So Goodbye For Now...

I know this sounds stupid but it just seemed to final to say goodbye... life is just too busy right now. I know you guys aren't surprised.

BUT I promise that one day I will return. I actually miss you guys so much! I feel like I moved away from you guys too!!

I think about you guys all the time! I will make an effort to at least stop into your fabulous blogs on a regular basis - now that the pressure is off ;-)

Love Lizzy

PS-WTF is with Toe Shoes?

Philly- wooooohoooo

I went to the Game 4 of the Stanley cup finals yesterday. I took the train. It was very fun. I got a hideous orange swag shirt *for free* AND stayed up stupid late (6am ish). I am prone to motion sickness... train ride was not so easy... I must seek the comfort of my lovely bed very early tonight - And some meds to assist with nausea.

That was the most fun I've had in AGES. I think I might not be able to stay up that late again in my lifetime... I'm getting too old for sleep deprivation. But I highly recommend that once or twice a decade - you act like a teenager and stay up all night. I"m pretty damn sure we solved a lot of the worlds problems... if only I could remember the conversation ;-D

Adventures... and a train.

I am going on an adventure by train next Friday. I am excited. I'm tempted to dress up like the characters in White Christmas - when they were on the train to Vermont. But - it is pretty likely I would die of heat exhaustion.

I had my cholesterol tested for the first time a week ago. Made me feel old. I was kind of surprised to see it was 200. I eat super healthy and work out all the time - plus I'm not overweight. HDL was 94, LDL was 93 and triglycerides were 63. I think I would already have high cholesterol if I had a different lifestyle. That freaks me out. I fully intend to live forever. Lucky for me my blood pressure is 100 over 70. I'm sure that will buy me a year or two.

Going to see Sex in the City movie this afternoon. Going to order nachos with cheese... I hear they do wonders for cholesterol...

Health returns

I'm finally feeling better.

Anyone here watch Cougar Town? Love that show.

Anyone here eat at Chipotle's? Love that place.

Anyone here ever see this picture. Love kids.

srsly?

Day two

Feel like I'm running the sick bay on the Star Trek Enterprise and you are the ship's log. Yes. The cold meds are that good. The only drawback is - I keep thinking that the laundry room is the holodeck and it's malfunctioning.

Babs has ceased puking and is now found in various rooms on the floor asleep. Spartan is getting my cold because I suck. Roo is the only healthy one thus far. I think I might make him captain.

Sick comes in waves...

....much like nausea.

Last week Babs had a runny nose. This week - the day after my annual physical ---- which is never a highlight ----- I came down with a cold that had me on my ass for two straight days. I'm still kind of green and my head is all floaty. Which is kind of nice compared to the previous two days... but then...

- the kids biodad came to spend the weekend with them which is lovely but- he had the flu. He had the flu and then after three days with the kids Babs puked in the back of his new car. He has to drive 6 or 7 hours home. Shheeeesh. Not the fun weekend he had in mind...

Just returned from holding back the wee Babbies hair while she hurled yet again into a bucket.

She just quietly finished and said... "...guess the medicine didn't work..."

Guess not.

She's finally asleep for a wee nap.

The final icing on the cake if you will; just had the carpets Oxicleaned yesterday. *SIGH*

Oh the universe and its sense of humor. Never ceases to amaze me.

Oh yes - and did I mention that Spartan finally came home from a long road trip to find us in this extreme situation? Yep. *SIGH*

Might I have abandoned you too long?

Getting married, moving and all manner of drama. Forgive me and please come back...

Bedazzler be damned....

Instead Va-jazzled?

There is a place that bedazzles your nether regions...

New York City’s Completely Bare Spa, as a post-waxing add-on service (only because it would get a bit ick with all the hair and such...). An esthetician decorates your newly waxed private bits with Swarovski crystals.... with what I'm not sure. Crazy glue perhaps. (?) Hot glue gun? I'm thinking after a bikini wax you wouldn't even think it hurts.

Completely bare... with a flare.

I might bedazzle my hoo hoo with a sparkly portrait of spartan for our anniversary... or maybe just a great big heart with our initials in it...

Seriously people... what are you thinking. I wanna know.

Am I Cursed?

Ever feel like a walking train wreck? My husband deserves a medal for being married to me. I decided to wash his precious car and managed to scratch the shit out of the hood. Millions of tiny little scratches on black paint - looks like a cloud.

It took me nearly a week and many missed hours of sleep to admit my mistake. He had already seen it. He wasn't mad. He laughed at me and said "We'll get it fixed, you meant well."

Now I feel worse. I think I would have felt (temporarily) better if he had just yelled at me and told me I was an idiot. As it stands I have done that repeatedly to myself in the mirror since I messed up.

