Free shit and funny stuff.

Caffine... go here for a chance to win a free book! (And stock up on caffine.)

I am so tired this morning... my eysees are having trouble staying open. Mornings are not my favorite place.

Funny kid quotes;

Roo is standing in the kitchen and sees my dad using a spatula, he turns to my father and says; "Papa, could you make me some crabby patties?" (He was dead serious).

Babs (there are two this week...)

1. She walks into her room where construction of her new built in bed is taking place, she slaps her hands to her hips and says; "Is this going to be done soon? Cuz... right now it just looks like a bunch of crap!" (how do you not laugh? she is 4).

2. She is misbehaving and I explain that people will begin to look at her when she does like she looks at Angelica. She gets this look of terror on her face and says; "Oh. That would be...horibibble." (again...how do you not laugh?).

Kids are great.

139 days...

Wow. 139 days till the wedding. In a lifetime that is a blink. So little time left to hit the gym...

I mailed my invitations today. Quite sure the lady at the post office thinks I was mental. I was smiling from ear to ear and tears were welling up in my eyes!!

I am so excited!

Other than that - there is not too much happening over here in lizland. Just waiting for spring and cursing the cold. It's almost March... when does the snow stop?!

Did I mention that I mailed out the wedding invitations today?! Weeeeeeeee!

I has a sad... and the whipping cream did something unexpected...

Just spent a fabulous 3 days with the love of my life and now he is gone again. The world needs him. I hate sharing.

While we were away overnight we brought with us a can of whipping cream. Chocolate flavoured. We thought it would be a delectable addition to our morning coffee... anyhoo... it 'sploded.

We heard this hissing sound. We had just come back from breakfast. We looked at each other *perplexed*. I followed the sound to the can atop the fireplace.

"HSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS"

Uh. Oh. I grab the can and make for the bathroom. As I arrive in the bathroom the can begins ejecting air and chocolaty whipped cream with increasing ferocity.

"HSSSSFSSSSSWHSHHHHHHHSSSSSSSS"

All over the bathroom. I lunge for the garbage can - throw the whipped cream into a bag - throw the bag into the garbage - put a towel on top and placed it into the tub. Then hit the deck expecting an explosion of epic and chocolaty proportions. Then we quickly checked out.

Oh dear.

Wonder what the maid will think of that.

Spartan sent me a valentine...

Have a wonderful day!

Monster child...

There is a kid in my daughter's class that is the SPAWN of the DEVIL. The first day of school, she introduced herself to the other kids by bringing a hammer and attacking them. They, of course, removed her from the class. (Imagine getting expelled from Junior Kindergarten?)

I have history with this kid; she was on Bab's soccer team this past summer. All the parents stared at this kid in awe... and at her mother. I've never seen anything like it. If nothing else - it made for entertainment. Felt sorry for the kids that she punched though... they were only 3 years old.The kid is possessed.

Anyways, the monster child returned to class and upon reading the list of valentine names it dawned on me... the kids name is ANGELICA. Angelica. No shit. Irony there.

P.S. Bad idea: Shrimp pizza... there was a flyer for it in the mail. I almost puked.

Glad it's Friday. I needed Friday.

Wow... Life is Busy!

Hello there bloggers!

The last couple of months has been a whirlwind of busy stuff. Last weekend, Spartan took myself -along with my little carnies- to DC. So much fun! Went to the Museum of Natural History. I could spend months going to museums to just hang out. What a cool place. Very educational. How very cool of Spartan - he survived 3 days in one room with the bunch of us - not a small thing considering he is used to being solo.

The city was just in the process of putting in place the final preparations for the Presidential Inauguration. The streets had all of the stands up and they were actually starting to block off the streets... and then there was the OCEAN of port-o-potties. So wish I'd taken a picture of it. I'm quite sure they must have brought them in from all of the surrounding states. Quite a funny sight.

I am very much looking forward to winter being over. As a little side project we have been fattening up the local squirrels by giving them daily helpings of peanut buttered rolls. There is a small army of them now. Each of them approximately the size of a mommy raccoon. They are grey with white tummies and white tufts of hair that pop out above their ears. Cute as can be. Babs keeps trying to catch one. She likely will one of these days. They are getting slower by the minute. I'm hoping she catches one actually - they would make fantastic slippers. (I jest.)

