So my little old apple people next door keep bringing us bread. Carbon dating has clearly indicated that eating this bread could prove fatal. They are sweet - well SHE is... he's kind of dirty*... but sweet as they are, I wish and I pray that they stop bringing us food. (!)

First of all - everything they make smells and tastes old... and faintly like oregano. They also insist on giving the children sweets - also old... so old in fact that some of them have worms in them. So, they are amazed that the kids don't like chocolate. Go figure. They do. Just not the worm infested oregano flavored kind.

*I think I blogged about the time that he hit on my mother? If I stopped laughing long enough to type it out... it was absolutely horrible. He put on his special blue mesh 80's top and proffered his ex rays and medical documents so that she would know he was ready to "get it on" (insert horrible porn music here). Almost as funny as the time my dad was lighting candles for a romantic evening... and accidentally set my mother's bra on fire...