Thursday, April 28, 2011

Potty mouth, tornados and the royal weddedness

I've been swearing a lot lately. Not sure why...not sure I'm going to do anything about it. Just thought I'd recognize it. Put it out there.. own it. Fucking embrace it.

Bad weather. Tornados and thunder storms all around me. The entire east coast looks like when the gates of hell opened in ghost busters. (Is that what was happening? You know with all the swirly dark clouds and such.) The kind that touch down and steal your livestock - or your kids. (Which is funny because we got an email from the school urging us to walk our kids to the bus because of the weather - which makes me object on many levels...and I was like hell no I'm not getting swept away too!! I'm kidding. I thought that... but I still went....)

Anyways - in light of the storms I thought the best thing to do would be to talk on the phone, run a bath and type a post on my computer. At the same exact time. All three things would make my mother keel over directly. All three things done together will clearly make her head explode. She has been convinced for her entire life that the lightening will come through the pipes and the phone and cook your brain. I'm sure the computer is the same since it is on our list of storm no-no's.
When I was a kid she would usher us into her make shift bunker beneath the basement stairs. If you think tornados scare you mom, I blame your fear of them for my fear of spiders and small places. It isn't like the woman ever experienced a traumatic event personally from a storm... you could say I did since my childhood kitty was killed by lightening - but not her. She freaks the second she thinks a storm is coming to this day. She watches the weather channel for hours on end to make sure she is on it. She is like the opposite of the storm chaser. She will point at a fluffy white cloud in a blue sky and announce that it doesn't look right... that it looks like a tornado cloud... and then spend a ridiculous amount of time staring it down.
I have to wake up at 4 am to watch Prince Wills marry Katherine. I dvr'd just in case I drink myself into a coma before bed - well you know in celebration and such. LOOK - I'm Canadian and that means that he is going to be my King... so it is my duty to celebrate. I can't wait to see what she wears and her hair, what he wears, so swoon romantic! Weddings! Princes! Carriages... etc. Sadly my very own Prince Charming is trying to fly home but is trapped where he is because of the weather (I stopped myself from swearing just then... don't want to overdo it...). Hope he gets home so I can tuck my feet up under him at bed and gaze adoringly at him as I fall asleep.... (in my wedding dress... lol)

*bonus* Last week I had a dream that I commissioned a painting of my Spartan on the ceiling of our bedroom. Then I woke up and was like, "wtf?" and then eventually came round to thinking it might be a good idea... which would be waaaay creepier if we had just started dating or something. Just saying. Not exactly normal when it's your husband but less creepy... right? Maybe a little? HMMM?


elizabeth said...

update - spartan appears to be coming home after all... but I wont hold my breath for plane to land... you can though! ;-)

AVY said...

Wedding dresses, mm. Happy times.

/ Avy