Okay. So the other day my Mother had on her IPOD. She was singing... well sort of .... along to Tina Turner. Then she stopped and looked at me and broke into the old hands swapping on knees dance. I am permanently damaged from witnessing such a spectacle. But it was funny as hell. She IS funny as hell. She has her nose pierced and washes her hair in vinegar... which always makes me want french fries.
I was at the gym this morning and was on the bicycle (aka - TRTD - twisted revolving torture device) when I saw one of the mom's whose son used to go to the same private school my son did. I pulled him out this year because I didn't think that the school was going to stay open and recently heard that it was closed down. Anyways - she approached me and we were instantly caught up in the "did you hear" and "can you believe that?" conversation. I was never one of those mom's but since most of my friends are 45 minutes... or a plane ride away I find myself acting like I did in highschool to attract friends. It's funny actually.
She's pretty cool - but she's a bit of an over-achiever if you know what I mean. One of those mom's who is involved in every school fundraiser and miraculously raises 3 million dollars selling chocolate bars in a week and also manages to work out almost every day, be a soccer mom, have her children involved in 300 activities and still have time to keep up on all of the town gossip. I think she must drink more coffee than me. Or be on drugs.
In other and totally unrelated news - our new driver's license has a funky hologram on it. Cool.
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Woke up this morning to the sound of the wind whistling through the house and trying to rip the roof off. I swear I looked out the window and saw a medium sized pit bull flying by. So that was odd...but then lots of odd things happen before coffee.
I also stubbed my toe this morning on the coffee table, but clearly explained that if that should happen again the table might enjoy being whittled or becoming firewood... so now I think it should think about what it's done (wicked devil) and perhaps won't be a repeat offender.
I also stubbed my toe this morning on the coffee table, but clearly explained that if that should happen again the table might enjoy being whittled or becoming firewood... so now I think it should think about what it's done (wicked devil) and perhaps won't be a repeat offender.
Monday, January 28, 2008
I'M BAAAAAAACK.
I have missed the land of Blog and all of it's inhabitants!
I had quite a week. It was filled with laughter, childish pranks, wonderful food and fantastic company. Oh yeah, also this...
Yeah. We don't know either. It was hanging above Spartan's head in an odd and slightly evil giftshop...
It's where nightmares come from for sure... still gives me shivers...
Friday, January 18, 2008
Last night - no new Grey's. The tears are unabashedly washing down my cheeks and shan't cease until the writer's strike is over...
But other than that life is good. I am going to post some over the next week... but will be very busy concocting new and fun shenanigans to photograph for your viewing pleasure (good thing I typed that or I would have forgotten my camera...yikes).
I love online check-in! Got the best seats possible because I was awake at an ungodly hour so was able to get there before everyone else. HOOray. (So... it appears I will be flying the plane myself. Westjet is pretty relaxed about that type of thing...)
I have packed an entire suitcase of cosmetics and accessories. I think instead of reading on the flight I will perfect my bitchy eyebrow expression... as showcased below...
(I don't know about you guys - but her hair kind of reminds me of the hair the dude had in Dracula?)
But other than that life is good. I am going to post some over the next week... but will be very busy concocting new and fun shenanigans to photograph for your viewing pleasure (good thing I typed that or I would have forgotten my camera...yikes).
I love online check-in! Got the best seats possible because I was awake at an ungodly hour so was able to get there before everyone else. HOOray. (So... it appears I will be flying the plane myself. Westjet is pretty relaxed about that type of thing...)
I have packed an entire suitcase of cosmetics and accessories. I think instead of reading on the flight I will perfect my bitchy eyebrow expression... as showcased below...
(I don't know about you guys - but her hair kind of reminds me of the hair the dude had in Dracula?)
Happy weekend bloggers!
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Naked at the gym, Pants Falling down and 2 days to go!
So, I am all ready to go to my other home on Saturday. I am very very pleased about this. So pleased in fact, that I awoke this morning and a great big grin spread across my face.... and I set about cleaning the house humming a little tune the entire time. Then I went to the gym. It was a good workout but the yoga pants I bought were too big so all the while I was running they were trying to fall down. Which was funny but annoying.
Then when I went into the change room I was greeted by a woman who was fully nude. I'm talking full on nekkid. Walking through the change room strutting her stuff with a towel in her hand. I mean I get it - you're proud of your body and comfortable with it. I'm so happy for you - really. But golly. Put the towel on. I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU NEKKID. Yikes. It'd be different if she were simply changing but she was just strolling around la de dum.
I would never do that. I wonder if it's different for guys. Do they have any more discretion than women? Or are they all like BAM, check this out - how ya like me now?
Then when I went into the change room I was greeted by a woman who was fully nude. I'm talking full on nekkid. Walking through the change room strutting her stuff with a towel in her hand. I mean I get it - you're proud of your body and comfortable with it. I'm so happy for you - really. But golly. Put the towel on. I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU NEKKID. Yikes. It'd be different if she were simply changing but she was just strolling around la de dum.
I would never do that. I wonder if it's different for guys. Do they have any more discretion than women? Or are they all like BAM, check this out - how ya like me now?
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
The other day our friend and fellow blogger Earl made a comment about a monster hiding under the bed.
Got me to thinking... (UHOH)
When I was a kid I was absolutely convinced that there WAS indeed such a monster that had taken up residence in that very place. So sure, in fact, that I took a running leap into my bed for many years. When I say many years... I mean many years. I was nearly a teenager when this phenomenon stopped haunting my mind... and perhaps stopping me from becoming the next Olympian medal winning pole vaulter.
How, you may wonder, did I get to the point where I could get into the bed without the flying squirrel approach?
