Wednesday, November 21, 2007

The Diva has tagged me... so here it is....

The Rules:

  • Write a list of things of which you are suspicious. Any number of them will do. Even the number 0 works. This is the first meme that can be done without even doing it. In fact, you're doing it right now.
  • Include the list of rules, if you feel like it.
  • Link back to the person who tagged you. Or not.
  • Tag however many people you want to tag. You can skip this step.
  • If you acted on rule four, leave comments on their websites to let them know that they have been tagged. This step is also completely optional.
  • Feel fantastic.
What makes me suspicious?? in no particular order:

1. When I am at the tanning salon I am sure they hide cameras in the vents in the ceiling. There are probably naked pictures of me all over the net because of this.

2. People whom I don't know who are overtly friendly. Why? What do you want... where's my wallet? Who sent you?! Where's my tinfoil hat??!!

3. ANYONE who takes a job dressing up in those character costumes. (Barney, Chucky Cheese). This screams CREEPY.

4. Non fat desserts. This is too much of a dichotomy for my little brain to handle.

5. You know when you're at the grocery store and the same person just keeps passing you OVER AND OVER again. More than just a couple of times - even when you try to mess them up by going back over areas that you've already been together and shazzam - they appear again. They are spies for some religious cult - I'm convinced of it.

6. People who offer up their spot in a line up. Why? Did you hear the 100th shopper was going to win something? No thanks. I'll stay right here and continue reading the grocery store smut whilst I wait to win my free shopping spree.

7. People who breed earthworms in their basement. Seriously.

8. Anyone who hates Christmas. (Unless they don't celebrate it - then they are exempt). But really - there isn't a more feel good holiday in existence. If you hate Christmas you might as well hate Bambi and hot chocolate.

9. People who choose fruit and veggies without performing the squeeze and sniff tests. Might as well buy a car without test driving it.

10. Carnies. Small hands. Smell like cabbage.

Now I tag Badger Daddio, Earl, Kitty Kat, and Beth.


badgerdaddy said...

It's done, dude. It may even win me a Pulitzer. If they come up with a new category for shitness, that is.

B.E. Earl said...

Hey no fair! Diva already tagged me with this one.

No second tagsies!

i am the diva said...

Non fat desserts?? made by robots i tells ya!

and that person in the grocery store is me, i just don't know how to say hello...i'm shy...

do you ACTUALLY KNOW someone who breeds earthworms in their basement? how does one go about breeding an earthworm? Does it involve cutting them in half? i don't understand....

thanks for playing!

elizabeth said...

Yeah. I met a guy once and we went out for dinner. At that meal he mentioned that he attempted an earthworm breeding program in his basement. (first and last date)

My understanding of how earthworms breed is that they tie themselves up in a little knot and get all covered in goo - and the goo contains eggs and sperm and then the goo hardens up and in the spring - tada baby earthworms. They survive the winter and the parents die in the cold. Gross.

elizabeth said...

PS - sorry earl. We just all love you so much it couldn't be helped is all.