2008 is almost here...

Hooray, another new year approaches.

I’ve done this before. I’m getting to be a virtual pro at coming up with resolutions. Now… if I could just actually stick to any of them I’d really be getting somewhere. In fact by my calculations – if I had lost the five pounds a year that I resolved to – every year – starting 10 years ago… I should weigh in at or about 80 pounds. Clearly this wouldn’t be a good thing. I would have to run around the shower to get wet, and with two little kids to look after I can’t afford the extra time that would take. I would also end up on Dr Phil – and for all the wrong reasons since, clearly at some point I will be a guest because something great I have written or done. It has had such a positive influence on the world that all talk show hosts will vie for my attention. Maybe I will win the Nobel peace prize because I have invented something that stops world wars. I will be selective; Oprah first, then Barbara Walters and then maybe Dr. Phil.

Yes – I have resolved to do many great things each time the New Year rolled around. World peace, world domination, making a lifesize sculpture of Harry Potter out of jello (okay, maybe not that one). Among them somewhere I think I also resolved to become really good at not letting the little things get to me – and then promptly experienced an unparalleled fit of road rage… at the Chucky Cheese parking lot. Stink eye from parents and children. I should get a trophy for that one.

One particularly ambitious year I decided I would learn a new skill. Something really exciting – like mountain climbing. I got as far as the top of my stairs but somehow think will not count this towards the afore mentioned goal.

Then last year was parasailing or waterskiing. I got on a banana boat and nearly broke my neck – does it count? Maybe not. But this one was at least close (ish). What? It WAS in the water…

Life just got in the way. Not in a good way like – I was too busy living life to the fullest. Nope. It just gets in the way sometimes – and so do the bills, the oil changes, the laundry, the dishwasher, cleaning out the attic, making a voodoo doll of my ex husband, grocery shopping and all of the other mundane tasks that make up the day to day. All of the things we plan to do get pushed forward another week, another month… maybe to next year. But what I fear will happen is, I will get to the end of my life and all of a sudden notice that all of those things I really wanted to do – never got done.

This year I resolve to take baby steps towards making sure that doesn’t happen. I will stop to smell the roses. I will remember to breathe and remind the people I care about how special they are – all of the time. They do afterall – deserve to know. I will also floss. Not everyday. Baby steps people. But I WILL floss. I will try to be more patient. I will make real mashed potatoes once and a while. I will try to understand that you cannot hold other people up to your own expectations – sometimes they are doing the very best that they can and that will have to be enough. I will fight for what is fair – and I will win in some small way – or maybe in a big way – but I will fight hard for what I believe is right. I will sing to the kids more. I will try to make people laugh. I will take the time to notice the little things that add up to the biggest things in the end. I will try to believe in myself and be kinder to myself. I will try to forgive others for the unkind things they clearly aren’t capable of understanding or doing differently. I will try not to eat an entire box of chocolates in one night (at least in two…). I will let myself cry. I will try to laugh more (though not at the same time…) I will jump in a puddle, maybe two. I will try to pay more attention to world politics and less attention to the gossip magazines. I will bake.

I say goodbye to 2007 with mixed emotions; it was a year of some incredible things that I will never forget – and of over coming the odds. It was a year that brought closure to one chapter of my life – and that I was eager to put behind me - and a much needed new beginning. A year where I have seen some of my dearest friends a great deal more than I have been able to before. A year of incredible surprises and some struggles. But the year that I will remember most for having brought me love. The kind that I never knew or could have imagined existed. All in all a pretty good year. One of the best of my life.

I have a feeling that 2008 will be an even better year. Here’s to hoping yours is too. (Does anyone have any dental floss I can borrow? I use the term “borrow” loosely – I won’t be returning it… unless you really wanted it back…which is really kind of disgusting…)

I am a minister now

Yep. Seriously. Universal Life Church Monastery.

But...

CANADIAN ULC MINISTERS WILL HAVE TO WAIT FOR THE PAPERWORK IN EACH PROVINCE TO BE APPROVED PRIOR TO OFFICIATING ANY MARRIAGES IN YOUR COUNTRY. Canadian ministers are asked to write a letter to the church to request that they be placed on a special mailing list that the church maintains to keep our ministers in Canada informed when each approval from the Provinces is received by the church.

So - not entirely sure what that means but anyhoo...

I was ordained online at 12:26:57 pm today.

