Thursday, November 23, 2006

Explain to me why tanning is never easy? Every part of my person has spent the same amount of time in a tanning bed in preparation for the beach. Why is it, then, that my stomach is about 20 shades darker than the rest of me? Splain it. Go on, dare you. One nice side effect, however, is the illusion of stomach muscles. I have an illusionary 4 pack. (I think that perhaps that didn't sound very complimentary...)

While I'm here I'd also like to complain about people. Not anyone in particular, I'd just like to lodge a general complaint at people... generally.

17 comments:

Mark said...

"Tanning is never easy"

Maybe you need to get someone to do it for you:


http://images.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://www.tanneryshop.com/files/mvc_315s.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.tanneryshop.com/NOC.html&h=480&w=640&sz=26&hl=en&start=115&tbnid=AIJpyURPE9I99M:&tbnh=103&tbnw=137&prev=/images%3Fq%3DTanning%2BHides%26start%3D100%26ndsp%3D20%26svnum%3D10%26hl%3Den%26lr%3D%26sa%3DN

;o)>

Anonymous said...

Can't really answer that question until I see photos of every area in question. ;)

elizabeth said...

Mark - very amusing.

Dan - nice try. But after many many drinks in the Dominican - you can never tell what may (or may not) end up being posted!

Kat said...

liz- take me to this tanning bed when I'm no longer pregant. If you can turn my stomach into a tanned 4 pack you can have all the presents.

Anonymous said...

Many women have come to me with this problem, and I always offer the same advice. Your stomach has spent less time in direct sunlight than your other bits (face, hands, legs) and is therefore more sensitive to the effects of tanning. The only solution is to walk around outside naked until you bits all acclimatize to UV rays to the same degree. Taking frequent pictures of the process for scientific comparison by third parties is a must. High heels will also help greatly.

Anonymous said...

Elizabeth, as a matter of fact, Dominican is being served on my blog right now. Please stop by and help yourself. ;)

Cheezy said...

No idea about your tanning issue. I've only been in a tanning bed once and it was with someone else. And it wasn't on.

Agree with you about those bloody 'people' though. They suck alright.

Anonymous said...

Those fucking people bastards.

Anonymous said...

Tanning is simple for me...

I just don't bother. ;)

Steve~

Elizabeth McClung said...

Sun bad - become a goth and save money (well on tanning, your mascara costs go up dramatically though)

Elohelae said...

become scottish as there is not need for a tan over there. I become the lobster

elizabeth said...

That's why I tanned - 1 week to the Dominican. If I don't tan - I get off the plane and *poof* just ashes and smoke.

Ah yes, and as for areas that haven't seen the sun - in theory that makes sense, however, my tummy has seen much sun but other parts (that I won't mention) have not - and those parts remain mysteriously white. Odd init?

Anonymous said...

Yeah...Ms Mcclung nailed it...goth pale is way cooler than fake tan.

elizabeth said...

Ok fish - I usually agree. But I am so pale I'm see-through. I don't do so well with vacations unless I fake an bake.

Carrie in BC said...

Well at least your stomach looks great, I have been tanning and I have a very dark ass....At least it also gives the illusion of less celulite, gotta love that.

jen said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

you've convinced me...

i'm putting my belly ring back in too!