Tis the Seeazin

Last night we got jolly. We played a board game (You Know You're a Redneck If...) that had us almost weeing in our pants. I didn't win... I think that's a good thing. I did, however, get to use my new perfected redneck accent. I also learned that port is scrumptious - well... I learned it a while ago but refreshed my memory last night.

I find myself in British Columbia for these festive celebrations. I have to admit that I am quite joyful about being in Canada for the holidays. Not just here but with my loving Spartan, his family and the bestest of friends surrounding us at all times. I'm so excited I practically scream Merry Christmas at poor unsuspecting strangers that I pass throughout the day. Everything is making me sort of ridiculously happy these days. My cheeks are a bit sore from the smiling.

Now in an unrelated story; went to the hotel gym yesterday for a quick work out. There was a woman on the elliptical with hobbit type harry legs, wearing capri's in bare feet... and when she left she put on knee high rubber boots. Does this type of shit only happen around me? I felt like I was drunk only I hadn't been drinking...

Merry Christmas you guys. Stuff yourselves full of yummy goodness and hug your loved ones up tight.

Herrrro out derrrrrr

I'm baaaack. Back to bitch, whine and complain and laugh about random stuff. Sorry about the absence; life took over for a while.

So let's refresh; in the past 6 months I have, a) gotten married to the love of my existence, b) moved to an entirely different country and c) all manner of other stressful stuff.

I can't believe it's been almost half of a year since we got married! Time flies. And indeed we have been having fun. Our next little adventure takes us back up to Canadia for the holidays - huzzah. I'm getting my snow shoes all shiny. Then for some reason the fates find me heading to Detroit - of all places - to bring in the new year. I'll be with Spartan *double happy claps and a wee bit of jumping in cheerleader type fashion* Yeah. Tell me that's not something a self respecting 33 year old should be doing....

Regarding the move - there are a lot of angry people around here. I mean ANGRY. It's insane. This place is funny all of the time. Lots of the women are the super competitive "that's nice" sort - kind of southern stereotype. Pretend nice but they are really just nasty. Example:

"Miss Liz! How are you!"

"just fine! How you doing Miss Rachel?"

"Just fine! Cept I accidentally dropped a chef knife right into the top of my foot when I was making dinner... and it's still there! What did you do today?"

"That's nice! I just got back from my mani-pedi and kick boxing class despite the fact that I have two broken legs - and I ran all the way there and back. I also took my daughter - remember her? She's little Miss Alexandria - over to the school so she could receive her "Nicest Peachy Smile and Wave" Award. Then of course I volunteered at the local shelter and popped a Prime Rib in and made some fresh bread... while it was cooking I repainted the house. What did you make for dinner Miss Liz?"

"Um... I made frozen lasagna.... and I shaved my legs today."

Anyways - I've given up on attempting to fit into their mould (mould - on purpose - mold - get it - he h

e he...). Not happening. I still clean my own toilet and look hot doing it (I got a cute apron and gloves with a ruffle - no shit - it's my way of making fun of them and looking good doing it)

The schools? That's a whole other blog. I might start one. Let me just say this - they fully expect their 5 year olds to graduate kindergarten being able to read Grapes of Wrath and then write their own novel. It's a bit crazy. I know in the long run it will serve the children well. But it's a little over the top to give a 7 year old an hour of homework every night.

**If they did a study - I would bet loads of money that the prescriptions for antianxiety medicines is higher in this area than anywhere on earth. Seriously.