In another note - people keep listening in on the fax line at work - and the line identifies it as a voice call so the line rings. I picked it up today and made ridiculous fax sounds into it. My boss is probably still laughing.

I've got no little people at the moment and have already been to the gym today so I am going to gladly take this opportunity to crash on the couch - catch my breath and vegetate whilst watching the idiot box (as my mother calls it). Speaking of TV - Grey's was quite the tear jerker last night... must be trying to up their ratings... it's getting really good these days.

Hope you are all well. I blog to you all very often in my head - I just don't make it to the keyboard as often as I'd like.

Less than 6 months....

Till wedded bliss. Until I marry the most marvelous man to have ever walked the face of planet earth. Happy? Moi? Indeed. Overjoyed would be the correct term.

Spartan and I were in Toronto over the weekend. We had time to wander about the shopping concourse and do some people watching. I love watching people. I love being with Spartan... so people watching with Spartan? Superfun. We did some shopping too. Also fun... though I suspect watching paint dry with this man would be enjoyable...

I've been laughing a lot lately. It struck me at some point that I really love laughing. You know that feeling in your tummy? Kind of like when you go over a hill really fast. Same thing. Just thought I'd mention.

Speaking of laughing... Tina Fey is stealing from my life and making money out of it. Remember that story of the dwarf in the airport that I thought was a child wandering around without a parent and I attempted to rescue her? (for those of you who don't recall... welcome to one of my most embarrassing moments...it was BAD). Anyhoo - on her new show 30 rock the character is baby obsessed and she touched this little mans head thinking it was a child and... well you get the idea. Only then she pretended it was because she thought he was hot and she went on a date with him. Which I didn't do... but similarish. I didn't come up with any cover at all to dig myself out of my situation... I just stood there stammering.

My parents thought it was funny as hell when they told me they watched a woman just like me on tv. Well... at least they still watch cool shit.

Got me thinking that if we combined stories we could all come up with one hell of a hit tv show.

Off to bed. I is sleeeeepy.

A few pitures...

Santa came to visit!

I bowl better this way.... seriously.

Not entirely sure what we were looking at but...

Happy New Year!

Hello blogland! Happy 2009! I hope you all rang in the new year surrounded by friends and loved ones - and perhaps a couple of cocktails! I was lucky enough to have my new year with my Western family; Spartan and Carrie & hubby and some wonderful friends. It was so much fun. We played Wii and Rockband (some of us in ballgowns... some in golf knickers). We laughed and cringed. It was an absolute blast. Pictures will follow shortly as soon as I've a chance to upload them.

I love saying goodbye to an old year and ushering in a new one! This year in particular since I have this summer to look forward to... becoming Mrs. Spartan. Very exciting.

I took the wee ones bowling tonight. They annihilated me. Legitimately. Sigh. I guess I won't make my millions in competitive bowling. One more dream gone *sniff*. I like bowling though. Tis fun.

So... welcome to a new year. Hope it is a great one for everyone. Sadly, I have no resolutions to share... but if you do bring em on.

Here comes 2009...

Sadly, I was taken out by one hell of a Christmas cold. I am still coughing up several organs at regular hourly intervals.

This year, as with others, is complete with several happy holiday memories for the mental scrapbook I carry around. Not the least of which was the little adventure that was created when we went to get the tree....

I have an artificial one. It's perfectly suitable and does not require fussing about in sub zero weather. BUT... my parents decided they really wanted to take the kids out to a tree farm like we used to do, select the tree and drink hot chocolate.

It seems all warm and fuzzy doesn't it? But my memories of the same tradition as a child picture it more as a form of unusual torture; forced out of bed at an ungodly hour, dressed in so many clothes we could not feel our limbs, driven tired out to a field somewhere - on the way passing by some parking lots filled with lovely pre-selected and pre cut trees - and squishing our faces against the window praying that THAT was the tree farm. On we would drive - usually for 30 minutes. Usually in a snow storm. We would arrive, trek off into the wilderness - our noses running and our fingers threatening to fall off. We would spy a tree and point it out. The standard response was issued, "Let's remember that one..." On we would wander in snow up to our middles, no longer able to feel our toes. Eventually someone would start wining - sometimes even snivelling. Father would get edgy; this was the great tree tradition and it would be fun... eventually we would end up going to the nearest tree, chopping it down and dragging it home to decorate. We would be frozen, grumpy and exhausted. In actual fact, somehow those have turned into some of the best memories I have.

