Friday, June 02, 2006

What Fish?

This was a "request blog" - for you Carrie from Ontario.... now you can feel famous. ;-D

I had a sweet 16 party for my friend in highschool (Carrie - my puddle jumping pal). My parents just happened to be out of town that weekend. And what a weekend it was. Everyone and their brother showed up. The garage was converted into a hotbox and the pool ended up being a puke receptacle. (I'm eating egg salad as I write this and very nearly heaved....).

While we were out and about picking up beer and vodka and cigarettes - such rebels - I thought to myself "Why, we need some snacks too - don't you think?". Carrie readily agreed and off we went to Fortino's. While meandering through the aisles looking for munchies we came upon the fish tank full of rainbow trout at the back of the store. Others may have walked past without a though. Not me. My eyes alit with genius mischief.
"Excuse me? How do people take these fish home?"
a quick reply "We can fillet them or leave that for you. What'll it be?"
"... do you have large plastic bags?"
He stares at me for a moment. "Uh huh."
"Would the fish fit in there with enough water to keep it alive?"
He stares and against his better judgement a small smile forms at the corners of his mouth, "Maybe."
"I'll take that one."

He is kind enough to double bag it and away to the check-out we go. The journey there almost achieved celebrity status. People stopped and stared, they pointed and some laughed and the store was abuzz with conversation. We reached the checkout very near hysterical giggling. Off we go home with the rainbow trout in hand. Upon reaching home we filled the bathtub to capacity and plunked our little friend into the tub. We watched him swim. Once we were assured he was happy with his new home we set about finding something for him to eat. We first attempted bread - too messy. Bread was removed and replaced with some hot dogs. That seemed to satisfy us. Off we went. We affixed a sign on the downstairs bathroom door that told party goers it was "OUT OF SERVICE, PROCEED TO UPSTAIRS HALLWAY BATHROOM".

Then we waited for out guests. We never said a word. People arrived in droves and very quickly went about the business of getting stupid drunk and/or high. Eventually someone had to pee. Up the stairs. Toilet flushes. A long time passes. Person emerges from bathroom looking confused and unsure of how to explain. So nothing is said but an increasing number of people are sitting around looking lost. Eventually someone in overheard saying "Is that a fish in your bath tub?" and everyone previously looking lost looks unmistakably releived. Laughter ensues. Ridiculous drunken nervous laughter.

Funnier still - no one ask why... they just got in on the joke. As new people arrived - not a word was said and the above scenerio played itself out over and over again that night.

The next day we cleaned up the majority of the vomit, ate some corn flakes and took the fish for a walk to the near by stream where we set him free.

That was one hell of a fun party.

PS. Many of the dance moves seen here - were done that night. Seriously.

4 comments:

Kat said...

I must have been seriously wasted because I remember none of that. Tiny flashes of that smoke filled garage and maybe a pool? Dunno. Good on ya for the memory Liz...I'm impressed.

(don't remember the fish either, but it's very sweet that you set it free LOL)

elizabeth said...

Yep. Unfortunately the creek wasn't very deep. But who knows - maybe it evolved...grew feet...

NOTHING said...

lol thats awsome...no one asked why,wish i could of been there to see it

elizabeth said...

Hey nothing - throw a party!