It began with logic dictating that they could not in actuality be anything under there except a few socks and the odd skittle. I proved this theory by turning on ALL of the lights, clutching a flashlight and LOOKING beneath the bed (and eating some skittles)... and then forcing myself to stand there with my toes under the bed for a long period of time. Though this filled me with irrational terror initially, eventually it worked. Logic overrode the fear and I was able to get into bed like normal people.
Though I have to admit that on occasion (ie, after watching the Grudge) I am still tempted to take a little hop...
Got me to thinking... (UHOH)
When I was a kid I was absolutely convinced that there WAS indeed such a monster that had taken up residence in that very place. So sure, in fact, that I took a running leap into my bed for many years. When I say many years... I mean many years. I was nearly a teenager when this phenomenon stopped haunting my mind... and perhaps stopping me from becoming the next Olympian medal winning pole vaulter.
How, you may wonder, did I get to the point where I could get into the bed without the flying squirrel approach?
It began with logic dictating that they could not in actuality be anything under there except a few socks and the odd skittle. I proved this theory by turning on ALL of the lights, clutching a flashlight and LOOKING beneath the bed (and eating some skittles)... and then forcing myself to stand there with my toes under the bed for a long period of time. Though this filled me with irrational terror initially, eventually it worked. Logic overrode the fear and I was able to get into bed like normal people.
Though I have to admit that on occasion (ie, after watching the Grudge) I am still tempted to take a little hop...
Monday, January 14, 2008
The Mail Is Just a Wonderful Thing
I love getting mail. Snail mail. With stamps.
I hate getting junk mail.... usually.
But today I had a post card for a Past Life Regression journey. Now THAT could be fun.
I wonder if I really was a princess in my past life? Or maybe some starlett. That would explain a lot of things. Hmmm.
Last month when I was at my "other" home the doorbell rang. I think Spartan and I were in the process of getting up and showered, you know just not primed for company. But since Spartan was IN the shower - I went to answer the door. Since I don't know all of the people that know Spartan, it was quite possible that this couple standing outside the door were friends of his, just popping in to wish a Merry xmas and all that. And they LOOKED normal (ish).
Anyways, as usual I was being very friendly. They seemed sort of confused by my demeanor. That should have been the first clue. Then when the woman told me that she had met my husband back at the beginning of the year... my husband? That's clue number two, right? But on I went becoming friendlier by the second. So friendly in fact that I scared them away but not before the woman very nervously ask me how I felt about the death of a loved one. Then she read me the bible. Then they threw a pamphlet at me and literally ran like hell. But not before I yelled "Merry Christmas" down the street. Hee heee heh.
I returned to Spartan and produced the flyer. Mmm. Lighthouse. Learn yourself up baby. What? We're out of toilet paper? Here... use this. It will make you feel holey allover. *snicker*
I hate getting junk mail.... usually.
But today I had a post card for a Past Life Regression journey. Now THAT could be fun.
I wonder if I really was a princess in my past life? Or maybe some starlett. That would explain a lot of things. Hmmm.
Last month when I was at my "other" home the doorbell rang. I think Spartan and I were in the process of getting up and showered, you know just not primed for company. But since Spartan was IN the shower - I went to answer the door. Since I don't know all of the people that know Spartan, it was quite possible that this couple standing outside the door were friends of his, just popping in to wish a Merry xmas and all that. And they LOOKED normal (ish).
Anyways, as usual I was being very friendly. They seemed sort of confused by my demeanor. That should have been the first clue. Then when the woman told me that she had met my husband back at the beginning of the year... my husband? That's clue number two, right? But on I went becoming friendlier by the second. So friendly in fact that I scared them away but not before the woman very nervously ask me how I felt about the death of a loved one. Then she read me the bible. Then they threw a pamphlet at me and literally ran like hell. But not before I yelled "Merry Christmas" down the street. Hee heee heh.
I returned to Spartan and produced the flyer. Mmm. Lighthouse. Learn yourself up baby. What? We're out of toilet paper? Here... use this. It will make you feel holey allover. *snicker*
Saturday, January 12, 2008
A Little Wisdom From Starbucks
"In a world where celebrity equals talent, and where make believe is called reality, it is most important to have real love, truth and stability in your life."
Amen, oh fabulous makers of java.
Imagine finding something so nice on your cup of coffee. Maybe it should really say... "In a world where celebrity equals talent, and where make believe is called reality, it is most important to be a make believe celebrity." I am make believing that right now. It is working. (Where the hell is the valet anyways? Why do I pay these people?).
Hmm. We should make up our own inspirational or funny sayings to right in permanent marker on our own coffee cups;
"In a world where coffee costs $5.00 a cup, where image is everything and Botox exists - it is most important to be rich, beautiful and wrinkle free."
YES. I likey. Any ideas from the peanut gallery?
Friday, January 11, 2008
Play It Again Sam...
Casablanca. They never actually said that in the movie you know...it was, "Play it Sam. Play...As Time Goes By..."
I loved that movie. So heartbreakingly romantic. Just like the Notebook. The Notebook is the modern romantic equivalent to Casablanca. Wish I could do my hair like that...wish I could appear in black and white and wander around Paris with that soft lens effect, lol.
I had a dream last night that made me think of Casablanca. It was funny. I was in Paris at the beginning of it. I flew in on a little prop plane like the one in the afore mentioned movie. It was in colour - but my hair did look kind of fantastic (as only dream hair can). I also had a fabulous outfit on... but I digress. The point of my dream was - someone stole Spartan and I was searching for him. It was not unlike Where In The World in Carmen Sandiego... but there were these dreamy sequences of me walking around cities stopping on bridges and gazing out into the night longingly.
