Sunday, October 08, 2006

Sorry my computer was broken...

But I'm back now.

Some tidbits for you...

Last night something - raccoons?- ate my precious fish. None but scales left of them now. Take a moment of silence please - these fish were painstakingly kept alive for years. Now they are digesting inside of some furry little creature.

While my fish were being murdered, I was at Carrie's house giving her a birthday present and celebrating her big 30 with a few cocktails. We were a wee bit giddy and I convinced Carrie and Patrick that it was a good idea to call his neighbour using the Howard Stern soundboard. It was good times. I, not surprisingly, took the computer and Carrie dialed the phone. From there, Patrick and Carrie took their posts - curled up on the floor clutching their guts with laughter. Who knew that being so juvenile could be so much fun?

If you haven't attempted this, I urge you to do it tonight. As I said to the two of them, you will be so glad you did. Then you have to come back here and let us know how it went. By the way, no one should be safe, parents are good victims too but I would suggest the Mr Rogers soundboard for them (especially if they have a cat). Some of you remember when I did that to my father - and those of you who know him know just how funny that was...

....and now a wee contest...
Going to Whistler in 10 days. It is for a stagette for the girl who posts as Carrie in BC. I need ideas to embarrass my friend. If anyone has some - please let me know. The more embarrassing the better! You can email these to me, if I use your idea - you will receive a free funnygirlfromcanada magnet. Because, who doesn't want one of those? Make sure to include your mailing address in the email so that if you win I can send you your prize.

Last week was fun, took my cat to the vet to cut her fingers off. Well - that and have her dewormed and de-earmited and given a rabies shot. Yes, I know. It's cruel. I only did it because she has been living in a cage for over a year at a shelter and doesn't seem to want to stop destroying my wool throw rugs - and any other furniture that crosses her cute little path. She's a scratchaholic and I can't seem to retrain her - so I took the next natural step and had her tortured. Poor little poppet. I did, at least secure painkillers for her to take for the next week or so. She doesn't even seem to know that anything happened to her, cats are so stoic. Anyhoo - she did her part at getting me back, during the car ride home she peed on my lap. Nice. Guess I deserved it. I have a history with cats doing that to me. Back in highschool, I found a stray and decided to take it to school in the hopes that someone would adopt it. Since I was riding the bus, I tucked the little monkey into my backpack and was holding it on my lap. Suddenly a warm sensation indicated that perhaps I should have left the cat at home. I called my mother from school and ask that she bring me a change of clothes. When she stopped laughing, she did. Thank god. Long story shortened - kept the cat in the drama room and someone finally said they would take it. Woo hoo.

Well - hope you all enjoy Thanksgiving (in Canada) and otherwise just have a nice weekend!

6 comments:

Joe the Troll said...

I had a little scratch monster that I declawed and fixed. I was told that it was cruel, but she lived the posh life for all of her 16 years, and didn't seem to mind that a bit.

Green Fish said...

Sorry about the fish. If it is of any comfort, I hear that a raccoon's colon is both warm and spacious. It is considered to be the "Artists Loft" of small animal backsides. The back door of a ground squirrel on the other hand is a mere "tradesman's entrance" by comparison.

Elohelae said...

green fish I am in awe of your racoon colon knowledge....

As for the declaw... again... awesome... cats are so funny after it is done

I do beleive that the best pratical jokes are done from opportunity and get adapted to the surroudings of where someone lives. Spur of the moment stuff. Happy hunting

Anonymous said...

We had our cat de-clawed maybe five years ago, and when the vet gave her back to us, she was a fucking mess...blood all over her paws and shit...

Anyway, I don't think I'll be de-clawing another cat anytime soon...

I'll just get them after someone else has done it. ;)

Steve~

Kat said...

Liz, you and your highschool animal stories...they're an entire book of their own! I think I loved your rats the most ;o)

elizabeth said...

joe - phew. Glad I'm not the only one

fish - your mind is a scary and awesome place

lola - come on! Ideas, I need em.

Steve - that sounds bad. No blood here. Thank god - or I'd have felt much worse.

Kat - Yeah... my poor little Cindy and Smudge - may they rest in peace.

PS - I'm underwhelmed with the response to my contest