That's right beotches. Take note. I am holy.

Okay folks. I have been a tad neglectful as of late. There are several reasons for this,

1. I have spent the last three days trying to remove a doll from packaging - that was clearly designed to make me completely mental and found myself wishing that I could put the people who did this into a similar life size version of this package and then tell THEM to find their way out - (and yes, I would sew THEIR hair to the package too),

2. I have been busy eating chocolate,

3. The only posts I could think of were ranting about how unfair life is - ...and,

4. I have been busy eating chocolate. ;-D

But now the chocolate is gone, I set the doll on fire and I am back to my EXTREMELY POSITIVE self. I AM EXTREMELY HAPPY. VERY POSITIVE.

But seriously - it's days like this that someone should kick me in the head. I have so much to be grateful for. I should focus on those things, remain positive and know that everything will be just fine. But what I really want is more chocolate - and a gallon of wine. Oh yes, and a private jet... and maybe someone could video tape my ex acting like a donkey's bum and put it on television screens all over town. You know what drives me nuts? That everyone thinks he's such a mellow and nice guy. In reality he's a tyrannical twisted human being who is inherently evil. Just plain old mean. OOPS - BACK TO POSITIVE!!!! KERSMACK!!!!

I have great people. Let me tell you about them in no particular order; (positivepositivepositive)

Babs and Roo - the most incredible kids on the earth. Kind and funny. Sweet and smart. They are - after all - just like their mother (wink wink). I am truly blessed.

Carrie B- Carrie was my room mate 12 years (almost 13) ago. She shared her family with me. I hid koolaide from her. She laughed all the time and was always up for any Liz inspired adventure - no matter how half baked the idea was. She also complemented my cooking - even if it was inedible - and we shared clothes. She never judged me and I always knew that she would be on my side. She has been. Every single time - without question. She's my backbone when I can't find mine and would be slithering around a dirty floor. (Well, okay not THAT dirty - but it could use a dust mop). She came looking for me when I was lost. She held my hand and pointed me in the right direction and always gave good advice. She also introduced me to the love of my life. Pretty good friend, hey?

Kathleen - Kathleen is the kind of wonderful friend who is always there to lend an ear. No matter what. She has a kind heart. She appreciates everything you do for her no matter how small. She would go to the ends of the earth if you needed her - lugging two kids behind her and making sure they had appropriate snacks. She is an incredible mother. She tells the truth. She stands by what she knows is right, and against what she knows is wrong. She does not waiver. She is one of the strongest people I know. She has faith in her friends and in her family. Her heart is bigger than the earth. (How does it fit in her body??!!)

Carrie L- Carrie is the best friend from highschool - jumping- in -puddles-and-eating-candy-until-you-puke kind of friend. The kind of girl that doesn't let too many people see that she has such a kind heart. She comes across as sarcastic and funny all of the time - with this tough exterior - but deep down she has angel's wings. She is easy to laugh. She has astounding wit. She is also kind of like Martha Stewart and her house is always eerily clean. Her hand soap smells delicious - but it doesn't taste that way - trust me. She is very creative. Her dog will live forever. Seriously. She is giving of herself and all that she has. She is so much fun. She also makes really good shortbread.

Taal - Taal is someone who I feel very lucky to have in my life. She is lovely. That is the word for her. She is lovely and she is kind. She gives easily of herself and her many talents. (Martini anyone?) She is a really good person. I am truly happy to hear her voice or to share her company. She is wonderful. I miss seeing her as often as I used to.

Dee - Dee is one of the most patient individuals I have ever met. I don't think I've ever seen her angry or mean. She just doesn't have it in her. She is an amazing mom. She makes terrific coffee. She is kind. She is always smiling.We can look back at all of the years we have been friends and laugh our asses of at some of the stuff we have done. She is a total sweetheart.

Mom - she is an angel. I'm convinced. If she weren't my mother, she would be my friend. She is sweet, kind, smart, beautiful, funny and an incredible cook. She has more energy than three people.

Spartan - Spartan couldn't be left out of this. He is my sweetheart, the love of my life and my very best friend. The person I want to speak to first when something good happens or when something shite happens. The first person I think of in the morning and the last at night. He has the most integrity of anyone I have ever known. He is positive and he is kind. He's also very handsome and makes me feel beautiful. He appreciates everything. His smile could light the earth up. He is intelligent. He is driven. He has a cute hiney. He really is my prince charming. I am so very happy he is in my life. I will spend the rest of my life trying to be good enough to be deserving of such an incredible, wonderful person.

