Good Morning Sunshine

Family dinners around my house were always really fun growing up. Especially when we played little tricks on each other. But sometimes this backfired...

I played a joke on my Mom with the aid of these really magnificent fake carpenter ants... they appeared to be walking all around the kitchen counter and into the food and all the way to the fridge. And into the fridge. Anyways - many laughs about the fake ants after we scraped my Mother of the ceiling (she thought for a millisecond they might be spiders). Apparently she didn't notice the ones in the fridge. Well - our cleaning lady did. And she flipped out. It was an unexpected reward for my previous nights efforts. She really didn't beleive they weren't real. Too funny. They kept showing up for years and years in the most unexpected places.

Then the very next week I awoke to hear the same lady shrieking from somewhere in the house - I ran all over the place (assuming more ants...) and found her in the basement curled up in a ball on the floor waving a broom about her head. I managed to calm her enough for her to tell me that there was a bird or a bat flying around the basement trying to "get" her. (since most birds and bats find housekeepers delicious - little known fact). So - I see the creature in question - a starling - and I get a dress shirt from the pile of ironing. My idea being that we could sort of catch the little fellow in the shirt and get him outside. Problem was - every time we got close to catching him Sheila (housekeeper) fell to the ground and took her half of the shirt with her - and it took my half of the shirt and it in turn took me down. This wasn't really effective but we kept on doing it since we hadn't a better plan -- until we scared the bird into a window (house was a walk out) and it seemed to have broken it's neck. I picked up the bird. Lay him gently in my hand (on his wee back with his curled little yellow feet sticking up in the air) and walked somberly towards the door. Once outside I decided to look really closely (and I have no idea why really but did so nonetheless) and CAPOW he wakes up and flys directly into my face. I nearly shit my pants and almost knocked Sheila into the pool.
That was the last time Sheila ever showed up for work. Imagine that.