Every city I landed in had a clue. And I was often approached by random people who - for some reason knew what I was doing and were offering to help me by providing me with hints. It even had a soundtrack which makes it even stranger. (sort of like the link)
Anyways, I kept flying around - just narrowly missing him - but eventually after 30 years, I found him in the first place I started looking. Oddly, I was still wearing the same dress....He was standing near a fountain in a cobble stoned courtyard - just after it had finished raining. Strangely - as it was dreamland - we hadn't aged a bit but the entire world had. I think we actually looked younger. He had his hands in his pockets and a little smile. We walked towards eachother, slowly and I was crying - sobbing actually. I said, "My...ey...ey...eyes are leaking." He said, "I know just what to do about that." Instead of kissing away my tears like you might imagine - he broke out into this Riverdance type jig and started belting out "Singing in the Rain" that somehow did a full circle to "If Your Happy and You Know It". (Yes, I clapped my hands).
Somehow the romantic epic of a dream I was having went sort of sideways in the retelling. Which is precisely why I'm retelling it. Cuz it was funny.
Then he handed me a take out coffee (just the way I like it) and asked if I wanted to go home. I just smiled and nodded, we clasp hands and walked off into the night.
Dreams are strange. (I could certainly use that coffee right about now...)
I loved that movie. So heartbreakingly romantic. Just like the Notebook. The Notebook is the modern romantic equivalent to Casablanca. Wish I could do my hair like that...wish I could appear in black and white and wander around Paris with that soft lens effect, lol.
I had a dream last night that made me think of Casablanca. It was funny. I was in Paris at the beginning of it. I flew in on a little prop plane like the one in the afore mentioned movie. It was in colour - but my hair did look kind of fantastic (as only dream hair can). I also had a fabulous outfit on... but I digress. The point of my dream was - someone stole Spartan and I was searching for him. It was not unlike Where In The World in Carmen Sandiego... but there were these dreamy sequences of me walking around cities stopping on bridges and gazing out into the night longingly.
Every city I landed in had a clue. And I was often approached by random people who - for some reason knew what I was doing and were offering to help me by providing me with hints. It even had a soundtrack which makes it even stranger. (sort of like the link)
Anyways, I kept flying around - just narrowly missing him - but eventually after 30 years, I found him in the first place I started looking. Oddly, I was still wearing the same dress....He was standing near a fountain in a cobble stoned courtyard - just after it had finished raining. Strangely - as it was dreamland - we hadn't aged a bit but the entire world had. I think we actually looked younger. He had his hands in his pockets and a little smile. We walked towards eachother, slowly and I was crying - sobbing actually. I said, "My...ey...ey...eyes are leaking." He said, "I know just what to do about that." Instead of kissing away my tears like you might imagine - he broke out into this Riverdance type jig and started belting out "Singing in the Rain" that somehow did a full circle to "If Your Happy and You Know It". (Yes, I clapped my hands).
Somehow the romantic epic of a dream I was having went sort of sideways in the retelling. Which is precisely why I'm retelling it. Cuz it was funny.
Then he handed me a take out coffee (just the way I like it) and asked if I wanted to go home. I just smiled and nodded, we clasp hands and walked off into the night.
Dreams are strange. (I could certainly use that coffee right about now...)
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
What is it with creepy dudes at the gym? Creepy dudes who stare at you the entire time you are on the treadmill. The Problem is - even though I wanted to move - a) I didn't want to let him get to me AND b) I was afraid I might offend him or hurt his feelings!!!!! WHAT IS THAT? Do you have any idea how uncomfortable it is to run while someone stares at you? It's not right.
I remember my mom saying that when she and my dad used to argue he would sit and stare at her. I told her to paint eyes on her eyelids and stare back - but in actuality fall asleep like that. Sure fire way to win a staring contest. Perhaps I could employ this technique somehow with creepy man. But if I close my eyes on the treadmill, I WILL fall off.
Having gone away to consult my mother about the matter --- I return with a new plan, next time I will pretend to pick my nose. It will either, a) give him a reason to stare, or b) make him look away because it's yucky. PERFECT. (then I can just tell everyone else I was just dusting like Babs!)
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Bonus Post - pour vous! Mais oui! C'est vrai!
Roo-"Babs, that's gross. Stop picking your nose."
Babs-"I'm not ROO! I was just.... dusting it."
Me - loud unstoppable side clutching laughter while hugging my little dustmop tight. Oops. Mother of the year award is slipping further and further away...
I found a pair of smashing shoes today that have been missing in boxes that I have been searching through this week. These are my favorite and most painful shoes. They sparkle, they shine - and they make me 7 feet tall. (Okay not really). But you know how the taller you are the skinnier you look? Yeah? Well I feel like a twizzler when I wear these shoes - and in case you were wondering that's a good thing. Sadly, though they make my legs look rather fabulous if I do say so myself - they are really only good for one thing. That one thing is sitting. But sit I will and I will look damn good doing it.
That just completely cheered me up. Little things people. It's in the little things.
I also ate a chocolate chip cookie fresh from the oven. Nearly brought tears of joy to my eyes. I could have been 6 years old in that moment. Nothing so good for a grumpy day as a new "old" pair of shoes and a warm chocolate chip cookie.
I have also returned to confess that my pillow obsession has reached a new level of insanity. The pillows now take up exactly one half of my bed when made. It crept up slowly and now it's getting out of hand. Can't seem to stop myself. I keep adding more when no one's looking. Soon there will be no room left for the bed. When I actually go to bed and have to remove all of the"decorative" pillows - there is actually no floor left in the room. Makes it rather difficult when one's been drinking wine and attempts to find the loo around 3 a.m.... not that I know anyone like that mind you...
(I picture my life down the road;
Me - "I know Dr. but I really like pillows. They comfort me. It's like a hobby. I don't see the harm in it really."
Spartan - "But Dr., she makes me sleep on the floor. She says there's no room in the bed."
Me - "But I sleep with you on the floor!"
Spartan - "SEE?"
Me - "What! At least the stairs come in handy to arrange the pillows!!")
The worst part is - tonight for a fleeting moment, I was actually trying to figure out if I could manage to sleep stretched across the bottom of the bed - as not the disturb the carefully arranged bouquet of pillows (aka - b.o.p.).
