Thursday, August 03, 2006

I look like a ferengi...

I am maimed. I look like I was in a bar brawl. Funnily enough, the damage was caused by my monstrous little cherub.

I made the kids french toast for dinner - complete with fruit and a mini go. It is my daughter's greatest ambition to eat as little as possible so - while I was trying to convince her that french toast is the food of the gods - she busied herself trying to escape. This escape attempt was a combination of slapping her hands over her mouth and wiggling her entire body. This is normal behavior. But then - just to spice it up a bit she decided to jump up and run away. I was standing over her at the time. Her head collided with my face in an earth shattering crack. She made contact with my cheekbone, directly below my right eye -- and while I was reeling she was laughing. I did not know that you could get a goose egg on your cheek bone. Now I know. I looked like something out of Startrek.
I looked in the mirror and thought - this is one of those things that looks really bad right now but most assuredly by tomorrow it will be gone... right? WRONG.
I looked in the mirror this morning and all that escaped me was a whimper. Looking back at me was something hideous to behold. I have a full on black eye. To add insult to injury, the thunderstorm that graced us last night kept both the kids awake = kept me awake. So not only do I look like I've been beaten - I have puffy red rimmed eyes to boot.
Oh, the joys of motherhood.

12 comments:

Slyde said...

i bet you still look cute :)

Kat said...

Yes slyde...Liz is always cute :o)

badgerdaddy said...

*ahem* Pictures, please?

funchilde said...

17 more reasons why i should remain child-free. just when i was feelin' all domestic (not!). seriously though, sorry you got hockey checked, your daughter will eat when she grows into her wwf wrestling future.

elizabeth said...

Thanks Kat.

Not a snowballs chance in hell badge.

f/c - no kidding. You should have seen the looks I got at the grocery store today. I think I made it look worse by trying to cover it up... ah well.

Elizabeth McClung said...

That's really sad - but on the other hand - there is something really scary to most guys about wounds on women - so you can total cop an attitude if you want for the next few days. Maybe it's me, but I actually get sadistic pleasure out of a few "Oh my god!" - have you thought about taking an extended trip to see all your relations now or your mother. See, you can either play it with the: "Yeah, I need some TLC, come buy me $50 of stuff and a free lunch" to your relations or when they go, "Look at you." - you laugh and go, "Cool, huh." which gets you off thier Christmas letter list.

Seriously, hope things get better.

elizabeth said...

Hoots of laughter. I should do as you suggest, milk it or creep people out. I'm not sure why but the creeping people out appeals to me right now.

Worst part was how surprised people seemed when I looked them in the eye whilst they were oggling my owie. Like they expect I shouldn't be able to meet their gaze. IF I had been beaten - I sure as hell wouldn't have any reason not to hold MY head high. Odd.

Carrie in BC said...

Hey maybe you look like Taylor when she did her dive into the side of the bed and we called har a Klingon..can we call you a Klingon?

elizabeth said...

Works for me. (that was awful - poor Taylor)

Cap'n Dyke said...

HRH/NPM Buttercup, ye tell your deck-monkeys that this Pirate Queen tends t'walk children off th'plank that bonk their mothers in th'face an'make 'em look like Ferengis. Still, I bet ye look mighty fierce! ;)

elizabeth said...

Oh, the plank might be a good thing to have around here - never thought of that before. Oh - and yes I do look mighty fierce... or mighty ridiculous...depends on the angle. lol.

Cap'n Dyke said...

Tell 'em I have a plank just their size. It's right below th'poop deck. Just for deck-monkeys. That bonk their mothers in th'face. Yeah. That.