Crazy Linda - She fell into my life with a laugh that could start the world laughing. She is bright, she is crazy. She is utter fun. Adorable.

There are others but for now I think I am done...

There. Now I am feeling better. Amazing how little those awful people are when you actually look at what's important. In the long run - I know that my life will end up just fine. I shouldn't get so caught up in the bullshit along the way.

Off to make dinner and I believe that some wine is in order....

I am filled with Christmas cheer (wine) and roast beast. The roast was reminiscent of the one the Flintstones eat. All these tantalizing treasures that surround us at the holidays seem to taste all the better when surrounded by family... and washing them down with a yummy pinot never hurts.

At the last minute we found out that our 85 year old neighbour was alone this evening; her husband went to Cuba. (at Christmas !?) We forced her to come for dinner. I think she enjoyed herself. She is a really sweet lady. She spent 5 years in a concentration camp. 5 years. What an incredible life. What a journey. I am so glad she was here.

The kids were wide eyed and slightly high on sugar this evening. Babs finally fell asleep after having snuck into my bed. There she was nestled in all of the pillows with her blankie wrapped about her and her bunny snuggled in beside her. I scooped her up and returned her to her bed. I almost crawled in beside her... but I had to help Santa put out the goods. Roo was asleep with a Santa hat firmly on his head with his long eyelashes gently sweeping down over his cheeks - his - almost no longer chubby - cheeks that get less baby and more little man by the day.

The evening is winding down and I am soon off to tuck myself into bed. Merry Christmas everyone! I hope Santa is good to all of you and that all of your Yuletide dreams come true.

http://postsecret.blogspot.com/

Le sigh

I am back.

Christmas number one was magical and full of laughter. Not surprisingly I am a little tired today. Tired and a little sad that the time went so fast that it felt like sand slipping through my fingers. Now it's irrevocably gone but in it's place are heartwarming memories and a happy - albeit lonely - heart. I miss my friends. I missed them before I was even apart from them. I am so lucky to have them in my life.

Christmas number two is fast approaching. The kids are sparkly eyed and excited about the arrival of the jolly one. I am looking forward to having my family around me. It is kind of a special year for that because my brother begins a six month military training course immediately following the holidays - before he is deployed again. I am so proud of him.

To all of you who come here for some reason - lol - I would like to wish you and all of your loved ones a warm, safe and wonderful holiday filled with all of the magic of the season.

Now GO. Eat, DRINK and be merry.

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow

Last night, I spent two hours outside helping neighbours get unstuck on the street. Then I cleaned off the cars and debated shovelling. I decided I would wait for the rest of the snow to fall. This morning I spent several hours shovelling and watching the rest of the neighbours get stuck on the street, wishing I had shovelled some of the snow last night. LOL.

Evidently there is no available plough for our street... I have debated tying snow shovels to the front of my car and driving up and down the street. Though, I'm not entirely sure that it would work so I have resigned myself to waiting for the snowplow to come. If it doesn't come in time for tomorrow - I will be tunnelling my way to the airport. Nothing will stop me from getting there. Though I am kind of wishing I had those snowshoes.

Sadly, this riveting post will be the last for a week or so. Stop your tears! I will return... I am dedicated to my blog dear blog readers.

And now I will show you what the chitlins wrote to Santa....

Dear Santa,
I want a new lego game. I would like a cool pirate boat. I would like craft stuff. Some new play dough would be nice. A new shovel and one more thing; the coolest action figure in the world.
Thank you Santa, for all of my wonderful gifts.
Roo
PS I want Christmas everyday.

Dear Santa,
Maybe I want a video game. A princess one. I would like a doll. I want that Polly Pocket jet and Nanna's bed. I want a dinosaur. I like craft stuff too. I will share the dinosaur with my brother. I also want a skeleton boat.
I want to wish you a happy birthday; I think it's on Thursday.
Love you.
Babs

Man, I love kids.

Speck is on her last fin.

My little baby fish is dying. She was the guppy - the one and only guppy - that I rescued from being eaten by her mother the cannibal. She is almost 2 years old - which is like 7,000 human years. When I first found her she was literally the size of a mosquito larvae. No one actually believed that she WAS a fish until she grew. I knew better.

