Sunday, April 13, 2008

So my little old apple people next door keep bringing us bread. Carbon dating has clearly indicated that eating this bread could prove fatal. They are sweet - well SHE is... he's kind of dirty*... but sweet as they are, I wish and I pray that they stop bringing us food. (!)

First of all - everything they make smells and tastes old... and faintly like oregano. They also insist on giving the children sweets - also old... so old in fact that some of them have worms in them. So, they are amazed that the kids don't like chocolate. Go figure. They do. Just not the worm infested oregano flavored kind.

*I think I blogged about the time that he hit on my mother? If I stopped laughing long enough to type it out... it was absolutely horrible. He put on his special blue mesh 80's top and proffered his ex rays and medical documents so that she would know he was ready to "get it on" (insert horrible porn music here). Almost as funny as the time my dad was lighting candles for a romantic evening... and accidentally set my mother's bra on fire...

10 comments:

Slyde said...

you're lucky... i wish i had cute little old people living next to me. Instead, we have obnoxious middle-aged fucks who like to start their truck for no reason at 5:00 over and over again.

B.E. Earl said...

Medical documents?

Man, oh man...he IS ready to get it on!

sprinkle4 said...

I just have a cigar smoker on one side and the chronic barbecuers on the other.....darn, what I wouldn't give for some oregano chocolate!;)

Yep, I have to peruse my hubby's medical documents whenever he's ready to 'get it on'....gotta make sure he don't keel over when the goin' gets tough! LMAO.....insert horrible porn music indeed...boom chicka wahwah...whoo hoo!

Jon said...

My next door neighbours are brilliant. They're quite well off and last weekend they bought me a bottle of whisky just for moving a sewing machine from her car boot to her garage!

I'm going to look for worms in that whisky now...

elizabeth said...

slyde - no. Trust me. You do not.

But the truck thing has to stop. One word - eggs.

Earl - Bow chicka bowbow

Sprinkle - but do the bbqers share? Make sure you ask for ex-rays... lol.

Jon - hmmm. I think we are all green with envy. When will you be having a blog party?

Jon said...

I don't drink whisky so you are more than welcome to pop round and help yourself!

Böbø said...

Being half Dutch, I have horrible porn music as the backing track to a lot of my life. But I've never thought to produce my medical records to document my love-machine credentials.

But then I've never thought to have a droopy moustache, wear leather trousers, leer down the front of women's tops or nudged people suggestively with my elbow.

Oh I've so much to learn!

PS: Could you stop your Meez running so, she just exhausting me!

elizabeth said...

Jon - weee!

Bobo - lol! I can't stop her from running - she needs the exercise. ;-P

Melanie said...

ok YIKES!!

elizabeth said...

Yikes indeedy.