Thursday, September 21, 2006

A couple of tidbits....

1. Jackass Two is coming out - will this be a rental or a go to? Please advise. Keep in mind my fear of midgets. Do you think they will look less midget like on the big screen or just like really big midgets?

2. Yippee it's Thursday - this means good TV. What snacks should I get on the way home for good TV? Feedback people.

3. Where the hell did Badger go?

4. Should I "Kill with kindness", or "Kick the bottom" of a co-worker - who is a complete and utter wench (but she has great smelling hair, at least she's got that going for her... and she's not stupid so there's that, and I suppose she is pretty, and she dresses really well - but she's mean to me for no reason that I can surmise) I think kindness. But thus far it has not worked for me. (insert mental image of me pouting here)

5. Is it a sign of mental illness that I am overly fond of statistics? 28% of people think so.

6. Why do men, on the highway IN A CAR try to pick you up on the drive to work? Unless you think I can telepathically send you my phone number, there is little chance of further communications. And even if I could - it is likely that I wouldn't give you the phone number - since boys are dumb. Especially ones who talk on cell phones and try to pick women up on the highway.

7. Lastly, is it bad that my daughter sings "Itchy Bitchy Spider" instead of "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and I have started doing it too? Wrong message?


Carrie in BC said...

1. I'd say go to the theatre and try and conquer that fear of midgets...remember, they can't jump out of the screen. The only complication I see is if one is sitting next to you in the theatre.

2.Scince it is now Friday, I must say a bottle of Vodka and some peanut butter M&M's.

3. Maybe Badger is on a Holiday?

4. I think you should put super glue on her phone, send her dead flowers and tell a really ugly guy that she wants him and he should ask her out.

5. I kinda find the whole statistic thing neat. I use your statistics at parties and everyone thinks I am so cool (well that's what my little mind thinks, I will just leave it that way). Besides, if you stopped doing the statistics, I wouldn't be cool anymore.

6. The only guys in cars that try and pick you up are either short or have small issues below the belt, this way you can only see from the chest up and can't make an educated decision because you can't see the whole package. And they talk on their cell phone's because they think it makes them look cool like they have friends. Occasionaly you get the odd hot guy trying to pick you up at 110km, just a fluke, their must be something wrong with him.

7. I think you should write a book "Altered Nursery Rhymes", for kids 12 and older of course, your little monkeys come up with some pretty funny versions of songs. As for being wrong, I'd say yes but it is funny so that is pulling my in the other durection.

Now if you excuse me, I have to go and put a band-aid on my "magic binger"

elizabeth said...

Hey retred - it isn't Friday yet. Stop drinking before work.

Hope your magic binger feels better soon.

Kat said...

GREY'S IS BACK!!!!!!!!!
I'm a gonna have some chippies and a big fat glass of milk. If I weren't pregnant, that'd just be a giant bottle of very red wine.

wv- gynguy- wtf?

Elizabeth McClung said...

As for co-worker, I suggest getting really drunk and THEN tell her what you REALLY think of her - that always seems to open up dialogue.

As no car, haven't been picked up by guy in car but that sounds pretty odd - is there no off or even Pause button on male libedo?

Itchy bitchy spider sounds like a good way to someday get around explainy why she is so itchy bitchy as well as having a craving for donuts under story: Itchy Bitchy spider gets a visit from Aunt Flo.

Stef said...

I haven't got a clue about badgers or jackass but I think points 4, 6 and 7 are related.

Let me explain.
6. Men in cars try and pick you up because -to be frank- you're really quite attractive. What have they got to loose? Sad, yes but a fact of life. My clever, charming and attractive wife keeps getting chatted up on the way to or from work.

4. Your colleague is jealous and/or threatened by you and her natural reaction -common to a lot of people, particularly women I'm afraid to say- is to be a complete bitch.

7. Your daughter, clever little tyke that she is, knows this.

funchilde said...

1. i'm nominating "itchy bitchy spider" as my 2007 theme song. though i try to remain positive, the potential mayhem and smiles these lyrics may cause might be worht it. Indeed, this should be on a t-shirt.