She is a good little fish. A good little fish who is currently suffering incredibly and just won't let go. Poor little Speck. Never thought I'd get teary eyed over a tiny little guppie - yet here I am finding my eyes welling up with tears intermittently. She was kind of a miracle fish.

Since yesterday, Speck has been floating on her side. Her tail is kind of bent at an odd angle and only one fin appears to be functioning. Yet, when I come near the tank she perks up ever so slightly. You may scoff at that but - she does. I swear it. She knows I'm the one who feeds her. She is a very friendly fish; she thinks I am her mother. Laugh if you will. But she is my little pet and I will really miss seeing her little bug eyed face.

My father very magnanimously offered to help her to a swift demise by reenacting a childhood trauma for me. (Funny, I was just telling this story yesterday...) Anyways, when I was a kid I was sitting underneath the dining room table and my Dad walked by. As he was passing one of my fish committed suicide and flung himself out of the tank. My father promptly - albeit accidentally - stepped on it with his dress shoes and crushed it. Flat. I won't let him do that to Speck. It would scare her. But I can't stand watching her suffer...

(and NO - I'm not flushing her down the toilet either!)

Sigh. I hope by tomorrow she will have gone to the lake in the sky.

Raging Rudolph

Waaaay More Than You Wanted To Know...

1. When you're home alone, do you still close the door when you shower?depends on how cold the bathroom is - usually open so I can crank the music...

2. You win the $300 million power-ball lottery. What do you do?
Crap. This could be a really loooong answer. Well, first I'd call Spartan and say, "Baby, I'm buying an island. Pack yer stuff." I'd have the coolest house built on it. I'd also buy a small plane and have a landing strip put onto the island. We would have a world class chef, a huge wine cellar, a personal trainer and a dog. We'd fly our friends and family in to visit and they would all have their own "theme" rooms to suit their personality. We'd also have to have some ponies for the kids there and a private tutor. Then I'd buy my parents the coolest sail boat ever. I'd send my grandparents up north for a couple of weeks - total their house and rebuild it almost exactly as it was (but without the drafts and better wiring) and I'd also put in a bathroom downstairs and a fully updated kitchen - and I'd build a greenhouse onto the back filled with roses that would bloom all year for my grandmother. I'd buy Kat a restaurant with a baby grand piano in it. I'd buy Carrie a house, Taylor a horse and Kyle a super secret spy room with all the updated spy equipment money could buy. I'd buy my brother and his wife whatever they need. I'd buy a number of my other friends some cool cars and various other items. I'd invest some and then I'd donate to a number of charities. I could go on all day. ;-D

3. Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level? Well. If I'm alone I like it kind of loud.

4. Are you a beach person or a snowy mountain person? If I have to pick... beach.

5. When do you prefer to take a shower, morning or night? Usually morning but sometimes night. I like to mix it up. Keep things a little crazy I always say.

6. Can you watch scary movies alone? Oh yeah. Usually. Okay. No. I totally lied.

7. Soft bed or firm? Firm underneath and then a soft topper. Like princess and the pea. (Keep the stairs baby, they might come in handy one day).

8. Would you rather stay home all day, or be out and about? Depends if I am all alone.... *wink wink*

9. What's one of your worst memories? The time I saw someone drown.

10. Do you like to keep the peace or be confrontational? I like to keep the peace - but I can be confrontational when it is required.

11. Are you more likely to be with a large group of people or a few close?
A few close friends.

12. What are your plans for December? WELL in 5 days and so many hours.... *sigh*... Christmas number one and two and then hitting the gym to work off the gravy and ice cream.

13. Where would you like to live? With my favorite people around me all of the time. Wherever that is - that's where I'd want to live.

14. What is your ideal profession? Well. A writer so that I could work from a beach I suppose.

15. What's on your mind right now? How much I am missing some people. Also, if I have packed enough shoes for next week...

16. What is one fear that you are trying to overcome? Uhhh. I can't tell you. I'm too afraid to.

17. Are you good at math? I think so.

18. What's stashed under your bed? Shoes, a dvd player, a vcr and some photographs. Oooh. And a sock!

19. Is there anyone you regret ever meeting? Um. HELL YES.

20. Would you rather have roommates or live alone? Well roommates of course!

21. Do you like to drive? I don't mind...but I'd totally hand over the keys.

22. What is your favorite thing to wear?

23. If you found out that you were going to be a parent, what would you do? I would scream, "AGAIN?!!" Then faint.

24. Do you give money to homeless people when they ask? Sometimes I do. You can't do it for everyone. But you can offer to buy them a coffee too - especially when it's cold.