In other stories - I had a kiddy bday party the other day for my daughter. I took millions of kindergarteners to a movie and dinner. (Okay - maybe only 6 kids but... it felt like far more.) One of them bitched, whined, complained and cried the entire time (thank god that one didn't belong to me). Statements like, "I hate this movie - it's boring. I wanna go home. I don't want gummies I WANT CHOCOLATE!..." All of these statements delivered with a sour or angry crying face. But then miraculously when her mother appeared she sprouted wings and an angelic face to match. That child is the devil - I swear. If she ever comes to another party I will bring chocolate for everyone but her.

Helloooooooooooooooo

Okay people... I think I have settled enough into a routine now that the 'routine blogging" in my head can start appearing here again. I debated ending the blog but I can't say goodbye to you guys... your like some demented online family presence to me. I talk to you in my head. So you might still be stuck with me.

My wonderful magical prince of a hubby and I have been moved in and living in the U S of A for nearly 9 months now. I still get occasionally called out for the manner in which I evidently pronounce "sorry" but otherwise I can usually pass for one of the natives.... not like Native Americans but like a native American.... that seems redundant and confusing. Not that it would be bad to be mistaken for a Native American! I'm rambling. (When I say it in my head with the emphasis places just so - it makes sense... promise.)

I have been to many new places since we moved; Detroit, New York City (loved it), Philly, New Jersey and Wegmans. I'm starting to really have fun - as are the short people.

I have yet to go to lunch with the Obamas - but I'm sure the invitation is in the mail.

My sweetheart has planned some exciting adventures for the summer - so I'm busy trying to get back into bikini shape (damn you Wegmans). I don't know if you guys remember when I started running (like Frankensteins monster) or if you were still around when I reached my own tiny goal of running a mile nonstop? I'm now running 5K a few times a week... nonstop ;-) I am still trying to suppress the urge to run with my arms out in front of me.

Now that we are all caught up I've got to go do something useful.

Missed you guys.

WTF CVS??!!

I went into the CVS Pharmacy the other day to find a hair gel called Dippity Doo. Despite the name being kind of lame - it has been around for a thousand years. Everyone has heard of it. Except the guy working at CVS. (also for added reality in your imaginings the gentleman had a thick east indian accent - so imagine it up);

"Hi, do you guys carry the brand of gel 'Dippity Doo'?"

Shocked stare and then, "Pardon me madam?"

"You know Dip-pit-y DOO?" ...friendly patient smile "...do you guys have that brand?"

A more shocked stare... "I think it is in the feminine hygiene aisle..."

Then I returned his shocked stare.

Seriously - WTF?! I mean - come on. That's just disgusting. Imagine what he thought I must have been looking for? Whatever would a woman find in the feminine hygiene aisle with a name like that? I don't think I will be going back to CVS.

Happy Valentines....

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

The Snow Storm of the Century... and a deer!

The Snow Storm of the Century... and a deer!

Defining Moments

I just figured something out; we define the most important things in our lives by focusing on them. Be there negative things from our past that we bring up (mentally or in talking to friends) or positive things from the present that we focus on - that's what goes a long way to tell people who you are. It's not that we should not share our experiences - but we should focus on how much importance they play on the now. You know, pay attention to it.

I choose to let all of the negative things and experiences in my past - just go away. They served their purpose in getting me to where I am - and I've never been happier in my life. I am thankful every single day for the exact moment I am in. I am truly happy now. So from now on I choose to live in the present and enjoy the gift it truly is.

Also, I choose to drink vodka tonic (with a wee lime) as I have evolved somewhat from pina coladas and fruity drinks. Not that I'm saying they aren't still good - it's just that I've expanded my repertoire. It's all part of the now....

*yay*

dust bunnies

I've become somewhat handy in the past several months:

1. Not only do I now know of the existence of filters - I know how many my house holds within its walls and how to change them. I actually even change them. Huzzah.

2. I can change lightbulbs but often choose not to. My vain attempt at defying the universe. Sadly, I have ended up with several bruises because of it. I may have to find another way to go about this.

3. I love how everywhere in the USA has cards - member cards - everywhere. I have to buy a new wallet to house them. I have gotten pretty good at remembering which ones I already have... well I'm trying anyways.

4. I fixed the toilet. Seriously.

5. I have only forgotten to take the garbage out once.

6. The garb-orator provides me with endless hours of fascination. I especially love garborating limes and hamsters (just kidding - checking to see if you were listening).

