Having firmly established that my punishment for eating my children's Easter candy is that my face has broken out - I have now decided that I will not steal any more candy from children. At least not this year. Or... at least not candy belonging to MY children. (Your children? Different story.) Damn Easter for coinciding with PMS. The gods must be angry. Probably because I curse them so often... and so loudly. Especially when stubbing my toe... which come to think of it I do more often than most people for some inexplicable reason.
Today - I gazed into the mirror only to recoil in horror upon realizing that I have two spots upon my previously spotless visage. Certainly not the end of civilization by any means - but it is at least disappointing. More so because Spartan will possibly witness this mini-catastrophe next week. I figure a few more spots will appear in the next few days - and they may not completely go away. Which means I will have to hold my arms at a very odd and completely unnatural angle in a vain attempt to disguise my new flaws (he's used to the old ones... or... he may be visually impaired...) . I am also considering employing a new hair style that is sort of Veronica Lake-ish - only covering slightly more than half of my face. Perhaps a paper bag* with a great big happy face will accomplish two things; tell Spartan how happy I am to see him - and hide my hideous disfigurement.
Lastly - and to make you all point at me and laugh - I finally decided to use the hair dye that I purchased a few months ago to rid myself of the grey hairs... I only left it on for 15 minutes but I figured it was long enoughish. Rinsed it out... styled it. What do I see??!!! Grey hairs. Hmmm. I read the box - OHHHHH - it doesn't cover grey. Fantastic. I should get some kind of trophy for that one. For some reason I have been granted some level of intelligence that only presents itself when completely unnecessary. Which makes it about as useful as a chocolate teapot.
*When I looked on ebay to see how quickly one might appear on my doorstep - I found that people are quite shameless and will evidently sell anything....