25. A weekend in Las Vegas or Key West? Vegas

26. Ever had ugly thoughts about someone you love?
Someone I love? No. People I don't love so much.... yes. But I'm not proud of it.

27. Have you ever made someone so mad that they broke something? Um yep. But I think it was more his anger issues.

28. You have 3 months left to live, what do you do? First, take care of some business in Vegas. Then spend every last minute with my favorite people. I would also take the kids to Disney land and write them letters to open on every birthday from now until they were 80. And I'd laugh every chance I got...and I'd cry a lot. And I'd tell my friends and family how much I love them a million times - just so they didn't forget. (I might also make everyone get a tattoo of me just to make extra extra sure)

29. You're having a bad day, what's one thing that can make your day better? Fresh baked bread, unexpected flowers or a phone call from someone I love. (ooh, or watching someone biff - that's always a pick me up)

30. Is there anything you would change about your body if you could?
Yep. Sure.

31. You wake up in an unfamiliar place, what is your first reaction? What the..

32. Is there anything that you should be doing right now? Going to the gym.

33. If there was a way to know when and how you're going to die, would you like to find out? I JUST DON'T KNOW! I think not. But then again - maybe. I JUST DON'T KNOW!

34. What is your favorite breakfast? Coffee... in bed.

35. Your phone rings at 4 am, who do you expect it to be? Spartan.

36. Last thing you ate? Freshly baked bread, chicken and some soup.

37. One place you will NEVER eat at? Urm. Anywhere outside of the resort. lol. Actually - Fast Eddies.

38. How do you feel about your ex? I think he is a sad little man. I actually really feel sorry for him.

39. Last person you hugged? My daughter. I just put her to bed.

50. What exactly are you wearing? My white Lulu Lemon jacket, yoga pants and running shoes. Yeah. I told you I should be at the gym....

I tag you ALL. Merry xmas.

6 Days... and some amount of hours... refer to the holy countdown clock on the side bar...I have managed not to unpack and do inventory on the suitcases for a period of 24 hours. A good thing.
Yesterday, I was preparing to untie the little tree when the grandparents called and muttered something about helping put up their Christmas tree... and then said something about scalloped potatoes. The race to beat all of the rest of the family to their house to ensure that I got the majority of the top (the browned cheese) was on. I started sneaking it directly out of the pan while no one was looking. Wolf style. I think I managed to eat about three times the normal amount of food. This clearly means I will have gained about 17 pounds. Worth every bite. Will not surprisingly have to spend a solid 24 hour period on the treadmill today... that should be fun.
So, everyone saw the tree firmly affixed to the roof on their way in to eat my scalloped tatoes. Everyone had to comment.

Aunt number one, "Did they pay you to take that tree?"
Aunt number two, "Oh. Hmm. I...uh...see... you got a tree? Did it look like that when you got it?"
Aunt number three... laughing and pointing. Stop. More laughing and pointing.
And my son, upon arriving home from school peered out the window at the tree and with a perplexed little face asked, "Will it look better when it's up?"
OKAY PEOPLE. I LIKE MY TREE. Almost as much as scalloped potatoes...and, you might be hurting the little tree's feelings. It's time to stop.

And now for something completely unrelated...

Carrie and I have come up with a fantastic fundraising idea;

We were talking about how I told Spartan that I wanted to have a wrestling match with him in those sumo wresting suits. She said she wanted in on it. She said so would several of her friends. From there we decided that we would invite the whole neighbourhood and we would charge $10.00 a person - and that we would donate the money to the Children's Hospital. It has taken on epic proportions in our mind's eye. This may just have to be an annual event.

7 DAYS... and a few hours.....

I'm starting to spaz out at regular intervals. I am getting really hyper - filled to the brim with excitement at the fast approach of Christmas number one.

That right beotches - I get to do it twice. And Santa is cool with that.... (I have an "in" cuz we're related). Huzzah.

So anyways - I have packed. Which some of you non-xmasy types might think is a little "early". But as previously mentioned I'M EXCITED. I will probably pack and repack about 6 times between now and then...