2. I had that same question about guys that try to pick you up that way (or any other) its just annoying. And my brother told me the most brilliant thing ever = its a NUMBERS game, it only has to work ONCE! And knowing some skanky danky hoes...I can imagine that it has.

3. Your fondness of statistics is evidence of your oprah-esque genius for connecting with your audience.

4. As for your coworker. Kill that biatch with kindness. As my mom says, don't let people that don't matter rent space inside your head. invite her to lunch, pass along a funny article, give her a Hershey's Hug and keep on walking. Never let em see you sweat.

Yoga Korunta said...

Elizabeth, you are way hot! As for your hunger, tomorrow is Friday Food Blogging!

P.L., there is a "Rest" button. It is engages after the "Cum" button!

Elohelae said...

I used to beleive that as I got past my teenage years I would stop being as Horny as I was.. Nope got worse... but the self control switch is always easy to activate.

However I have only tried to pick up a girl once while driving and damnit she flirted with me first :)

I will watch jackass 2 as the first was train wreck humor and unfortunately i like that.

And itchy bitchy spider should have other suggestions for the rest of the song lol

george86 said...

1- I LOVE midgets so if we normal sized people have a certian allocation of midgets to us can I have your share?

2-it really is friday here in oz

3-I think badger has a girlfriend and has ditched the world of bloggers

4-switch the m and n keys on her keyboard at work. this will drive her mad and make her think she is dyslexic. fun for the whole family

5-72% think not

6-these men are multitaskers and obviously go getters in the banking industry. hot hot hot

7-i love itchy bitchy spider!

Joe the Troll said...

#1 - Why would it be EITHER? Rent something made by Hitchcock, Kubrick, or Capra. You can't go wrong with the classics.

#5 - 87% of all statistics are completely fabricated.

#6 - You ARE a doll.... what can I say?

Slyde said...

i wouldnt worry about the spider comment. My son's friend says "dumb fuck" instead of dump truck...

thats WAAAY worse...

badgerdaddy said...

Somebody ask after me?

I've been mega busy, and working, and travelling. Note that I was not busy with work, as that was listed seperately.
For the record.

I've been to Bulgaria (really, really nice), and Ukraine (also really nice, with unbelievably beautiful women everywhere. And cheap beer. I did think I may have died for a while) in the last couple of weeks.

Also, I hurt my back by not doing anything (yes, an injury from inactivity while resting a knee injury. Dammit!), so haven't been on the 'puter so much.

What else have I been up to... Spending plenty of time with SFH, finding a new place to live back in my home town (I move on october 9 - expect a new blog shortly afterward), and just generally doing stuff.

Does that explain where I've been? However, I have been keeping up to date with your lovely blogs, you mark my words... In fact, I was reading this one in Kiev just a couple of nights ago, but didn't play the Borat clip just in case...

badgerdaddy said...

Just a thought.... when you asked after Badger, it was me you were asking after, right?

Fuck, wish I hadn't posted this second one now: WV = ygmocqkr

Steven Novak said...

Jackass 2...

Howzabout a never see?

And it's not a sign of mental illness that you are fond of statistics...but the fact that you want to see Jackass 2 might be. ;)


elizabeth said...

Whoa - go away for a day and look what happens.

What I have surmised from the comments - all of my problems are because I am perty. (;-)

I can deal with that. Better than being itchy bitchy.

I'll be back later to entertain you with individual responses and regale you will stories of basements, cops and the US Consulate. But I might get to one before the other and maybe something other than all of them first. If that makes any sense. (I've had too much coffee and nowhere near enough REM this week)

PS - So totally switching her n and m keys. I love you George.

B.E. Earl said...

Gotta agree with Steve on this one.

Jackass 2 shows me that the world sucks, in general, that it would allow such a film to exist.

Shame on you, Lizzie!

badgerdaddy said...

Only just noticed this - the 's' and 'e' are missing from that 'Badger Sexing' sign.

Ooooh - vlocano god wv! 'ranoa'