Wednesday, May 10, 2006

Things That Make Me Go, Hmmmm?

I was driving home tonight and saw a man on rollerblades who looked so totally idiotic I had to stop and stare for an inappropriate amount of time. He was a total disaster. Maybe 45 ish, bald and round in a bright orange shirt - with no ability to balance whatsoever. Looked like a pumpkin on wheels - that kept falling down. Funnier still was the fact that he really and truly thought himself a sex-god. He was really proud of himself and giving me the come hither grin (well I did stop the car to stare at him so... not really his fault). Now - don't get me wrong.... I'm all for getting into shape and so on. Really I am. But some things should be done in private... or at least in the dark.

Then there was the woman at the park with a true and honest "gunt". (Carrie from BC - she'd have made you proud.) I can't really go into much detail about that.... I will only say that it is a combo word (breakfast +lunch = brunch) but using the words gut and a word I cannot permit myself to say (gut+ &8@! = gunt). It was horrid. Awful. It actually hung out under her shirt and I found myself gagging. THAT IS NOT NORMAL. It isn't. The human body was not meant to be pushed to such limits.

Gunts and mullets. Two things the world could do without. If they were both on the same specimen - I would have to run home for the digital camera. I only hope if we are invaded by aliens - they don't choose one of the two individuals described above and clone them or anything. That would be awful. Ooh or worse - have them breed. Ick.

13 comments:

Elizabeth McClung said...

I need more clarification because if you combined the two words I think you did - I can't see it hanging out of her SHIRT - unless some sort of bizaare gigantism relating to a rampant yeast infection occurred. Gut and C*nt?

elizabeth said...

Well - she had these sort of stretch pants on and this short shirt. It was sort of squished up over the pants and hung out on display. Wasn't pretty t'all.

Cheezy said...

Aha, the 'bran muffin' look. I anticipate seeing a few (thousand) of those around these parts, this coming summer :-/

george86 said...

I allways see ladies with the gunt walking around the shopping centre in the suberbs of my city, I love that they leave the house thinking "I LOOK HOT" then they go 2 supercuts to get their mullet trimmed.

george86 said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
elizabeth said...

Cheezy - The bran muffin look. That's very clever! Too bad I was eating a bran uffin for breakfast...

George - Do you think they get a discount on their 'mullet trim' because the hair stylists feel sorry for them - or charged more in hopes they don't come back?

Tobiwan said...

Gunt~I'm pretty sure I've seen one of these before (I used to live in a town known for their high % population of Obese people), but what do you call it when a male has this condition?

Gudgey?

elizabeth said...

Hey yall - I'm a blog administrator. Sounds important - might just add it to my resume... lol.
tobiwan - hmmm. Gudgey might just work. Beer Gut? Why is the men get out of the gross factor on this one? We have to give this some thought...

B.E. Earl said...

At least mullets can be fixed rather easily with a pair of scissors. Gunts? Not without recurring trips to the gym (or the surgeon).

Blech!

elizabeth said...

I think you are right about the surgeon - once you've got a firmly established gunt there's no gym that can fix it.

B.E. Earl said...

What's more horrifying than the word gunt? The term "firmly established gunt". Way to raise the bar!

Hip Girlz said...

I don't think I've ever had the misfortune of seeing a "gunt." Truly too hideous!

elizabeth said...

Then you, my dear, are mighty lucky!