Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Woke up this morning to the sound of the wind whistling through the house and trying to rip the roof off. I swear I looked out the window and saw a medium sized pit bull flying by. So that was odd...but then lots of odd things happen before coffee.

I also stubbed my toe this morning on the coffee table, but clearly explained that if that should happen again the table might enjoy being whittled or becoming firewood... so now I think it should think about what it's done (wicked devil) and perhaps won't be a repeat offender.


i am the diva said...

brrr... keep drinking the coffee and try to stay warm... and have another cup for me... i miss it so. :(

John said...

I wouldn't hold your breath...many, many a time I have chastised numerous items of furniture in my house for its blatant tomfoolery and common assaults but it pays no attention. I even upped the anti and swore at the ironing board last week, and I know for a fact I punched the settee once but they just keep on like they can't hear you.

It really is quite upsetting.

So yeah, I feel your pain, and if you ever need to talk, you know where I am.


B.E. Earl said...

It's fine to get upset at a coffee table every now and again.

But never get mad at an end table. They hold grudges.

Böbø said...

Recidivism rates amongst inanimate objects in general, and bloody-minded furniture in particular, is most alarming.

I've tried reasoning
I've tried the naughty step
I've tried turning the air blue
I've tired kicking back: strangely, a bit self-defeating

Wine, I find, can offer a soothing and pleasing anaesthetic affect. Or make you care less when you attack back with a hammer.

Kat said...

That reminds me of the time I saw a man cursing the sidewalk for tripping him. Varry funny.

wv- foorhld

Slyde said...

we have a coffee table in our den, and i hate the fucker. Everytime i bang into it, i lift it up over my head with the threat of tossing it out the window...

one day....

elizabeth said...

Diva - try Godiva decaf - it's actually really quite yum

John - I think we should start a group therapy thing... what say you? (What would we sit on though??)

Bobo - LMAO. Yes. Wine. Never thought of turning the air blue...what about orange?

Kat - IF you could throw your voice that would have been the time for it, no?

Slyde - Bondfire. My house. Be there.

elizabeth said...

Earl - I skipped over you... you won't hold a grudge will you???