey for an entire month (don't worry - we froze most of it, lol).
I miss those days...
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Monday, October 22, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
1. Car
HAVE - A DODGE MINI VAN - I just lost all measure of coolness.
WANT - A Volvo or a Scooby Doo (Subarooooooo).
2. House
HAVE- Beautiful old money pit
WANT- a house with a porch all the way around it and a library (complete with a dewey decimal system)
3. Job
HAVE- a job with flexible hours to allow for travel
WANT- um. someone to pay me to shop for them. that'd be fun.
4. Relationship
HAVE – the most incredible absolutely positively most wonderfully fabulous guy in the universe
WANT - to not be missing him right now...
5. Kids
HAVE- two incredible, beautiful, funny kids that I adore
WANT- at least 10 more (KIDDING - relax my little goat)
6. Money
HAVE- some (but where the hell did I put it? Shit, I think it's in the washing machine...)
WANT- to win the lottery and buy a castle with thrones and perhaps a built in spa and some pickens
7. Cell Phone
HAVE- a sadly beaten up somethingoranother - ah - it says on it "Sony Ericsson" and I bought it because I thought that the orange detailing was pretty. Priorities people.
WANT- one of those old brick cell phones in a brief case. Then I'll dress up all fancy and whip it out acting totally as though this was the hottest new trend.
8. Cell Phone Provider
HAVE- Rogers
WANT- them to pay me to use their service because I make it look cool, lol
9. Education
HAVE- I been edumacatedd good
WANT- I'd love to win a full scholarship to Harvard, Princeton and Yale. And then have the time to actually go and the brain to get killer marks.
10. Talents
HAVE- Well wouldn't you like to know
WANT- to know what they are too, LOL
11. Computer
HAVE- um. It's black... got buttons...
WANT- I dunno.
12. Internet Service Provider
HAVE- one
WANT- you to know I know nothing about these things...
13. Hair
HAVE- longish reddish brownish curly hair
WANT- It to be about 6 inches longer and not need as much product
14. Eyes
HAVE- three (2 hazel, 1 red)
WANT- I'd love to have really green eyes. Kelly green I think they call it.
15. Siblings
HAVE- one older brother
WANT- him to have 6 kids just like him and then be a stay at home dad. (muah hahaha)
16. Credit Cards
HAVE- one
WANT- to use it less, lol
17. Alcohol
HAVE- this might take a while...
WANT- more...
18. Pets
HAVE- 1 cat, and some other various creatures milling about including a very dead frog somewhere...
WANT- I'd love to have an Australian Shepherd one day
19. Collections
HAVE- pictures, SHOES, coats, books, clothes, movies, cds...
WANT- well, I dunno hows about a collection of crown jewels and sports cars while I'm at it! Or something really random and bizzare like a collection of mutant bugs.
20. Friends
HAVE- the best friends in the world
WANT- to not be missing some of them ALL OF THE TIME
Thanks Diva for letting me thieve this! (Not that you had much choice mind you)
HAVE - A DODGE MINI VAN - I just lost all measure of coolness.
WANT - A Volvo or a Scooby Doo (Subarooooooo).
2. House
HAVE- Beautiful old money pit
WANT- a house with a porch all the way around it and a library (complete with a dewey decimal system)
3. Job
HAVE- a job with flexible hours to allow for travel
WANT- um. someone to pay me to shop for them. that'd be fun.
4. Relationship
HAVE – the most incredible absolutely positively most wonderfully fabulous guy in the universe
WANT - to not be missing him right now...
5. Kids
HAVE- two incredible, beautiful, funny kids that I adore
WANT- at least 10 more (KIDDING - relax my little goat)
6. Money
HAVE- some (but where the hell did I put it? Shit, I think it's in the washing machine...)
WANT- to win the lottery and buy a castle with thrones and perhaps a built in spa and some pickens
7. Cell Phone
HAVE- a sadly beaten up somethingoranother - ah - it says on it "Sony Ericsson" and I bought it because I thought that the orange detailing was pretty. Priorities people.
WANT- one of those old brick cell phones in a brief case. Then I'll dress up all fancy and whip it out acting totally as though this was the hottest new trend.
8. Cell Phone Provider
HAVE- Rogers
WANT- them to pay me to use their service because I make it look cool, lol
9. Education
HAVE- I been edumacatedd good
WANT- I'd love to win a full scholarship to Harvard, Princeton and Yale. And then have the time to actually go and the brain to get killer marks.
10. Talents
HAVE- Well wouldn't you like to know
WANT- to know what they are too, LOL
11. Computer
HAVE- um. It's black... got buttons...
WANT- I dunno.
12. Internet Service Provider
HAVE- one
WANT- you to know I know nothing about these things...
13. Hair
HAVE- longish reddish brownish curly hair
WANT- It to be about 6 inches longer and not need as much product
14. Eyes
HAVE- three (2 hazel, 1 red)
WANT- I'd love to have really green eyes. Kelly green I think they call it.
15. Siblings
HAVE- one older brother
WANT- him to have 6 kids just like him and then be a stay at home dad. (muah hahaha)
16. Credit Cards
HAVE- one
WANT- to use it less, lol
17. Alcohol
HAVE- this might take a while...
WANT- more...
18. Pets
HAVE- 1 cat, and some other various creatures milling about including a very dead frog somewhere...
WANT- I'd love to have an Australian Shepherd one day
19. Collections
HAVE- pictures, SHOES, coats, books, clothes, movies, cds...
WANT- well, I dunno hows about a collection of crown jewels and sports cars while I'm at it! Or something really random and bizzare like a collection of mutant bugs.
