Friday, June 27, 2008

Summer Hooaw

The crazy night singing bird is back, waking me up at 3:00 am. Guuuurrrrrr. Something must be done. I'm thinking of setting little traps for it.

I've been a tad neglectful of the blog as of late because soccer has literally taken over my life.

I have a wee mystery to solve this morning; my hands look like they have tanning cream on them - or more specifically streaks from tanning cream - but I didn't use tanning cream. It's odd. I've racked my little brain to figure out why I have a hand tan. If Carrie lived out here, I'd think it was some kind of prank. But she hasn't had the chance to manage it so it couldn't be that... but how? Spartan and I are a united team and have agreed that future pranks will not be applied to eachother. I can't figure this out. In the meantime I will be using an s.o.s. pad to scrub em.

Reminds me, when my parents were away my mother and their friend were sitting in the cockpit of the boat and the friend (the unic) said... "Can you hear that banging...O...S...O..." What do you suppose that is? My mother shrugs. Some time later - they can still hear it and suddenly my mom says, "You don't suppose Andy is trapped in the bathroom?", the friend ponders this..."O...S...O... you don't think he is banging S.O.S do you?"... my mother goes down into the salon and the banging gets louder... she follows it to the head at the bow of the boat and sure enough - daddio is stuck in the bathroom. He'd been there for some time. He was not amused. O.S.O, what is wrong with you?

(oh yes, and since Carrie is no longer prego - prank season is back on full force this August - any devilish ideas?)

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Summer vacation

Well, Roo is officially finished all kindergarten type things. He is now in elementary school. Grade one. So now Babs - is going to be starting Jr kindergarten. Two school aged kids... I feel the stirrings of the empty nest syndrome starting... well okay. Not really. I'm actually really excited. All those years of baby stuff; diapers, toilet training, spit up and on goes the list - almost done. In between babies (lots of work) and teenagers (shiver) comes this stage - they are more independent (for instance - they can wash themselves in the tub and clean their own rooms...sort of...) and actually quite a bit of fun. High five mommy. It's strange because so many of my friends are still in various stages of babydom - including just starting families, starting over again and so on. Makes me wonder what happened to all of those years. You hear it goes too fast - but when you are right in the middle of it, it seems to go on forever. Especially toilet training.

But when you are here... and you picture what your baby girl will look like in a few short months, in pigtails, turning around to blow kisses as she gets on the bus with her little dimples - and her little hands waving goodbye (that still look like baby hands with matching dimples on her knuckles...though not for much longer ), well when you are here... your heart does constrict slightly in your chest... and the suggestion of tears appears in your eyes... and it seems like tomorrow you will be sending them out into the world to see if they will make it better and be happy people... and not need too much therapy.

It's too early for all of this reflection... I think I am going to go sit in the middle of the strawberry patch and pig out. Then maybe I'll go buy some new shoes... new shoes make everything better, don't they?

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

The apple doesn't fall far...

Boats are small(ish). My father doesn't do well in confined spaces; he seems to underestimate his size. He was covered from head to toe in bruises from banging about - two rather large lumps on his head to complete the look. My mother attempted to fly down stairs with coffee - and as she lays sprawled across the boat floor gasping for breath - my father reprimands her for spilling coffee all about the boat. (I think the second lump on his head may not have been so much from the mast...)

So while I was there, I got up to move out of my Dad's way while he was doing some cleaning. As I got up, I was crouched down and moved forward. The result was the bridge of my nose crashing into the tridata box attached to the wheel. I immediately swelled up and had a great lump upon my nose. I locked myself in the bathroom for a few minutes applying ice until my eyes stopped watering.

OOOH - but then I caught a baby duck. I was playing with them off of the back of the boat and there were 10 brand new little babies. They were so cute I couldn't help myself. They just looked so delicious - kidding. I scooped one up and triumphantly displayed the peeping little cutie pie to my family. They looked kind of stunned. The mother looked at me with patient curiosity... and continued eating the bread I had given her. Baby ducks are the cutest little things in the universe. Except for Spartan when he wakes up in the morning with his hair all askew... Anyways - even though I thought it would make a nice addition to the pond, I returned it to it's mummy. (Next time I might bring some little ribbons to adorn them with....)

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Kids are yucky...

After months of trials and tribulations, my parents have finally returned their lovely sail boat home. I have to admit that I am kind of excited at the prospect of sailing once again; it's been many years. And what a way to return to it; a 40 foot boat complete with lots of places to sun myself and get a suntan.