Part of the reason I am speeding things up is that I have agreed to take on the offspring of de Kat for a sleepover at the end of the week. This is going to be quite a bit of fun. It also appears that the wee-est of them is getting ready to be walking just in time. *Joy*. I'm sure the older kids will have great fun - I am going to invite them to repaint the basement floor to keep them busy. How do you suppose 4 and 6 year olds are at taping drywall?

Oh! And I bought the cutest little Charlie Brown tree! It cost the same as the other - more "perfect" trees. But I knew that if I didn't take it, it would be all alone in the parking lot for Christmas feeling very alone. :-( And it looked like a very friendly tree so I decided to bring it on home. Later this evening it will be adorned entirely with kid made ornaments. Should be spectacularly tacky. Pics to follow.

After Christmas it will be burnt to the ground with all the decorations still intact. Poor little tree. (Might have been better off in the tree lot...)

Cute Old Folks and Christmas Toys

You know how old people are cute? I just love them. I just want to slap a bib on them and force feed them soup - you know? (kidding)


Today I met a new "old people" (is that somehow politically incorrect to call them that? I'm sure it is, but anyhoo....). This new cute "aged" person was at the gym. He was near 80 and he was so totally adorable. He also was in better shape than almost anyone there - really. He kind of reminded me of Spartan - but in a good way - like that is how I picture him in my mind's eye when he gets older. Like waaaaaay older.


Anyways - this mental projection of Spartan onto this cute fellow instantly made me develop an affinity for him. We talked for an hour. I know everything about him and his entire family right down to all 7 of his grandchildren (which range from 4 to 20 years old). I was 5 minutes away from inviting him and his wife for Christmas dinner - but then with his 4 kids and 7 grandchildren it looks like he won't be alone for the holidays...Makes me wonder about the people who will be alone. There are probably a lot. That makes me kind of sad.


On a lighter note - today I went into the toy section and made all of the Christmas toys start singing. ALL OF THEM. It was suddenly very christmasy let me tell you! There were a lot of people who didn't appreciate that so much - but I did. I laughed for a good 10 minutes... I don't know why, but stuff like that is funnier now than when I was 7. Besides - it is Christmas - just trying to do my part in getting everyone into the Christmas spirit... ** I think I'll go back and do it again tomorrow.


**if making them all look like they were going to murder someone (namely moi) counts, then --- mission accomplished!! Highe fihveh!

MY annual christmas song...

Tis the season to be happy,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Fake it when you're feeling crappy,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Try to find our warm apparel,
Fa la la, la la la, la la la.
Watch Elf to marvel at Will Ferrel,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Set ablaze the bills before us,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Sing the songs - make up the chorus.
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Open up that merlot treasure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
To try to find an ounce of pleasure,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

Quickly down the hatch it passes,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
Open another and pass the glasses,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.

But at least we're all together,
Fa la la la la, la la la la.
To stay warm in the shitty weather,
Fa la la la la, la la la laaaaa.

Birthday Idea! Yay!

I have decided that this year, I am having a birthday party at Chucky Cheese! And we are going to get drunk while we're there. How perfect is that? Kicking kids off the rides and such. Weeeeee! Then maybe we'll beat up the dude dressed as Chucky and steal his costume...and steal all the tickets the kids around us have won so we get get a seriously kick ass prize...

Who's coming?

Told you that you would see me as an elf... as promised...

(Thanks Fish and Moxy for the idea!)

"I'm Happy Just to Dance With You"

The Rules:1. Put your iTunes/ music player on Shuffle
(Okay - I know I'm an idiot - I can't find my music player. It is lost. So I put my itunes on recently played songs - closed my eyes and clicked. Closest I could get. Learned something too; I need to expand my music collection...)

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT(this is in capital letters, so it is very serious. No hiding your showtunes, folks!) After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme themselves!

1. IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY” YOU SAY? "Creepin In" Norah Jones/Dolly Parton. Alrighty then.

2. WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?"These Foolish Things Remind Me of You" Buble. Yep. That about covers it.

3. WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL? "You and I" Buble. Yeah, as I interpret this - Spartan - I like you and I. Can't say that I don't.

4. HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY? "Ain't That a Kick in the Head" Robbie Williams. Well... I wouldn't go THAT far...I thought I was having a good day.

5. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE "For Good" Wicked soundtrack. I'll take it.

6. WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO "Bedtime" Little Mermaid Soundtrack. Well... now that you mention it I AM kind of sleepy...

7. WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU? "Beyond the Sea" Robbie Williams. Yeah, I know they think I'm "out there."

8. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS? "She Talks to Angels" Black Crowes. I have said again and again that my Mother is an Angel on Earth... my Dad gets in just cuz he's with the be-wing-ed one. Sorry pops.

9. WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN? "Let's Get It On" Marvin Gaye. That's not fair. Really. I think about OTHER things sometimes, LOL(This is creepier than the 8 ball)

10. WHAT IS 2+2? "That's All" Buble. Again. Can't argue.

11. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND? "Angels" Robbie Williams. Couldn't have said it better myself.

12. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE? "I Love You" Martina McBride. Wowsa. This is spppoooky.

13. WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY? "Only Time" Enya. Okay. That's kind of boring. But accurate in a way.

14. WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP? "I've Got You Under My Skin" Buble. I'm confused. Not sure where this one is going... can I try again?

15. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE? "Your Song" Moulin Rouge.

16. WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU? "Who Will Save Your Soul" Jewel. I'm sure they did when I was a teenager...

17. WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING? "Carnival Town" Norah Jones. Different. Not altogether horrible but I'm going to ask if we can switch the one in 18 with this one.

18. WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL? "Dream a Little Dream" Buble. Who cares? I'll be dead anyways... let em play what they want to.

19. WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST? "Jig" The Little Mermaid Soundtrack. Again, a little confused by this one.

20. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET? "Happy Ending" The Little Mermaid Soundtrack. Well, that's certainly not a BAD one is it?

21. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS? "Above Ground" Norah Jones. Kind of relieved to hear that. Dead friends aren't nearly as fun to talk to - conversation is decidedly one sided.

22. WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS? "I'm Happy Just to Dance With You" Beatles. Do what the meme commands...

I tag Kat, John, Kaylee and the Troll... and anyone else that would like to join in!

Look what I found!!!

You wouldn't believe the things this has answered for me! The future is clear. (Phew)

Okay actually - for me it remains totally blank. Does this fall into the same category as the bird poop?

(This one, however, has answered everything exactly the way I wanted it to. What a relief.)

I find the anticipation of legs day to be loathsome but once I'm into it I can't really figure out why. Well - I kind of can when I'm somewhere around lunge # 100. At that point I feel kind of like I'm in the last leg (pardon the pun) of child birth but I manage through it.

It is my challenge. I am trying to challenge myself daily- so that might mean being extra patient with a four year old who never seems to get enough food (right Kat?) or to get my tired butt to the gym when I'd rather watch Oprah or widdle wood.

Little victories people. Don't under estimate them...

So anyhoo - I finish my workout and this particular day I didn't find it as hard as I had anticipated.* It feels great. I'm on a high. So as I am arrogantly skipping out to my car and unlocking the door (with a great big triumph laced grin I might add) a bird pooped directly onto my shoulder. Ahhh, point taken. Triumphant grin wiped off my face and poop likewise off my shoulder - I hop into the car and laugh like hell.

I mean COME ON. Shit like this (again... heehee...sorry) only happens to a small number of people - on a regular basis. I'm one of them. Is it something to do with my ID/EGO -whatever- and the universe at large?

Just look for the message people; is it the world keeping you in check? Or... was it just a bird heeding the call of nature. Who knows?

*I may have thought that the workout was easy - but it is likely that tomorrow** - I won't be capable of getting down a flight of stairs without sitting. Maybe I'll ride in a laundry basket - like my god daughter... kind of looks like fun...

**Update - I wrote this a couple of days ago... legs are good but that only means that I have to up the weights next time...which takes me back to that anticipatory loathing...

Drama Prairie Dog

I swear this is how the woman looked at me when I was at Winner's yesterday and scored the last batman toy...

Hello World!

So how come when everyone else in bloggland calls out to lurkers they get gads of posts.... but I don't?

I have lurkers from all around the world. Obviously by now they have a pretty good grasp of the English language or they wouldn't be hanging around here - now would they?

Just type an anonymous comment and sign it with a moniker or an initial. Either that or I will start to hunt you down by IP address and show up on your doorstep with year old Christmas cake - that I will make you eat.