And now I am going to go back to eating cookies and binge drinking. LOL. Just kidding. Hot cocoa tonight kids.
*in stage whisper* It's all about the chocolate.
AHRGH. Email isn't working. That makes me mad. Like an injured animal mad.
I don't usually reveal such things but - today I am frustrated with my life - we all have days like that I suppose. Today is mine. I have no right to feel sorry for my lot in life. AT ALL. Yet, here I am today doing just that. Anyone have any words of wisdom out there? Give em up. Or tell me to suck it up and get on with it. Since that is exactly what should be doing.
Good things?
It's crazy warm here today. Feels like spring outside. So that's nice. Yup.
I love my guy. He's really special.
I have great friends. Also very special.
My kids are sweet and have been showering me with kisses all day.
I have fresh baked bread. Yum.
I cleaned out the junk drawer.
I am having a semi good hair day.
I matched 6 pairs of misc. socks.
Also, I found a lovely shiny penny under my bed.
I want to go to sleep now and wake up next year... where did I put those depends? (They will look hot with this look don't you think?)
I don't usually reveal such things but - today I am frustrated with my life - we all have days like that I suppose. Today is mine. I have no right to feel sorry for my lot in life. AT ALL. Yet, here I am today doing just that. Anyone have any words of wisdom out there? Give em up. Or tell me to suck it up and get on with it. Since that is exactly what should be doing.
Good things?
It's crazy warm here today. Feels like spring outside. So that's nice. Yup.
I love my guy. He's really special.
I have great friends. Also very special.
My kids are sweet and have been showering me with kisses all day.
I have fresh baked bread. Yum.
I cleaned out the junk drawer.
I am having a semi good hair day.
I matched 6 pairs of misc. socks.
Also, I found a lovely shiny penny under my bed.
I want to go to sleep now and wake up next year... where did I put those depends? (They will look hot with this look don't you think?)
Actually, this looks like waaay to much effort. I mean who wears matching bows to bed?? Think I'll retire wearing the huge red flannel p.j's covered with penguins. They will feel far better than they look, lol.
Monday, January 07, 2008
A wonderful weekend, monsters and white knuckled lady
Did anyone out there know that Ottawa has no people in it? Tis the truth. City is deserted. Either that or they all sleep in really really late. They also have random "holidays" where they shut down the Starbucks simply to make me cry. Lucky for me Spartan found a Tim's and it is that reason that I may go back one day. That - and I'm dying to know where the people are actually hiding... (seriously - where the heck did they go? there was tumbleweed downtown)
On the return home I was seated beside a woman who was terrified to fly. The kind that practically claws your arm off and then nearly sits in your lap. Lady. You could have driven and - they do have drugs for that type of thing. Then there were the kids in front of me. Hellions. Three of them. Screaming "I am eating boogers" at the tops of their lungs and kicking the seats. The doctor can also provide something for that - the birth control pill. Tee hee hee. But seriously - why? Threaten to lock them in the basement for the rest of their lives or to take away their xbox. Do something. I mean - really - the emergency exit is NOT that hard to open. Is it really that hard to get your monsters to behave with a modicum of decorum?? They were old enough to know better. Sheesh. I'm eating boogers?! Who says that? Rant over. Really - I'm not that grumpy - but this was extreme.
I am about to prepare dinner and it's times like these that I wish Kat lived beside me so I could steal some of hers. She is such a good cook.
I'm going to go pour myself a very delicious beverage now...it's going to have some alcohol in it. I know this shocks you seeing as how I'm a Reverend and all.
Lastly - I think we should unite as bloggers and do something about this writers strike. This is starting to bug me. No new Grey's??!! I will die a little each Thursday until this is rectified. Maybe we could as a collective write the shows ourselves? I'm getting desperate. I can only take so much. This is Grey's we're talking about here. It's practically my best friend. (Okay - maybe I'm being a bit dramatic - ) I wonder if the writers are stockpiling fabulous scripts so that when they do come back they will make it up to us - the innocent and loyal viewers? That thought will keep me going for another week - but then I think something ought to be done. Maybe, if we all chip in 5 bucks we could bribe them?
On the return home I was seated beside a woman who was terrified to fly. The kind that practically claws your arm off and then nearly sits in your lap. Lady. You could have driven and - they do have drugs for that type of thing. Then there were the kids in front of me. Hellions. Three of them. Screaming "I am eating boogers" at the tops of their lungs and kicking the seats. The doctor can also provide something for that - the birth control pill. Tee hee hee. But seriously - why? Threaten to lock them in the basement for the rest of their lives or to take away their xbox. Do something. I mean - really - the emergency exit is NOT that hard to open. Is it really that hard to get your monsters to behave with a modicum of decorum?? They were old enough to know better. Sheesh. I'm eating boogers?! Who says that? Rant over. Really - I'm not that grumpy - but this was extreme.
I am about to prepare dinner and it's times like these that I wish Kat lived beside me so I could steal some of hers. She is such a good cook.
I'm going to go pour myself a very delicious beverage now...it's going to have some alcohol in it. I know this shocks you seeing as how I'm a Reverend and all.
Lastly - I think we should unite as bloggers and do something about this writers strike. This is starting to bug me. No new Grey's??!! I will die a little each Thursday until this is rectified. Maybe we could as a collective write the shows ourselves? I'm getting desperate. I can only take so much. This is Grey's we're talking about here. It's practically my best friend. (Okay - maybe I'm being a bit dramatic - ) I wonder if the writers are stockpiling fabulous scripts so that when they do come back they will make it up to us - the innocent and loyal viewers? That thought will keep me going for another week - but then I think something ought to be done. Maybe, if we all chip in 5 bucks we could bribe them?
Thursday, January 03, 2008
You Can Dress Me Up...