Yesterday, I took the kids to see it. They love it, of course. Babs was like a little monkey; I imagine they will have her up in the rigging in no time. I can't wait to teach them how to sail a boat. It's so much fun.

I decided to leave the Babs there while I returned home to await Roo's bus and then returned there with him as well. They enjoyed their visit and it was hard to get them to leave. I eventually got them home; full of cheesies and hot dogs - not our usual dinner items by far but since the boat it limited as of yet it was all there was.

They were exhausted after all of the excitement (Babs spotted Nemo in the water near the docks) and they went to bed without a peep. I followed not long afterwards. At 1:30 am I awoke to shrieking of the *death is imminent variety* - I leapt from the bed fully prepared to open up a can of ninja on whatever was causing Babs to scream. When I entered her room she was sobbing hysterically. When I reached for her I was swiftly covered in hot baby sick.

This is the best part of parenting. It prepares you for things you never thought you could stomach. (Pun intended.) But despite that fact - even whilst covered in sick, you must still manage to soothe the poor patient and assure her that the beloved bunny will be right as rain after a short run around the washing machine.

I stripped the bed, stuffed animals, pillows and clothing and remade it all in record time. I cleaned her little face and had her rinse out her mouth, returned her to bed and bent down to bestow a wee kiss upon her little tear stained face - and realized that her hair was full of vomit... a trip back to the bathroom - a stiffled gag - and a shampoo in the sink and she was finally clean. I, however, still had to strip my clothes and bleach myself from head to foot to get rid of the smell ... since at that point if I caught a whiff of it I would surely vomit myself...

I love kids, they fill life with all kinds of smiles and laughter - but also with the occasional throw up... kids are cute, but yucky.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Playing catch up...

For those of you who may not have been around from the beginning - a little collection...

Old posts... near the beginning... I did a Marzipan babies post. Featuring a soul searching discussion pertaining to cannibalism...

Then I moved onto making fun out of horrid holiday celebrations - that as I recall left me in all actuality feeling lonely and sad - but I found the fun. Lucky for me this was the last holiday with these tree dwellers (or cave dwellers, really).

I went to see my friend - it helped me remember who I was and made me smile about it. It was that vacation that made me realize I was losing a bit of who I was, and missed myself too much to let it continue.

I remembered some soul searching. I shared it with you.

I turned 30. This was tough for me. I was soon to be single and 30...

I finally knew that I was going to be okay.

I also managed to get mad!

I dreamed of a magical tent in the woods - which almost a year later to the day I would actually be inside of - falling in love with Spartan! Life is such a funny thing.

I came to terms with being single again after 10 years... more bachelors... and yet more...
and even weddings. This blog has been there for my closest friend's nuptials as well as my brother's.

And then finally a new home.

Until finally the paradigm shift. (meeting my love)

Which brings us to 2008.

I love the journey thus far....

Don't worry - I'll post something new very soon ;-)

Wednesday, June 18, 2008


It has taken over my life... lol.

This is my place to go, that is always my own. I use it to vent, to laugh and yes, even to feel loved. It is a very important place for me. You are all very important to me. So, to you - all of you - I say thank you from the bottom of my heart; Thank you for coming here everyday and listening to all of my ramblings. This blog was here years ago through my divorce - from beginning to end - most of you without knowing it was happening because this was my escape... but more than once it provided a smile when my face was literally starving for them. This blog and you, my blogdom, have also been here to witness the past year, where I found my Spartan... and you have all helped me to get through the missing him and the looking forward to seeing him. I love being able to share my joy. Even after an entire year - it still feels like a dream. You have all been happy and excited for me - and it means the world to me. It really does.

Just thought I'd let you know. You are all very much appreciated and though I have met very few of you, are all considered friends.

Now...seeing as how I just waxed away a good portion of my eyebrow... I'm off in search of an eyeliner to disguise it before I venture out to be a soccer mom for what feels like the umpteenth time this week...

Have a wonderful morning/evening/night - wherever these words find you in the world...

Monday, June 16, 2008

I debated sharing this story... but what the heck. You guys already know what a spaz I am.

One evening hanging out in our room... after a bit of wine... a lot of wine maybe... we were getting ready to go out for dinner and suddenly - I was inspired to give Spartan a "sexy dance" by this song. (I was hitting on him). You know - keeping things fun. Or... funny as it happened.

