Adventures... and a train.

I am going on an adventure by train next Friday. I am excited. I'm tempted to dress up like the characters in White Christmas - when they were on the train to Vermont. But - it is pretty likely I would die of heat exhaustion.

I had my cholesterol tested for the first time a week ago. Made me feel old. I was kind of surprised to see it was 200. I eat super healthy and work out all the time - plus I'm not overweight. HDL was 94, LDL was 93 and triglycerides were 63. I think I would already have high cholesterol if I had a different lifestyle. That freaks me out. I fully intend to live forever. Lucky for me my blood pressure is 100 over 70. I'm sure that will buy me a year or two.

Going to see Sex in the City movie this afternoon. Going to order nachos with cheese... I hear they do wonders for cholesterol...

Health returns

I'm finally feeling better.

Anyone here watch Cougar Town? Love that show.

Anyone here eat at Chipotle's? Love that place.

Anyone here ever see this picture. Love kids.

srsly?

Day two

Feel like I'm running the sick bay on the Star Trek Enterprise and you are the ship's log. Yes. The cold meds are that good. The only drawback is - I keep thinking that the laundry room is the holodeck and it's malfunctioning.

Babs has ceased puking and is now found in various rooms on the floor asleep. Spartan is getting my cold because I suck. Roo is the only healthy one thus far. I think I might make him captain.

Sick comes in waves...

....much like nausea.

Last week Babs had a runny nose. This week - the day after my annual physical ---- which is never a highlight ----- I came down with a cold that had me on my ass for two straight days. I'm still kind of green and my head is all floaty. Which is kind of nice compared to the previous two days... but then...

- the kids biodad came to spend the weekend with them which is lovely but- he had the flu. He had the flu and then after three days with the kids Babs puked in the back of his new car. He has to drive 6 or 7 hours home. Shheeeesh. Not the fun weekend he had in mind...

Just returned from holding back the wee Babbies hair while she hurled yet again into a bucket.

She just quietly finished and said... "...guess the medicine didn't work..."

Guess not.

She's finally asleep for a wee nap.

The final icing on the cake if you will; just had the carpets Oxicleaned yesterday. *SIGH*

Oh the universe and its sense of humor. Never ceases to amaze me.

Oh yes - and did I mention that Spartan finally came home from a long road trip to find us in this extreme situation? Yep. *SIGH*

Might I have abandoned you too long?

Getting married, moving and all manner of drama. Forgive me and please come back...

Bedazzler be damned....

Instead Va-jazzled?

There is a place that bedazzles your nether regions...

New York City’s Completely Bare Spa, as a post-waxing add-on service (only because it would get a bit ick with all the hair and such...). An esthetician decorates your newly waxed private bits with Swarovski crystals.... with what I'm not sure. Crazy glue perhaps. (?) Hot glue gun? I'm thinking after a bikini wax you wouldn't even think it hurts.

Completely bare... with a flare.

I might bedazzle my hoo hoo with a sparkly portrait of spartan for our anniversary... or maybe just a great big heart with our initials in it...

Seriously people... what are you thinking. I wanna know.

Am I Cursed?

Ever feel like a walking train wreck? My husband deserves a medal for being married to me. I decided to wash his precious car and managed to scratch the shit out of the hood. Millions of tiny little scratches on black paint - looks like a cloud.

It took me nearly a week and many missed hours of sleep to admit my mistake. He had already seen it. He wasn't mad. He laughed at me and said "We'll get it fixed, you meant well."

Now I feel worse. I think I would have felt (temporarily) better if he had just yelled at me and told me I was an idiot. As it stands I have done that repeatedly to myself in the mirror since I messed up.

In other stories - I had a kiddy bday party the other day for my daughter. I took millions of kindergarteners to a movie and dinner. (Okay - maybe only 6 kids but... it felt like far more.) One of them bitched, whined, complained and cried the entire time (thank god that one didn't belong to me). Statements like, "I hate this movie - it's boring. I wanna go home. I don't want gummies I WANT CHOCOLATE!..." All of these statements delivered with a sour or angry crying face. But then miraculously when her mother appeared she sprouted wings and an angelic face to match. That child is the devil - I swear. If she ever comes to another party I will bring chocolate for everyone but her.

Helloooooooooooooooo

Okay people... I think I have settled enough into a routine now that the 'routine blogging" in my head can start appearing here again. I debated ending the blog but I can't say goodbye to you guys... your like some demented online family presence to me. I talk to you in my head. So you might still be stuck with me.

My wonderful magical prince of a hubby and I have been moved in and living in the U S of A for nearly 9 months now. I still get occasionally called out for the manner in which I evidently pronounce "sorry" but otherwise I can usually pass for one of the natives.... not like Native Americans but like a native American.... that seems redundant and confusing. Not that it would be bad to be mistaken for a Native American! I'm rambling. (When I say it in my head with the emphasis places just so - it makes sense... promise.)

I have been to many new places since we moved; Detroit, New York City (loved it), Philly, New Jersey and Wegmans. I'm starting to really have fun - as are the short people.

I have yet to go to lunch with the Obamas - but I'm sure the invitation is in the mail.

My sweetheart has planned some exciting adventures for the summer - so I'm busy trying to get back into bikini shape (damn you Wegmans). I don't know if you guys remember when I started running (like Frankensteins monster) or if you were still around when I reached my own tiny goal of running a mile nonstop? I'm now running 5K a few times a week... nonstop ;-) I am still trying to suppress the urge to run with my arms out in front of me.

Now that we are all caught up I've got to go do something useful.

Missed you guys.

WTF CVS??!!

I went into the CVS Pharmacy the other day to find a hair gel called Dippity Doo. Despite the name being kind of lame - it has been around for a thousand years. Everyone has heard of it. Except the guy working at CVS. (also for added reality in your imaginings the gentleman had a thick east indian accent - so imagine it up);

"Hi, do you guys carry the brand of gel 'Dippity Doo'?"

Shocked stare and then, "Pardon me madam?"

"You know Dip-pit-y DOO?" ...friendly patient smile "...do you guys have that brand?"

A more shocked stare... "I think it is in the feminine hygiene aisle..."

Then I returned his shocked stare.

Seriously - WTF?! I mean - come on. That's just disgusting. Imagine what he thought I must have been looking for? Whatever would a woman find in the feminine hygiene aisle with a name like that? I don't think I will be going back to CVS.