7. I'm going to make it afterall. (Thanks MTM *throws hat joyfully in the air*)

Fa la la la l...l'over

the holidays over... partly sad and partly relieved I find myself sitting upon the couch with nowhere I need to be and no person I need to call... just sitting. *sigh*

Over the holidays I found myself held captive by several airlines in several different cities and decided that if a blind woman named Helen, who could not hear viewed life and - all of its experiences - as an adventure - well-that I should too. So I endeavored to just that very thing. I adventured to several places and stayed there despite not wanting to initially and I... well I met people; people who had been married 40 years and still liked each other more than anyone else on earth, a young woman who had never been up front - I taught her to get as many snacks as possible (-FREE - fill your bag babe!)and I told her to keep trying in school despite thinking it didn't make her feel cool (I never felt cool), and AND I learned that the human spirit is stronger and more lovely than ever. I also learned that no matter where you are - it really is who you are with that makes it worthwhile. I got to wave a fond farewell to the year I married my prince and welcome the new year in WITH my prince. I am truly lucky in every way you could imagine.

I braved the airport in Toronto on what has been deemed the worst day in a decade to do so. I saw stupidity (lots) but I also saw resilience. Oodles of it. That's what I take away. The spirit of it. That and the fact that all the crap made me think one thing... so many things to blog about ;-)

Happy 2010

Tis the Seeazin

Last night we got jolly. We played a board game (You Know You're a Redneck If...) that had us almost weeing in our pants. I didn't win... I think that's a good thing. I did, however, get to use my new perfected redneck accent. I also learned that port is scrumptious - well... I learned it a while ago but refreshed my memory last night.

I find myself in British Columbia for these festive celebrations. I have to admit that I am quite joyful about being in Canada for the holidays. Not just here but with my loving Spartan, his family and the bestest of friends surrounding us at all times. I'm so excited I practically scream Merry Christmas at poor unsuspecting strangers that I pass throughout the day. Everything is making me sort of ridiculously happy these days. My cheeks are a bit sore from the smiling.

Now in an unrelated story; went to the hotel gym yesterday for a quick work out. There was a woman on the elliptical with hobbit type harry legs, wearing capri's in bare feet... and when she left she put on knee high rubber boots. Does this type of shit only happen around me? I felt like I was drunk only I hadn't been drinking...

Merry Christmas you guys. Stuff yourselves full of yummy goodness and hug your loved ones up tight.

Herrrro out derrrrrr

I'm baaaack. Back to bitch, whine and complain and laugh about random stuff. Sorry about the absence; life took over for a while.

So let's refresh; in the past 6 months I have, a) gotten married to the love of my existence, b) moved to an entirely different country and c) all manner of other stressful stuff.

I can't believe it's been almost half of a year since we got married! Time flies. And indeed we have been having fun. Our next little adventure takes us back up to Canadia for the holidays - huzzah. I'm getting my snow shoes all shiny. Then for some reason the fates find me heading to Detroit - of all places - to bring in the new year. I'll be with Spartan *double happy claps and a wee bit of jumping in cheerleader type fashion* Yeah. Tell me that's not something a self respecting 33 year old should be doing....

Regarding the move - there are a lot of angry people around here. I mean ANGRY. It's insane. This place is funny all of the time. Lots of the women are the super competitive "that's nice" sort - kind of southern stereotype. Pretend nice but they are really just nasty. Example:

"Miss Liz! How are you!"

"just fine! How you doing Miss Rachel?"

"Just fine! Cept I accidentally dropped a chef knife right into the top of my foot when I was making dinner... and it's still there! What did you do today?"

"That's nice! I just got back from my mani-pedi and kick boxing class despite the fact that I have two broken legs - and I ran all the way there and back. I also took my daughter - remember her? She's little Miss Alexandria - over to the school so she could receive her "Nicest Peachy Smile and Wave" Award. Then of course I volunteered at the local shelter and popped a Prime Rib in and made some fresh bread... while it was cooking I repainted the house. What did you make for dinner Miss Liz?"

"Um... I made frozen lasagna.... and I shaved my legs today."

Anyways - I've given up on attempting to fit into their mould (mould - on purpose - mold - get it - he h

e he...). Not happening. I still clean my own toilet and look hot doing it (I got a cute apron and gloves with a ruffle - no shit - it's my way of making fun of them and looking good doing it)

The schools? That's a whole other blog. I might start one. Let me just say this - they fully expect their 5 year olds to graduate kindergarten being able to read Grapes of Wrath and then write their own novel. It's a bit crazy. I know in the long run it will serve the children well. But it's a little over the top to give a 7 year old an hour of homework every night.

**If they did a study - I would bet loads of money that the prescriptions for antianxiety medicines is higher in this area than anywhere on earth. Seriously.