Sunday, February 25, 2007

Matchmaker matchmaker bring me a dream...it's that time again


Bachelor numero uno
This is Samson. Samson is a self made millionaire having invented dental floss. He is a Gemini and has more than two personalities at present (keeps the conversation flowing). An avid shell collector and wine aficionado, Samson looks forward to sharing his secrets of personal hygiene with you.



Bachelor number two
This is Machismo. He enjoys dinner parties and stupid human tricks. His past times include terrifying small children and apple carving. Machismo believes that the secrets of the universe are contained in an olive jar that he has kept in a shrine for the past 35 years. He owns a vast collection of strawberry shortcake figurines and limited edition serial killer cards. A perfect first date would consist of a leisurely stroll through some brambles and a quick vinegar bath.




Bachelor number three
This is Charles. He still lives at home with his Mom (although no one has seen her alive in over 20 years). Charles has recently started his own religion worshipping potatoes. He can teach you how to hear them speak the prophecy on your second or third date. Charles is intense and romantic. He is waiting for the perfect woman to "complete" his collection - ahem - um him. He means to complete HIM, right Charles? He has recently taken up hip hop dancing and would love to show you his skillz.

10 comments:

Neil a.k.a. the one and only very badass CrackerMF said...

Number one all the way! He's got the money and you could open your imported beers on his teeth!

elizabeth said...

Neil - though you have a good point, I am somewhat drawn to bachelor #3 (it's the potatoes)

Jennifer said...

mmm... menage tois? I probably totally spelt that wrong, but who cares... Can I have all three? It would be kind of fun to put them in a padded room together and hose them down. ...ew. I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

elizabeth said...

You and me both.

Green Fish said...

The last guy (who seems to be standing in the doorway of a well appointed house) looks batshit crazy. He is the one for you.

Mark said...

I'm with Green Fish. Plus he has both eyes and it's a crapshoot, but he just might have decent teeth.

elizabeth said...

Fish - I noticed that as well (about the house). Odd.

Mark - good point!

So far Charles is in the lead!

Cheezy said...

Another vote for Charles here. I like his overalls.

Plus, the dude sticking his finger into his nose and out of his eye is trying too hard to impress. Charles has a more 'effortless' cool.

Slyde said...

That "finger thru the eye" guy is going to haunt me for the rest of the day!

elizabeth said...

Cheezy - vote counted. I hear ya about the dude with the finger in his eye being hard to impress - I mean how do you top that?

Slyde - don't knock it till you try it