Friday, August 11, 2006

Internet Dating Time Again...



Bachelor number One

This is Moses. He is a catch in every way. Moses is currently trying to choose between a full time sperm donation man and that guy that cleans up road kill. (He collects roadkill - smatterofact - his creative self is making a quilt from the little buggers as a gift for his perfect love!) His idea of a perfect date involves crying, skipping and a flobee. He looks forward to showing you his scab collection. Don't miss out on this hunka hunka burnin love.

Bachelor number 2

This is Cro Magnon. Cro enjoys the polka and is currently perfecting his skillz as a rapper. Cro likes to write poetry and pick blackberries (at night -- naked). A romantic at heart he looks forward to stalking you to demonstrate his devotion. His ideal lady is into the old fashioned kind of wooing (like clubbing women over the head) and self flagellation. He likes to giggle and play "tickle". Cro currently shares a one bedroom apartment with his Mother and his Uncle Daddy. Someday he hopes to venture out on his own - or maybe live with you, his special lady...

Bachelor Number 3

This is Tommy. Tommy considers himself an ultrafine example of manhood. He enjoys the finer things in life - like boxed wine. Tommy is an award winning spam sculpture artist. (Two favorites are his scale model of the Tajmahal and a portrait of Dubya Bush. Very impressive) He is also convinced that the secrets to the universe are hidden in cheesedoodles.

12 comments:

B.E. Earl said...

C'mon...cheesedoodles. The secrets of the universe are hiding in those trunks, Tommy! Ooohgaah.

PS - how soon before Slyde posts something about you finally finding a picture of me on the internet? His humor is sooo obvious.

Kat said...

Bachelor #2- For sure that's a prison shot...must be earl. The scratches are killing me! WTF!!

Elizabeth McClung said...

I totally take bachelor number 2 - because A) he's not as creepy as the guys currently stalking me and b) he looks willing to take a plate glass window to the face to protect me - in fact that might be our first date. "Run through that window! Good boy!" See, I think scars show character and this is definately IS a character.

Kat said...

elizabeth- way too funny...love is broken plate glass stuck in your face LOL!! You should start your own card company...

Liz- that's it! Greeting Cards!

Joe_the_Troll said...

Throw some straw on #1 and he'd look just like the scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz.

elizabeth said...

Kat - yeah. Let's work on that.

Joe - OMG you're right. Creepy.

elizabeth said...

Yeah, number 2. (hahaha, I said number 2)

badgerdaddy said...

Ah fuck. I share characteristics with all of them. I have number one's smile, number two's mass of forehead (sans cuts) and number three's dress sense.

Damn me!

Worth it for the wv though: wbots

elizabeth said...

Could be worse, you could have number one's hair, number two's brow and number three's posture.

(nice to see you out of hiding badger)

speed_demon said...

You are NOT serious, are you?

elizabeth said...

Welcome Speed_demon - oh yes. Deadly serious. You don't care for my selection?

"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti."
(Hannibal)

Slyde said...

wow! You finally found a picture of Earl!

Sorry i chimed in so late!