Evidently I should not be allowed to drink wine. It makes me silly. Though... I have to admit I think there is a chance that I might be anyways. (In fact - in the picture above I am pretty sure I had only had one glass of wine and yet... it would appear that I had zero inhibitions...)
"lasers"
I have no idea what I was doing here. Looks like I was cursing her... or putting peas in her hair. Actually I think I just gave her a wet willy. Memory is a little hazy...
This was the night out the brought the previously mentioned "Christmas Number One" to an end. I hate it when it ends. Makes me go into a kind of hibernation of sorts. But what a great way to end it.
There was this one table of older women. We called them the "cougar" table. They were sitting - attempting to act in a rather refined manner throughout their dinner. This appeared to be only for the benefit of the male inhabitants of the restaurant this particular evening since - in the ladies bathroom they were caught belching out the alphabet. "K"lassy.
At one point in the evening I have a vague recollection of the kitchen staff coming out to our table and hugging one of the diners. And if that isn't strange enough for you - I also recall shoving several bits of cutlery down Carrie's top...
Sigh. Do my hair, nails and put a beautiful dress on me... I'm still just as much me as when I am tucked into bed wearing my flannel p.j.'s. Well - not to say that I can't act properly - I just don't really like to... certainly not with the company I had that evening. What a lot of fun. Have I mentioned before that I love my people? I love my people. They take care of me and make sure that I arrive home in one piece... and also that I don't leave any bits of clothing behind.
Now - for something totally unrelated and shamelessly i will make absolutely no attempt to segue... (ever ride one of those? Might be fun...)
I went to the gym yesterday to do the formerly mentioned much loathed leg work out. I stopped loathing it though somewhere in there. Now I'm back to where I was at the beginning. I feel like I've been beaten with a pipe from the waist down. My fault. Didn't do the workout regularly enough and now I'm paying for it. I cannot walk properly down the stairs and am not holding out much hope of donning heels and being able to walk gracefully tomorrow. Funny to watch though.
Again no segue.... too tired.
I did finally manage to locate body tape. Oh yes. Been looking for that. Fantastic for those outfits that threaten to fall down or reveal just a tad too much. J Lo used it so that makes it cool. Actually - scratch that - I will use it - THAT will make it cool. I imagine that it won't be long until I come up with a prank or a stupid human trick that uses this stuff. Oooh. New party tricks here we come.
Off to have a fantabulous weekend and am verra verra excited. Hope you guys have a great one too.
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Going through old boxes...
Found some old pics of Carrie and I jumping on the bed.
The Whistler trip with Jeff and Carrie... I think we were really hung over here...
The Harrison Hot Springs trip with Carrie - we were going to be famous movie stars...
(I have worn my hair the same way for - like - 10 years. I need a new style... )
I love finding old Carrie and Liz pics... (PST Carrie - how much will you pay me not to post the one of you 9 months pregnant dancing in your underoos? - I know I know ... miss piggy pic - I won't do it ;-P)
Monday, December 31, 2007
2008 is almost here...
Hooray, another new year approaches.
I’ve done this before. I’m getting to be a virtual pro at coming up with resolutions. Now… if I could just actually stick to any of them I’d really be getting somewhere. In fact by my calculations – if I had lost the five pounds a year that I resolved to – every year – starting 10 years ago… I should weigh in at or about 80 pounds. Clearly this wouldn’t be a good thing. I would have to run around the shower to get wet, and with two little kids to look after I can’t afford the extra time that would take. I would also end up on Dr Phil – and for all the wrong reasons since, clearly at some point I will be a guest because something great I have written or done. It has had such a positive influence on the world that all talk show hosts will vie for my attention. Maybe I will win the Nobel peace prize because I have invented something that stops world wars. I will be selective; Oprah first, then Barbara Walters and then maybe Dr. Phil.
Yes – I have resolved to do many great things each time the New Year rolled around. World peace, world domination, making a lifesize sculpture of Harry Potter out of jello (okay, maybe not that one). Among them somewhere I think I also resolved to become really good at not letting the little things get to me – and then promptly experienced an unparalleled fit of road rage… at the Chucky Cheese parking lot. Stink eye from parents and children. I should get a trophy for that one.
One particularly ambitious year I decided I would learn a new skill. Something really exciting – like mountain climbing. I got as far as the top of my stairs but somehow think will not count this towards the afore mentioned goal.
Then last year was parasailing or waterskiing. I got on a banana boat and nearly broke my neck – does it count? Maybe not. But this one was at least close (ish). What? It WAS in the water…
Life just got in the way. Not in a good way like – I was too busy living life to the fullest. Nope. It just gets in the way sometimes – and so do the bills, the oil changes, the laundry, the dishwasher, cleaning out the attic, making a voodoo doll of my ex husband, grocery shopping and all of the other mundane tasks that make up the day to day. All of the things we plan to do get pushed forward another week, another month… maybe to next year. But what I fear will happen is, I will get to the end of my life and all of a sudden notice that all of those things I really wanted to do – never got done.
This year I resolve to take baby steps towards making sure that doesn’t happen. I will stop to smell the roses. I will remember to breathe and remind the people I care about how special they are – all of the time. They do afterall – deserve to know. I will also floss. Not everyday. Baby steps people. But I WILL floss. I will try to be more patient. I will make real mashed potatoes once and a while. I will try to understand that you cannot hold other people up to your own expectations – sometimes they are doing the very best that they can and that will have to be enough. I will fight for what is fair – and I will win in some small way – or maybe in a big way – but I will fight hard for what I believe is right. I will sing to the kids more. I will try to make people laugh. I will take the time to notice the little things that add up to the biggest things in the end. I will try to believe in myself and be kinder to myself. I will try to forgive others for the unkind things they clearly aren’t capable of understanding or doing differently. I will try not to eat an entire box of chocolates in one night (at least in two…). I will let myself cry. I will try to laugh more (though not at the same time…) I will jump in a puddle, maybe two. I will try to pay more attention to world politics and less attention to the gossip magazines. I will bake.
