Sunday, December 04, 2005

Spiders are Yummy

20 days till Christmas. We finally got the decorations on the Christmas tree last night. Most of them have since been pulled off and tossed all around the house in a joint effort by short people and furry beasts. Why did I forget that part of the holidays? It must have been a mental block. Although I did just get a glimpse of myself in a pregnant heap - doing the ugliest cry humanly possible with snot running down to my chin a few years back. There lay my crumpled tree - some of it at my feet and some of it scattered throughout the kitchen (and the bathroom, and the bedroom ....and the basement) I don't remember what I did with the cat - but he has truly never been the same. Every ornament painstakingly handpainted and tassled - destroyed. (That is why I have since resorted to the dollar store for my decorating needs - but only until my "Christmas tree bubble" is patented and no little creatures can touch the tree...oooh or better yet a holographic tree). I actually cancelled xmas and packed up everything in the house remotely x-mas only to unpack it all later that day and redistribute it shamefacedly throughout the Frank abode. Poor Rooey just toddled along behind my patting my leg and saying - ok mummy ok. (Really inside his head he was saying WHOA THERE CRAZY LADY he just couldn't formulate the words yet...) We must have been drugged that this commotion didn't wake any of us. That would be the one night I sleep through everything - I usually wake up if anyone in the house so much as loses an eyelash.
Great segue (sp?)- I saw this funniest home videos where the guy was asleep on the couch and his kid was video taping him because he saw a spider crawl into his mouth. (First of all - I would sooooo kill my kid if they didn't immediately go in after it {okay I'd even forgive someone spraying Off into my mouth to kill it}- and secondly, please god say I would wake up and hawk that furry little loogy against the wall so hard it would never crawl again!) Then the guy sort of smacked his lips a few times and the belegged little thing crawled back out - all the while the kid laughed. Would have been worse I suppose if - it didn't crawl back out again - and the guy woke up and was like "What? What's with the video camera?")
I actually considered duct tape over the mouth before I went to bed that night. I might have to consider it again, having recounted the story in such detail.


Kat said...

got any extra tape?

if an eyelash falls in the night and there is noone there to hear it, does it do a little dance, tickle your nose and then curl up beside you and say 'goodnight'?

elizabeth said...

No it trys to start an all out riot with the other eyelashes. I've seen it happen and it's just no good.

Tobiwan said...

This totally reminded me of an article I remember reading about a long time ago about humans consuming spiders and other insects in their sleep.

I did a quick google search and stumbled upon this interesting website:,5753,-23997,00.html