20. Friends
HAVE- the best friends in the world
WANT- to not be missing some of them ALL OF THE TIME
Thanks Diva for letting me thieve this! (Not that you had much choice mind you)
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Spartan and I were adventuring around this week and I have to say - and this might scare some of you - I have found ANOTHER individual who has a similar thought process as relates to all things amusing in the world. Dangerous combination he & I...
Walking about we were admiring some admirable pigeons that were pigeoning about. Both of us spot a brown one. I think "chicken" he says "looks like a hen". The two of us continue walking trying to come up with a name for our new found friend; chickegeon.... hengeon etc. Hours later in the middle of doing something completely unrelated (That would be playing Scrabble, dirty birds)... I blurt out "PICKEN!". The reliable Spartan doesn't miss a beat. High five Spartan!
In other news - we need a new roof. Got the estimate and work starts next week.... there goes the plastic surgery fund. Dangnabbit. Love this house but it is starting to piss me off. Next life I'm going to live like they do on Survivor. Except there won't be any bugs. Also - pizza will be able to be delivered there and there will a toilet that flushes. Maybe television...
Saturday, October 13, 2007
K. Just a couple of things. Firstly, there is a sick skunk wandering around somewhere between our yard and the neighbours yard. This poses a couple of problems; it could be rabid and, it smells REALLY bad.
It has been there for a week. Every time we go outside it sprays. We have called the humane society (they are afraid of me now) but it's still there... and it still smells. AND I know everyone has smelled a skunk - either on the highway or when out for a walk - but when you get into close proximity to the initial spray - it is far worse than any smell in the universe. It is horrific. If it is still there next week - I am going to slap on a hasmat suit and do skunk recon.
Also, not drinking the water around here anymore. Just saw a blue jay the size of a crow.
I will be out happily gallivanting for a couple of days! Have a great weekend!!
It has been there for a week. Every time we go outside it sprays. We have called the humane society (they are afraid of me now) but it's still there... and it still smells. AND I know everyone has smelled a skunk - either on the highway or when out for a walk - but when you get into close proximity to the initial spray - it is far worse than any smell in the universe. It is horrific. If it is still there next week - I am going to slap on a hasmat suit and do skunk recon.
Also, not drinking the water around here anymore. Just saw a blue jay the size of a crow.
I will be out happily gallivanting for a couple of days! Have a great weekend!!
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Tuesday, October 09, 2007
Sunday, October 07, 2007
(Are you guys scared away by the comment moderation or what??)
Here for your reading pleasure is a list of small (and large things) that magically happen in my daydreams:
1. I can actually fly. Not with wings. Nope. With the invisible inner tube that I used to dream I had when I was a kid. It enables me to soar through the air not unlike Superman. The problem was, whenever I took it off to land I would lose it. (it was invisible afterall).
2. I have a cottage somewhere on an island up on a hill. And around the outside of said cottage is a porch complete with several swings and wicker tea caddies. Also, there is a white horse with a grey muzzle that runs around in a field of long flowing grass that surrounds me. Everything is whitewashed and there are more windows than walls - all of which open wide allowing long white curtains to flutter in the - always present - gentle breeze. I go there on weekends and paint things. These paintings are always flawless and one day will hang in a museum. There are no bugs there ever. Especially spiders. (Perhaps I fly there with my invisible inner tube...)
3. I have the ability to fix things around the house, such as you know - levelling things and maybe do some plumbing. This obviously lacks the same quality of unrealism as the first two fantasies, but it is unlikely enough.
4. I nonchalantly use a Bewitched type wiggle of my nose or light saber to perform common household tasks.
5. I learn to sing Opera. This is about as likely as number 4.
6. I have the ability to freeze screaming children (medusa style) and remove myself from their company instantly. They are then delivered directly to my ex in laws house - when there are about 30 of them - they thaw instantaneously (or sometimes at exactly the stroke of midnight). (I am flawed, this I know).
7. I reach the age of 100 and then start aging backwards like Mork in Mork & Mindy.
And you?
Here for your reading pleasure is a list of small (and large things) that magically happen in my daydreams:
1. I can actually fly. Not with wings. Nope. With the invisible inner tube that I used to dream I had when I was a kid. It enables me to soar through the air not unlike Superman. The problem was, whenever I took it off to land I would lose it. (it was invisible afterall).
2. I have a cottage somewhere on an island up on a hill. And around the outside of said cottage is a porch complete with several swings and wicker tea caddies. Also, there is a white horse with a grey muzzle that runs around in a field of long flowing grass that surrounds me. Everything is whitewashed and there are more windows than walls - all of which open wide allowing long white curtains to flutter in the - always present - gentle breeze. I go there on weekends and paint things. These paintings are always flawless and one day will hang in a museum. There are no bugs there ever. Especially spiders. (Perhaps I fly there with my invisible inner tube...)
3. I have the ability to fix things around the house, such as you know - levelling things and maybe do some plumbing. This obviously lacks the same quality of unrealism as the first two fantasies, but it is unlikely enough.
4. I nonchalantly use a Bewitched type wiggle of my nose or light saber to perform common household tasks.
5. I learn to sing Opera. This is about as likely as number 4.
6. I have the ability to freeze screaming children (medusa style) and remove myself from their company instantly. They are then delivered directly to my ex in laws house - when there are about 30 of them - they thaw instantaneously (or sometimes at exactly the stroke of midnight). (I am flawed, this I know).
7. I reach the age of 100 and then start aging backwards like Mork in Mork & Mindy.
And you?
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