I say goodbye to 2007 with mixed emotions; it was a year of some incredible things that I will never forget – and of over coming the odds. It was a year that brought closure to one chapter of my life – and that I was eager to put behind me - and a much needed new beginning. A year where I have seen some of my dearest friends a great deal more than I have been able to before. A year of incredible surprises and some struggles. But the year that I will remember most for having brought me love. The kind that I never knew or could have imagined existed. All in all a pretty good year. One of the best of my life.
I have a feeling that 2008 will be an even better year. Here’s to hoping yours is too. (Does anyone have any dental floss I can borrow? I use the term “borrow” loosely – I won’t be returning it… unless you really wanted it back…which is really kind of disgusting…)
I’ve done this before. I’m getting to be a virtual pro at coming up with resolutions. Now… if I could just actually stick to any of them I’d really be getting somewhere. In fact by my calculations – if I had lost the five pounds a year that I resolved to – every year – starting 10 years ago… I should weigh in at or about 80 pounds. Clearly this wouldn’t be a good thing. I would have to run around the shower to get wet, and with two little kids to look after I can’t afford the extra time that would take. I would also end up on Dr Phil – and for all the wrong reasons since, clearly at some point I will be a guest because something great I have written or done. It has had such a positive influence on the world that all talk show hosts will vie for my attention. Maybe I will win the Nobel peace prize because I have invented something that stops world wars. I will be selective; Oprah first, then Barbara Walters and then maybe Dr. Phil.
Yes – I have resolved to do many great things each time the New Year rolled around. World peace, world domination, making a lifesize sculpture of Harry Potter out of jello (okay, maybe not that one). Among them somewhere I think I also resolved to become really good at not letting the little things get to me – and then promptly experienced an unparalleled fit of road rage… at the Chucky Cheese parking lot. Stink eye from parents and children. I should get a trophy for that one.
One particularly ambitious year I decided I would learn a new skill. Something really exciting – like mountain climbing. I got as far as the top of my stairs but somehow think will not count this towards the afore mentioned goal.
Then last year was parasailing or waterskiing. I got on a banana boat and nearly broke my neck – does it count? Maybe not. But this one was at least close (ish). What? It WAS in the water…
Life just got in the way. Not in a good way like – I was too busy living life to the fullest. Nope. It just gets in the way sometimes – and so do the bills, the oil changes, the laundry, the dishwasher, cleaning out the attic, making a voodoo doll of my ex husband, grocery shopping and all of the other mundane tasks that make up the day to day. All of the things we plan to do get pushed forward another week, another month… maybe to next year. But what I fear will happen is, I will get to the end of my life and all of a sudden notice that all of those things I really wanted to do – never got done.
This year I resolve to take baby steps towards making sure that doesn’t happen. I will stop to smell the roses. I will remember to breathe and remind the people I care about how special they are – all of the time. They do afterall – deserve to know. I will also floss. Not everyday. Baby steps people. But I WILL floss. I will try to be more patient. I will make real mashed potatoes once and a while. I will try to understand that you cannot hold other people up to your own expectations – sometimes they are doing the very best that they can and that will have to be enough. I will fight for what is fair – and I will win in some small way – or maybe in a big way – but I will fight hard for what I believe is right. I will sing to the kids more. I will try to make people laugh. I will take the time to notice the little things that add up to the biggest things in the end. I will try to believe in myself and be kinder to myself. I will try to forgive others for the unkind things they clearly aren’t capable of understanding or doing differently. I will try not to eat an entire box of chocolates in one night (at least in two…). I will let myself cry. I will try to laugh more (though not at the same time…) I will jump in a puddle, maybe two. I will try to pay more attention to world politics and less attention to the gossip magazines. I will bake.
I say goodbye to 2007 with mixed emotions; it was a year of some incredible things that I will never forget – and of over coming the odds. It was a year that brought closure to one chapter of my life – and that I was eager to put behind me - and a much needed new beginning. A year where I have seen some of my dearest friends a great deal more than I have been able to before. A year of incredible surprises and some struggles. But the year that I will remember most for having brought me love. The kind that I never knew or could have imagined existed. All in all a pretty good year. One of the best of my life.
I have a feeling that 2008 will be an even better year. Here’s to hoping yours is too. (Does anyone have any dental floss I can borrow? I use the term “borrow” loosely – I won’t be returning it… unless you really wanted it back…which is really kind of disgusting…)
Sunday, December 30, 2007
I am a minister now
Yep. Seriously. Universal Life Church Monastery.
But...
CANADIAN ULC MINISTERS WILL HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE PAPERWORK IN EACH PROVINCE TO BE APPROVED PRIOR TO OFFICIATING ANY MARRIAGES IN YOUR COUNTRY. Canadian ministers are asked to write a letter to the church to request that they be placed on a special mailing list that the church maintains to keep our ministers in Canada informed when each approval from the Provinces is received by the church.
So - not entirely sure what that means but anyhoo...
I was ordained online at 12:26:57 pm today.
That's right beotches. Take note. I am holy.
But...
CANADIAN ULC MINISTERS WILL HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE PAPERWORK IN EACH PROVINCE TO BE APPROVED PRIOR TO OFFICIATING ANY MARRIAGES IN YOUR COUNTRY. Canadian ministers are asked to write a letter to the church to request that they be placed on a special mailing list that the church maintains to keep our ministers in Canada informed when each approval from the Provinces is received by the church.
So - not entirely sure what that means but anyhoo...
I was ordained online at 12:26:57 pm today.
That's right beotches. Take note. I am holy.