Part way through the dance, which was very good - if I do say so myself (I got quite into it), I tripped over my own feet and went careening across the room.*

Starts out sexy as hell (or my attempt at it) and ends in a sheepish grin. I think I do "cute" not "sexy". I'll have to try to remember that. But I have to tell you - it was quite an empowering feeling there for the first few minutes... you know, before the "me" spilled out. You should give it a try ladies... ;-)

* Spartan was kind enough to tell me he thought I did it on purpose to emulate True Lies... wish I'd thought of that before the furious blushing kicked in. It did make me feel better though. ;-)

Friday, June 13, 2008

I've just returned from seeing the new Indiana Jones movie.

My theory is this - if you are a fan of Indy - you will see this movie regardless of what the critics suggest or, what my humble synopsis of this movie will be.

I've mixed feelings about it, but in the end I have to say that I just love Indiana Jones. *side note - bright light of an ex thought this movie might be appropriate for a 4 year old and 6 year old to see... this clearly explains that people should require a license prior to being allowed to parent...* I have to admit that second I heard the song - It reminded me of that feeling I had when I watched the first three films. You know, that urge to seek out adventure, travel to far off places to unravel riddles and solve puzzles, overcome fears of creepy crawlies and have a romantic encounter (but of course, that encounter would be with my own man of adventure; Spartan - he'd be one hell of a sexy Indiana Jones *pause for fantasy*) while beating away evil and coming out victorious.

It was, predictable and the plot line was kind of silly - but that is what makes it Indiana Jones after all. It's not like Raiders of the Lost Ark had an anymore believable story line in a way... I won't spoil it. There was a fantastic line at the end that went something like this, "How much of our lives are wasted waiting." Too true.

I did also recently see Prince Caspian and the Chronicles of Narnia - and I must admit that I feared that even this might be too old for my kids, but in the end I opted to take them to it and they both rather enjoyed it. I loved it. I especially loved this song. I've been playing it over and over again for days.

Movies. The way to lose yourself for a few hours and go somewhere entirely different. Sometimes that is just what you need and is why I love them so very much.

Now, there is a huge thunder storm rumbling around my house and I am sipping a delightfully strong rum and pineapple juice. I think it might be prudent to turn off the computer *gasp* until it passes and pay full attention to this delightful beverage... and daydream about... well you can all imagine who ;-)

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Thwamping Lettuce and Other Foibles...

Feeling adventurous, Spartan and I asked our friendly cab driver if there was a restaurant he might recommend. He very promptly and excitedly said yes, that indeed there was and he could make a reservation right now - he went on to insist that if we didn't love the food he would foot the bill.

We arrived at this quirky place, filled with interesting and unique wall decor -such as the coveted plastic vegetable wall arrangement including a large plastic lettuce. So. Not. Kidding. All joking aside, it was obvious that they had worked very hard to create a nice environment.

When we first sat down, I told Spartan that I myself have many times considered slapping Babs toy plastic food on the wall - voila! - instant art. We chuckled a bit and ordered some wine.

The wine was brought and the waiter went about trying to uncork it. Both Spartan and I surmised very quickly that it was a twist off top but - we very subtly looked the other way while he spent about 10 minutes trying to uncork it. Once he figured it out - we acted as though we hadn't a clue what had transpired and ordered our dinner.

Dinner arrived and each plate contained enough food to have fed a family of 4. We have no idea how the people who live there aren't all well over 300 pounds. It was delicious!

Part way through the meal - and all the way through the bottle of wine - I was trying to describe how a snorkel worked using my fork to aid the illustration. When I did this - I accidentally forked the wall lettuce thereby dislodging it and send it careening into my head.

At this point - we couldn't contain our laughter. I pointed out to Spartan that - he picked me... because of my specialness. I very quickly returned the wall lettuce to it's place in the arrangement, fixed my hair and acted as though nothing out of the ordinary had occurred....

Then, I went to the bathroom. (All it needed to spruce it up was some wall lettuce) Let me give to you, my dear bloggers, an illustration of that adventure;

It was fantastic. The food was amazing, the laughter was ridiculous and the company was enchanting. I hope we get to go back there one day... and that perhaps I don't have need of the facilities ;-)

Wednesday, June 11, 2008


There were so many funny and happy and wonderful things about this trip that it is hard to know where to begin.

