Saturday, December 23, 2006

Well - as it's almost Christmas

A little post to boost our spirit...

Apparently, Christmas tree stealing has reached pandemic proportions. Oh, yes. Find your self with a loverly pine on your lawn - and when it's just the right size...CHOP. Someone steals it.

Now, in recent years I have started using a beautiful, albeit fake tree. I don't do this so much to save trees as I would like to pretend. Nope, I just hate having to remember to water it and I hate vacuuming the needles. (Less spiders, too.)

Due to this horrible crime being commited all around the world where evergreens grow.... some solutions have been suggested.

The first is to spray the tree in fox piss. (I know. Makes you wonder who got THAT job.) I guess the point of spraying this on the tree is that, in colder temperatures it has no odour. But bring it inside and it becomes a tree of the "odiferous" variety. *smirk*. Apparently, the smell never leaves the house.

Though I applaude this little trick, it is a bit late to save your landscaping efforts.

Another solution is to use special paint to spray the tree bright orange or pink. It lasts only a few months and then fades away leaving the tree pefectly intact and unharmed. This solution seems better - but it would piss me off to have pink trees for two whole months. I'd probably cut them down myself.


Green Fish said...

You know when you're reading a post and suddenly you come across a totally unexpected phrase like, "spray the tree in fox piss" (like that's something we all have in the pantry) and you end up laughing so hard that you have to change your pants? This has been one of those times. Have a whippy Christmas Liz.

elizabeth said...

Wippy like - as in whipped cream? Good idea. Now, why didn't I think of that?

Mark said...

Third solution - Load the 12 gauge up with double-ought buckshot. Works every time. Too violent? We have trees to save.

Merry Christmas, Liz!

elizabeth said...

Merry Christmas Mark (put down the gun) LOL