Sunday, February 04, 2007

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS:
SAFER:
SAFEST:
ULTRA SAFE:

What's for dinner?
Can I help you with dinner?
Where would you like to go for dinner?
Here, have some wine.

Are you wearing that?
Wow, you sure look good in brown!
WOW! Look at you!
Here, have some wine

What are you so worked up about?
Could we be overreacting?
Here's my paycheck.
Here, have some wine.

Should you be eating that?
You know, there are a lot of apples left.
Can I get you a piece of chocolate with that?
Here, have some wine.

What did you DO all day?
I hope you didn't over-do it today.
I've always loved you in that robe!
Here, have some more wine.



13 Things PMS Stands For:
1 Pass My Shotgun
2 Psychotic Mood Shift
3 Perpetual Munching Spree
4 Puffy Mid-Section
5 People Make me Sick
6 Provide Me with Sweets
7 Pardon My Sobbing
8 Pimples May Surface
9 Pass My Sweat pants
10. Pissy Mood Syndrome
11. Plainly; Men Stink
12. Pack My Stuff
and my favorite one.
13. Potential Murder Suspect

Strangely, I am not suffering from PMS and most of these are applicable. Perhaps this is just the female condition? LOL

4 comments:

Slyde said...

of COURSE you dont suffer from PMS.... you're perfect!

elizabeth said...

Thanks Slyde! You are so right.... just perfect! LOL...

Mark said...

I had a GF once who used to claim pre-, post, as well as menstrual syndrome as why she was perpetually cranky.

I finally told her one day it had nothing to do with her period, she was just a bitch.

As soon as the words were out I realized that PMS stood for Pack My Shit, cuz I was not staying there anymore.

Hope yer back to your usual funny and entertaining self soon.

Yoga Korunta said...

Dear Elizabeth,
May I pour you some wine?
David