We got there and it was dark already, we stopped to have a Pina Colada and met our first of the inhabitants of the island; a little crab who lived in the rocks beside the pool.The next day when we woke up, I opened up the curtains and right there in front of me was paradise. I wandered around for a bit with my hands out in front of me expecting the bubble to burst - but it didn't. So I ventured forth. I was in search of coffee but somehow ended up playing in a tide pool and catching baby goby fish in a cup - which I had to run back and show Spartan and explain why I hadn't found the coffee just yet. I went to return the wee fishies and was nearly attacked by a moray eel who had made his home right there in the tide pool - I was about an inch away from him before I leapt backwards. I might add - not really usual to find them there. Anyhoo, I eventually found coffee and we began day one of our daily rituals of sitting on the patio feeding lizards and birds. Did you know that lizards are a fan of pastry? Yogurt? It was so much fun.

Spartan had never before experienced the underwater world of the ocean so we had planned to get him out snorkeling. He got used to the idea lightening fast and out we ventured. It was amazing. He was a natural. We saw so many incredible fish and coral. He turned into a merman; I couldn't get him to leave the water. It was great.

There were hardly any other people there and we had the entire beach to ourselves for an entire day. We also had this incredible dinner at the hotel restaurant and there was only three other people in the entire place. The food was amazing and - well - the company couldn't have been better. I kept thinking... I am sitting in paradise with the handsomest most wonderful man in the world ---- but in the end I didn't have to pinch myself to see if it was real.... read on...

One day, I decided we should have an adventure. We rented a car and drove to a beach that was known for being really amazing snorkeling. It was in a cove so the water was calm, the day was perfect. Despite all odds, we managed to find our way to the beach. The directions were like this;

Drive up to the end of left and turn left. You will pass a store and keep driving. Go 3/4 of the traffic loop. You will pass windmills. (etc. etc. It went on and on - all nonsensical with no road signs at all and ended with -- ) When you see sun bon bini beach abao follow that road.

It took us all the way to the other side of the island. Somehow Spartan used his spidy senses to track down the spot we were supposed to be - I'll never really understand how he did it.

Once we got there we prepared to jump into the water. When I got about thigh deep - I yelped "Ouch! Something bit me!"

Spartan gave me one of those "very funny" looks.

I said, "No. Really. Something did." But I didn't seem to be losing blood or anything so in we went. I kept feeling little pinches. Some of them down right painful. I thought maybe I was having some kind of reaction to the sun lotion I was wearing. But after about twenty minutes, I couldn't take it anymore. I looked up at Spartan. He looked at me. He had this slightly concerned expression. I checked. He was feeling it too. Maybe we should get the hell out of the water. We exited quickly. Once we got onto the beach, I looked down at my arm. It was covered in rapidly worsening welts almost like bee stings. Spartan too. Lovely.

Just what you want on your first romantic beach get away together. We work out and tan, find the perfect james bondesque girl bathing suit and try to look your best only to be descended upon by an army of tiny stinging almost microscopic parasitic creatures that make you look like you were attacked by a hive of bees or contracted chicken pox. The best bit was, nobody spoke english so we really hadn't a clue what was going on. We did, however, manage to ascertain that we would not die and they would go away eventually. It was like listening to broken dutch with the odd english word thrown in for good measure, such as "venom" and "worm". We were also advised to find something for the itch that may happen later. Mmmmmmk. This isn't a picture of us, but this is a picture I found on the Internet of someone who went through the same thing...

Evidently, they are the larvae of tiny jelly fish or sea anemones. High five! Liz will no longer be in charge of planning day trips on our little adventures.

It was a good test, however. I now know that Spartan remains calm at all times and was fully prepared to pee on me if I asked him to. If that's not true love, what is? (it neutralizes the venom)

So, now... I have hit the brick wall of reality full force. I am home. I miss Spartan. The best part of the entire week really wasn't where I was - it was really who I was with. I've certainly never felt that way before about a vacation.
Tomorrow - I will fully explain the wall lettuce confrontation. It WAS lettuce and indeed it WAS on a wall... which eventually came sailing down and thwapped me in the head during our dinner experience... which in and of itself was filled with fun. You can dress me up...

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

I'm back. What a surreal dream that was!

It went so fast. I can't believe it's over already. I feel sort of all happy and sad rolled into one.

There were some hysterical moments - one of them featuring a sea creature attack and also... an unprecedented wall lettuce confrontation. We made friends with lizards and birds and a little crab... *I pinch* *little pinch?* Details will follow... as soon as I

stop feeling sea sick and my heart ache eases slightly from having to say goodbye to my love.

Hope you all have been up to no good and I look forward to catching up with you guys soon.

Also!!!! Mine and Spartan's goddaughter is on her way into the world --- finally!!! Woo Hoo!