Friday, December 28, 2007
Okay folks. I have been a tad neglectful as of late. There are several reasons for this,
1. I have spent the last three days trying to remove a doll from packaging - that was clearly designed to make me completely mental and found myself wishing that I could put the people who did this into a similar life size version of this package and then tell THEM to find their way out - (and yes, I would sew THEIR hair to the package too),
2. I have been busy eating chocolate,
3. The only posts I could think of were ranting about how unfair life is - ...and,
4. I have been busy eating chocolate. ;-D
But now the chocolate is gone, I set the doll on fire and I am back to my EXTREMELY POSITIVE self. I AM EXTREMELY HAPPY. VERY POSITIVE.
But seriously - it's days like this that someone should kick me in the head. I have so much to be grateful for. I should focus on those things, remain positive and know that everything will be just fine. But what I really want is more chocolate - and a gallon of wine. Oh yes, and a private jet... and maybe someone could video tape my ex acting like a donkey's bum and put it on television screens all over town. You know what drives me nuts? That everyone thinks he's such a mellow and nice guy. In reality he's a tyrannical twisted human being who is inherently evil. Just plain old mean. OOPS - BACK TO POSITIVE!!!! KERSMACK!!!!
I have great people. Let me tell you about them in no particular order; (positivepositivepositive)
Babs and Roo - the most incredible kids on the earth. Kind and funny. Sweet and smart. They are - after all - just like their mother (wink wink). I am truly blessed.
Carrie B- Carrie was my room mate 12 years (almost 13) ago. She shared her family with me. I hid koolaide from her. She laughed all the time and was always up for any Liz inspired adventure - no matter how half baked the idea was. She also complemented my cooking - even if it was inedible - and we shared clothes. She never judged me and I always knew that she would be on my side. She has been. Every single time - without question. She's my backbone when I can't find mine and would be slithering around a dirty floor. (Well, okay not THAT dirty - but it could use a dust mop). She came looking for me when I was lost. She held my hand and pointed me in the right direction and always gave good advice. She also introduced me to the love of my life. Pretty good friend, hey?
Kathleen - Kathleen is the kind of wonderful friend who is always there to lend an ear. No matter what. She has a kind heart. She appreciates everything you do for her no matter how small. She would go to the ends of the earth if you needed her - lugging two kids behind her and making sure they had appropriate snacks. She is an incredible mother. She tells the truth. She stands by what she knows is right, and against what she knows is wrong. She does not waiver. She is one of the strongest people I know. She has faith in her friends and in her family. Her heart is bigger than the earth. (How does it fit in her body??!!)
Carrie L- Carrie is the best friend from highschool - jumping- in -puddles-and-eating-candy-until-you-puke kind of friend. The kind of girl that doesn't let too many people see that she has such a kind heart. She comes across as sarcastic and funny all of the time - with this tough exterior - but deep down she has angel's wings. She is easy to laugh. She has astounding wit. She is also kind of like Martha Stewart and her house is always eerily clean. Her hand soap smells delicious - but it doesn't taste that way - trust me. She is very creative. Her dog will live forever. Seriously. She is giving of herself and all that she has. She is so much fun. She also makes really good shortbread.
Taal - Taal is someone who I feel very lucky to have in my life. She is lovely. That is the word for her. She is lovely and she is kind. She gives easily of herself and her many talents. (Martini anyone?) She is a really good person. I am truly happy to hear her voice or to share her company. She is wonderful. I miss seeing her as often as I used to.
Dee - Dee is one of the most patient individuals I have ever met. I don't think I've ever seen her angry or mean. She just doesn't have it in her. She is an amazing mom. She makes terrific coffee. She is kind. She is always smiling.We can look back at all of the years we have been friends and laugh our asses of at some of the stuff we have done. She is a total sweetheart.
Mom - she is an angel. I'm convinced. If she weren't my mother, she would be my friend. She is sweet, kind, smart, beautiful, funny and an incredible cook. She has more energy than three people.
Spartan - Spartan couldn't be left out of this. He is my sweetheart, the love of my life and my very best friend. The person I want to speak to first when something good happens or when something shite happens. The first person I think of in the morning and the last at night. He has the most integrity of anyone I have ever known. He is positive and he is kind. He's also very handsome and makes me feel beautiful. He appreciates everything. His smile could light the earth up. He is intelligent. He is driven. He has a cute hiney. He really is my prince charming. I am so very happy he is in my life. I will spend the rest of my life trying to be good enough to be deserving of such an incredible, wonderful person.
Crazy Linda - She fell into my life with a laugh that could start the world laughing. She is bright, she is crazy. She is utter fun. Adorable.
There are others but for now I think I am done...
There. Now I am feeling better. Amazing how little those awful people are when you actually look at what's important. In the long run - I know that my life will end up just fine. I shouldn't get so caught up in the bullshit along the way.
Off to make dinner and I believe that some wine is in order....
1. I have spent the last three days trying to remove a doll from packaging - that was clearly designed to make me completely mental and found myself wishing that I could put the people who did this into a similar life size version of this package and then tell THEM to find their way out - (and yes, I would sew THEIR hair to the package too),
2. I have been busy eating chocolate,
3. The only posts I could think of were ranting about how unfair life is - ...and,
4. I have been busy eating chocolate. ;-D
But now the chocolate is gone, I set the doll on fire and I am back to my EXTREMELY POSITIVE self. I AM EXTREMELY HAPPY. VERY POSITIVE.
But seriously - it's days like this that someone should kick me in the head. I have so much to be grateful for. I should focus on those things, remain positive and know that everything will be just fine. But what I really want is more chocolate - and a gallon of wine. Oh yes, and a private jet... and maybe someone could video tape my ex acting like a donkey's bum and put it on television screens all over town. You know what drives me nuts? That everyone thinks he's such a mellow and nice guy. In reality he's a tyrannical twisted human being who is inherently evil. Just plain old mean. OOPS - BACK TO POSITIVE!!!! KERSMACK!!!!