This year was no exception. The poor kids, lol. Dressed up like little Eskimos they trudged through waist deep snow. They gave up several times and just lay down atop the white stuff - but it occurred to them whilst down there to perfect their snow angel making abilities. Way to take the lemons kids! They were amazing. I ended up giving Babs a piggy back for part of the way. But the rest of the time they ended up being little troopers - on a big adventure. The day was cold but sunny and the blanket of snow glistened like diamonds. We wrote messages in the snow to each other - and took turns dragging the tree. We trekked half an hour out into the woods and back again. I occasionally stopped to text message Spartan (and wrote a few messages in the snow for him too). Then we went for hot chocolate and treats. The kids had pink little cheeks and dimples as deep as the snow. They are so proud of their tree.

Don't get me wrong - I love the idea of an artificial tree - but I think once and a while it might have to be part of the tradition to trek out to a tree farm and make some more memories - frozen toes be damned.

Hope you guys all had a wonderful holiday.

Merry Christmas (takes a second to load)

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

Holy crap I'm trapped

Luckily INSIDE my house. Going out today in the first place was dumb - almost couldn't make it home. Lucky for me I did... and now I can stand in the window and laugh at all of the people who are stuck in the snow. Plenty of them too. I'd offer my assistance is getting them unstuck but they are the same people who kept getting stuck last year - and I'd have thought they might have learned their lesson. Perhaps if they have to work a bit harder - they will think twice before trying to leave again. Tomorrow morning I have a feeling that I will be getting one hell of an arm workout. If I still have any residual energy - I've plans of building a snow castle in the yard complete with a snow-Spartan to be the resident prince. Should be fun. I'll be sure and take pics.

Spartan and I had our Christmas last week - I was spoiled rotten and left with a heart feeling so full of love it was fit to burst. I have such good people. I am so very blessed. I have such a wonderful, loving, handsome and kind husband to be - wonderful friends and a great big smile on my face (and in my heart).

Tonight - as we are snowed in and such... I think the kids and I will make a pizza, turn on a movie and snuggle up on the couch. *JOY*

Then, after they are tucked in dreaming of Sugarplum fairies and Ninjabread men - I will myself tuck into my warm bed with a sigh and think of how very wonderful life is... and how everything has a way of working out.

Hope you guys are full of Christmas cheer. Or wine. They are often one and the same ;o)

Ok. How much luggage can a person fly with...

I packed for Wednesday - which may seem a bit premature to some but considering my schedule (kids skating, Christmas preparations etc.) over the next 3 days - it isn't. When I packed everything I realized I only had room enough in my luggage (other than gifts etc) to pack a pair of socks, underwear and a t-shirt. I hope there aren't any formal dinners in my near future or people might begin to wonder... if they hadn't already. I did however keep my priorities straight and managed to squish in 2 pairs of shoes. Talk about down sizing! I usually have an entire case of shoes and hair products. Issues? Yes, but I always had great hair when the need arose. Looks like this season calls for the Lilith look. Perhaps I can dress it up with a sprig of holly. Maybe a little evergreen branch?

Kid quotes of the week;

In a discussion about children misbehaving and what Santa will offer them by way of a gift, Babs shouts, "I know!!! - A junk of coal!!".

In a discussion with a girl at school about the perils of smoking, Roo says, "Oh no - shouldn't ever try that.... you might get attracted to it."

I love kids.

I'm off to the annual girls Christmas brunch - where we will don horrible Christmas sweaters and eat copious amounts of high calorie food. That has to be the best bit of the holidays... that and the kids sparkling eyes when they go to sleep on Christmas Eve.

Christmas is closer every minute. Shit.

I don't often curse - but in this instance - I thought there was no other way to describe exactly how the panic of not being done shopping this close to the holiday is twisting me into a bit of a grumpy humbug.

I'm tired of all the people rushing about the mall screaming at their tots, shooting dirty looks and seemingly about ready for - and rather in need of - a large biscuit... made with mostly Valium. I start out well enough but then in the end I too am smiling at the crowd through gritted teeth. (Not my most attractive look, must say.)

Otherwise, life is just drumming along. Busy. Crazy busy. I feel about in need of a reprieve from this repetitive insanity that has become my life. Luckily for me - one is in short sight. In a few weeks - I will be safely ensconced in my other home surrounded by people whom I adore and able to sleep in, drink wine and relax with a coffee at random intervals.

