1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq. ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can, to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh oh', it's already too late.
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even though a 36-year old Man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Lego's will pass through the digestive tract of a 4-year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject 'PB & J' sandwiche s even though TV commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department has a 5-minute response time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and brake fluid. (Earl, Slyde etc...)
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8 comments:
This has to be one of the funniest posts I have seen in a long, long time. ..... and they are all true.
(I will have to check out the Clorox and brake fluid one, that just sounds too cool.)
me? never!
but i WOULD like to try that paint can on the ceiling fan thing...
Boys, Birds and ummmm what were those things?
hold on, let me go down to see, shoot faretts! almost all b's! ;)~
where in the heck do you live again? and when will you be back to Cali?
Tragically Clorox isn't sold in the UK. But you'd of thought putting enough Jell-O (aka Jelly in UK) ought to work.
Boys, great aren't they!
It's amazing what can come out of a cat when he/she is sick.
And that Clorox thing does sound like fun. Can you get high off the smoke? ;)
Oh, I'm sure you can get as high as Heaven from breathing that smoke. Forever. According to the Wiki article on Brake Fluid, you can produce a fireball by mixing it with certain pool products. As for the Jello, don't forget that you would have to bring the entire swimming pool to a boil before it could set.
I'm glad I just have cats.
NICE POST :)
Guys....don't you just LOVE 'em:)? I am gonna have to try the brake fluid and Clorox thing myself because it sounds like fun. (Living in an all male house will rub off on you eventually;))
I LOVE this post, especially 'when you hear the toilet flush and the words 'uh-oh' it's already too late.' Oh, how many plumber's retirements my house has paid for!
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