I have great people. Let me tell you about them in no particular order; (positivepositivepositive)
Babs and Roo - the most incredible kids on the earth. Kind and funny. Sweet and smart. They are - after all - just like their mother (wink wink). I am truly blessed.
Carrie B- Carrie was my room mate 12 years (almost 13) ago. She shared her family with me. I hid koolaide from her. She laughed all the time and was always up for any Liz inspired adventure - no matter how half baked the idea was. She also complemented my cooking - even if it was inedible - and we shared clothes. She never judged me and I always knew that she would be on my side. She has been. Every single time - without question. She's my backbone when I can't find mine and would be slithering around a dirty floor. (Well, okay not THAT dirty - but it could use a dust mop). She came looking for me when I was lost. She held my hand and pointed me in the right direction and always gave good advice. She also introduced me to the love of my life. Pretty good friend, hey?
Kathleen - Kathleen is the kind of wonderful friend who is always there to lend an ear. No matter what. She has a kind heart. She appreciates everything you do for her no matter how small. She would go to the ends of the earth if you needed her - lugging two kids behind her and making sure they had appropriate snacks. She is an incredible mother. She tells the truth. She stands by what she knows is right, and against what she knows is wrong. She does not waiver. She is one of the strongest people I know. She has faith in her friends and in her family. Her heart is bigger than the earth. (How does it fit in her body??!!)
Carrie L- Carrie is the best friend from highschool - jumping- in -puddles-and-eating-candy-until-you-puke kind of friend. The kind of girl that doesn't let too many people see that she has such a kind heart. She comes across as sarcastic and funny all of the time - with this tough exterior - but deep down she has angel's wings. She is easy to laugh. She has astounding wit. She is also kind of like Martha Stewart and her house is always eerily clean. Her hand soap smells delicious - but it doesn't taste that way - trust me. She is very creative. Her dog will live forever. Seriously. She is giving of herself and all that she has. She is so much fun. She also makes really good shortbread.
Taal - Taal is someone who I feel very lucky to have in my life. She is lovely. That is the word for her. She is lovely and she is kind. She gives easily of herself and her many talents. (Martini anyone?) She is a really good person. I am truly happy to hear her voice or to share her company. She is wonderful. I miss seeing her as often as I used to.
Dee - Dee is one of the most patient individuals I have ever met. I don't think I've ever seen her angry or mean. She just doesn't have it in her. She is an amazing mom. She makes terrific coffee. She is kind. She is always smiling.We can look back at all of the years we have been friends and laugh our asses of at some of the stuff we have done. She is a total sweetheart.
Mom - she is an angel. I'm convinced. If she weren't my mother, she would be my friend. She is sweet, kind, smart, beautiful, funny and an incredible cook. She has more energy than three people.
Spartan - Spartan couldn't be left out of this. He is my sweetheart, the love of my life and my very best friend. The person I want to speak to first when something good happens or when something shite happens. The first person I think of in the morning and the last at night. He has the most integrity of anyone I have ever known. He is positive and he is kind. He's also very handsome and makes me feel beautiful. He appreciates everything. His smile could light the earth up. He is intelligent. He is driven. He has a cute hiney. He really is my prince charming. I am so very happy he is in my life. I will spend the rest of my life trying to be good enough to be deserving of such an incredible, wonderful person.
Crazy Linda - She fell into my life with a laugh that could start the world laughing. She is bright, she is crazy. She is utter fun. Adorable.
There are others but for now I think I am done...
There. Now I am feeling better. Amazing how little those awful people are when you actually look at what's important. In the long run - I know that my life will end up just fine. I shouldn't get so caught up in the bullshit along the way.
Off to make dinner and I believe that some wine is in order....
Monday, December 24, 2007
I am filled with Christmas cheer (wine) and roast beast. The roast was reminiscent of the one the Flintstones eat. All these tantalizing treasures that surround us at the holidays seem to taste all the better when surrounded by family... and washing them down with a yummy pinot never hurts.
At the last minute we found out that our 85 year old neighbour was alone this evening; her husband went to Cuba. (at Christmas !?) We forced her to come for dinner. I think she enjoyed herself. She is a really sweet lady. She spent 5 years in a concentration camp. 5 years. What an incredible life. What a journey. I am so glad she was here.
The kids were wide eyed and slightly high on sugar this evening. Babs finally fell asleep after having snuck into my bed. There she was nestled in all of the pillows with her blankie wrapped about her and her bunny snuggled in beside her. I scooped her up and returned her to her bed. I almost crawled in beside her... but I had to help Santa put out the goods. Roo was asleep with a Santa hat firmly on his head with his long eyelashes gently sweeping down over his cheeks - his - almost no longer chubby - cheeks that get less baby and more little man by the day.
The evening is winding down and I am soon off to tuck myself into bed. Merry Christmas everyone! I hope Santa is good to all of you and that all of your Yuletide dreams come true.
At the last minute we found out that our 85 year old neighbour was alone this evening; her husband went to Cuba. (at Christmas !?) We forced her to come for dinner. I think she enjoyed herself. She is a really sweet lady. She spent 5 years in a concentration camp. 5 years. What an incredible life. What a journey. I am so glad she was here.
The kids were wide eyed and slightly high on sugar this evening. Babs finally fell asleep after having snuck into my bed. There she was nestled in all of the pillows with her blankie wrapped about her and her bunny snuggled in beside her. I scooped her up and returned her to her bed. I almost crawled in beside her... but I had to help Santa put out the goods. Roo was asleep with a Santa hat firmly on his head with his long eyelashes gently sweeping down over his cheeks - his - almost no longer chubby - cheeks that get less baby and more little man by the day.
The evening is winding down and I am soon off to tuck myself into bed. Merry Christmas everyone! I hope Santa is good to all of you and that all of your Yuletide dreams come true.
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