I hope those of you stateside are stuffing yourselves with massive amounts of turkey and cheap wine.

Off to write Santa a scathing letter badmouthing random people - you should try it - it's cathartic. Emotional cleansing at its best - Truly.

Ohh my oh me

I've been a very bad blogger.

It's full on winter now. A month till Christmas. Everywhere you go carols are playing and the sky keeps vomiting white stuff on top of my car. Very fun.

I ordered monogrammed napkins for the tables at the wedding and they arrived today - kind of like an early Christmas present. I was really happy with them - they are so beautiful! I can't wait to use them!! (But if anyone stains them - they get kicked out and slightly maimed.)

This weekend? Big plans; going to bed early and to the gym in the morning. The same thing tomorrow and in between? Organizing things about the house. I know you are all seething with jealousy.

Lastly - the one week countdown begins to Spartan. Thank heaven. I miss him so much I can barely breathe... besides - I can't wait to show him the napkins!! *JOY*

Thank you!

My wonderful hubby to be sent me flowers... just because! Isn't he wonderful?

They are lovely! They brighten the whole house!!!

Especially nice as it is cold and raining today... and I miss summer already...

This will make me smile... each and everytime I see them or catch a hint of a rose smell as I wander about the house today.

Hope you are all having a wonderful weekend!

Hooray for Grey's...

Had the Kat's kittens again last night and am suffering the consequent sleep deprivation. I love those kids though... it's the mess I shudder at. Kids are messy. I think I am going to start a new rule that my kids are only allowed 10 toys. Total. 5 each. One could be a large plastic bubble - where they keep all of their other toys.... it would be a hell of a lot easier to clean up...

I was also thinking that a velcro room, and little corresponding outfits could be fun for hours. (I mean for me and Spartan though...)

I've started a recent obsession with Little Brittain - this stuff is golden and extremely "off" humour. I don't know why I'd never heard of it before the magic of TMN. Anyhoo - have a peek on youtube. You might become a fan as well. Like me... you might start overuse of the phrase, "Computer says nooooo". People want to kill me.

Lastly - in my "I have no life" fashion my excitement has reached fever pitch; Grey's is on. Terribly exciting that. I have to go get the pillows in order and the popcorn on...

Oooh - and less than 8 months until I'm Mrs. Spartan! (For those of you keeping track ;op) *JOY*

Snow, denial and Christmas vacation

Here's a link to get you in the mood...

It is snowing. Only a bit. But it's snowing. I know that this happens every year - but each year I am surprised by it. I also continue to wear spring attire until I nearly contract frost bite on my digits and finally give into the winter garb. This usually happens on a day when I am forced to either clean off my car (this tends to hurt the fingers after a few minutes) or when I am outside and my anterior nose hairs freeze. This is a good indication that I should put on a coat. Maybe a matching balaclava... and the open toed shoes must be put away for a few months.

Spartan and I have planned our Christmas. Last year - our Christmas was so much fun! - he even decorated a little tree - which stayed up until July and was the cutest thing I've ever seen. Well - in actual fact he is - but the word "cute" doesn't really suit him... (more like dashing - which goes with the Christmas theme anyhoo...)

Here begins the three week countdown to my angel and the four week (plus two days) countdown to our Christmas! Hooray!!

Christmas is coming....

And here are a few things on my list for this year;

Thought this was clever.


I want a Clay Aiken Doll. Don't you?



This is a must. Funnier still if it came with a matching toad wallet.


For those cold wintry days. Actually - this one is for my dad... it suits him somehow...

I know you ALL want one of these. Maybe I will get one and breed it...

Finally November Is Here...

Spartan comes home to me on November 30, so - since I am impatient - I decided to start getting ready now. I went shopping today... I got an outfit to greet him in. Very cute if I do say so myself. I am very excited - and I am going though withdrawal...

In other news, yesterday I was driving along listening to the radio. On came this story about Senator McCain stopping in Cleveland for a rally - at the Spreadeagle Inn and Tavern... n0 shit... and better yet the event was hosted by a gentleman named Mr. Johnson.

... SNL doesn't have to look far for political fodder seeing as it is pretty much handed to them on a platter... at the Spreadeagle Inn and Tavern. (I just had to say it one more time)