I am in bug hell.
You heard me. HELL.
This week; a tick ON MY DAUGHTER and moments ago a centipede. Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand they bite. I'm moving. Into a bubble. This is surely the most -the most- fearsome creature ever to enter my home, the house centipede. It is freaky and it is VILE. It also has waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too many legs. Who needs 15 pairs + of legs. And they can run so freakin fast you have no idea - so can I - IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION. They can run 50 cm a second. That's speedy. They have 40 eyes. OMG. Also - it appears they are flame retardant. Even immune to bleach and draino... (then again thrown from across the room if I actually hit it). Also seemingly impervious to being screamed at. Oh yeah - and you'd be surprised at how quickly they can move when partially dismembered. It kind of looks like a toupee running like hell across your floor. I did some reading and it appears if you have an allergic reaction to their venom you develop something akin to a goiter - for the rest of your life. Which would kind of make me paranoid - as though it laid eggs in you.
Oh - and speaking of which, if you ever decide to call Kat for moral support - She doesn't help. She ADDS to it by coming up with all of this random and hideous information to support your paranoia. Then she branches off into things like ticks tunnelling into your head and staying there - also a particularly fascinating recollection of someone she knew who had a GIANT maggot in their head. An African fly larvae. Soooo - I think Africa is out. Forever. Don't need to go there. Don't want to need to live in a padded cell for the rest of my life.
I think that I may have to purchase a hasmat suit for sleeping in. Anyone happen to have one I could borrow?