At some point in the near future I have considered placing the blog "underground". Which is to say that I am maybe going to make it private. Not because I don't want you guys to visit - cuz I really do - but because there are certain people in the world I don't want privy to the goings on here. I'm not sure that they are - but I'm also not sure that they aren't. So.... one day I may ask for your emails. Or you may take note of mine. If I add you to the list - it means you can visit. Otherwise - no more funnygirl for you! So at least say hullo while you have the chance...

AND NOW FOR YOUR AMUSEMENT
Yesterday I was on the treadmill and I was listening to the radio with my earphones in. A particularly jaunty version of Frosty the Snowman came on. I guess I must have been overcome with Christmas spirit - I caught myself singing it outloud"ish". Much to the amusement of those around me. Course, they already know I'm "special" - they see me enough that it's hard to avoid that obvious fact. I had this vision that if I sounded like I meant it enough - everyone in the row of 20 or so treadmills would join in and it would be like a scene from a musical. Sadly, it didn't go quite like that. But it's okay.... I've got exactly 2 weeks to get these duds into the Christmas spirit. I think I'll start wearing my elf costume to the gym. That will definitely help. I don't suppose it would be the appropriate place to bring Christmas cookies...maybe they should come up with a Christmas power bar for just such an occasion. I think I'm onto something here.

I am not paranoid, and I am not delusional... but yesterday I was on the phone with Spartan. He was making soup.

He poses the question "Should I eat the soup if it's expired?"
I'm like, "Well, HOW expired? And...what kind of soup?"
"Tomato, March 2007."
"Does the can look bloated?"
"Uh. Nope."
"Right, well. If it's tomato it should be fine."

Like what kind of soup matters and really, an expiry date is an expiry date when all things are considered. But it just seemed that it should be fine. You know - logically. How many times have we consumed a can of soup without even looking to see if it was past it's date? It's not like yogurt!! It's sealed. In a can.

Anyways, after I proffered my advice upon him rather carelessly - I didn't think much about it again. But when I fell asleep - I had a nightmare that it made him really sick. Obviously my subconscious self was appalled at my conscious self. It was terrible. Awful. AND all my fault.

So this morning I set about doing some research and you will all be very relieved to find that this is why they attach an expiry date;

"The date code displayed on our products is a best used by date. This means that in order to experience optimal color, flavor, aroma and texture the product should be consumed prior to the end of the month displayed on the product. For example, in order to experience optimal quality a product with a date code that reads JUN07 or JUN2007 should be consumed prior to the end of June of the year 2007."

Okay - so really I had nightmares that he got sick and almost died but really the worst thing that could have happened is that the soup wouldn't be the "perfect" red colour. (They just want you to throw it out and buy more. Scammers.)

At first I was all filled up with relief - but...I'm a little pissed at Campbell's right now. Grrrrr. SOMEONE MIGHT GET A LETTER.

Anyways - you may consider this information useless but - at least if a loved one asks you and you say the same thing I did - you won't be riddled with terrible nightmares as a result.

In other news;
It snowed here last night. A LOT. The neighbour is snow blowing the sidewalk because he is a nice little elf. Obviously I haven't been watching the weather channel as religiously as usual because I didn't know that it was going to snow. I feel it is almost a personal insult that I was unaware. Can't really explain that.

Well, I'm off to find my snowshoes. (They are very fashionable; I took a bedazzler to them last year... they sparkle like diamonds ....). I'm kidding. I don't really have a pair. But if I did - I would bedazzle them all to hell...

Happy December!

It is finally December! It is snowing outside. I love Christmas. Have I mentioned that before? This time of year has a bit of magic in it.

Magic like the kind that made me recognize someone I had only met for five seconds from the waist up - on a deck - a day later when he was walking a fair distance away and I could only see him from behind. Somehow I knew it was him. There is no explaination for this but to assume that there was some seredipity at work (Serendipity is the effect by which one accidentally discovers something fortunate, especially while looking for something else entirely.) and perhaps a touch of magic. I was looking for plates and cups and I found my Spartan. And the way the world appeared to me shifted in that moment and made everything in it just a bit more beautiful in every way.

This is a time of year - that despite all of the things that are stressful and frustrating... and right now there are plenty - that I acknowledge how blessed my life has been. How many truly wonderful people are in my life and how much I value them. There isn't a thing in the world I would trade for them and I am so grateful that they are in my life.

Now... to lighten the mood. A gift for you bloggers....