Saturday, October 27, 2007

The grocery store. Why do they play so much goddamn Celine Dion and Journey? I mean - don't get me wrong - I do enjoy the odd song. But it's a pandemic. Bothersome.

Then - as I was being annoyed by someone behind me who had a screaming child (which is entirely unfair since once upon a time - not that long ago - that was me... but I was annoyed none the less) and I turned to give her a malevolent stare - it suddenly occurred to me that this was really - terribly unkind of me.

WHY would I shoot her the stink eye? It's not HER fault now is it? So I very appropriately redirected my crushing gaze to the offensive noise making toddler. (PMS anyone?). But when my eyes settled upon the little tot... my heart kind of constricted. Despite the fact that her little face was all screwed up and red with snot everywhere - she was adorable. So then I smiled at her, and she stopped crying, rubbed her eyes and turned to wipe her snotty little face allover her mother's sweet potato stained t-shirt. Then the defeated looking bedraggled mother sort of half shrug-smiled at me and I - instantly wished I could be struck down by that big Monty Python hand. Sigh. Then, the kid turned and smiled back at me. Yep. I suck.

This is where I come to confess my sins. I feel better now.

I won't, however, confess speeding up to steal the parking space from the old man. (WHAT? I couldn't SEE the walker until he got OUT OF THE CAR!) Not today. Nope. I'll save that one up for another day of self loathing.

(P.S. I WAS hungry at the time - but not to worry, I have replenished my supply of emergency protein bars once again so the world should be safe... for another couple of weeks...)


Kat said...

You do realize that your kids are going to have the melt down of their lives now sometime soon. And at the most inopportune moment. ;o)

elizabeth said...

Like at a funeral or something. LOL. Ah well - i deserve it.

Joe the Troll said...

It sounds to me that you helped both the mom and the child, so you're good! Except you screwed the old guy over, so it evens out.

elizabeth said...

lmao. Exactly!

Monkey said...


Great blog!

elizabeth said...

Why thank you Monkey!

(does LMMAO stand for: Laughing My Monkey Ass Off?)

i am the diva said...

last night i did some grocery shopping at 10:30 at tnight, it was the most peaceful and serene shopping experience of my life. Now to convince B-rad that ALL shopping must be done just before midnight. yeah.