Friday, July 22, 2011

Hotter than hades

I type this sitting in a bucket of tepid water. This - in a vain attempt to remain cool. It is so hot. Attempted to golf last week and lost 70 pounds in water weight. (ok maybe a I exaggerate). People get strange in the heat... though I suspect they may have been strange before as well - the heat just really brings it out. Was packing my groceries into the back of my car the other day and a man (who I thought I was being paranoid but appeared to be stalking me in the produce aisle) waiting for me in the parking lot - drove up behind me and here is the conversation;
"Excuse me?" man says politely while pulling up behind me in a truck he must have borrowed from Roddy Piper.

I turn around suspecting someone is about to ask for directions, "Yes?"

"I saw you inside and I just wanted to tell you..."

At this point I imagine he is going to say something like - you have toilet paper on your shoe...but wait...

"...that you have an INCREDIBLE BODY." Then he just nodded at me as though this was a perfectly appropriate thing to say to a perfect stranger. At which point I decided maybe he was going to tell me I had toilet paper on my shoe and chickened out so I checked anyways. Didn't see toilet paper --- odd...

As he drove off he emphasized "Absolutely amazing."

I was torn between being strangely flattered/offended and feeling a need to shower.

Who does that to a stranger?!

3 comments:

BettyZade said...

That IS a little grungy! Look at it this way, though: he could have taken you picture and posted it on People of WalMart. So at least you're not at the other end of the spectrum! lol

elizabeth said...

lmao!

I love it

Stace said...

*rofl* That is equally hilarious and disturbing!!