Sunday, May 21, 2006

WHEN WE LADIES DRINK TOO MUCH

1. WE HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE OUR PURSE IS.
2. WE BELIEVE THAT DANCING WITH OUR ARMS OVERHEAD AND WIGGLING OUR BUTT WHILE YELLING "WOO-HOO!" IS TRULY THE SEXIEST DANCE MOVE AROUND. (it is)
3. WE'VE SUDDENLY DECIDED THAT WE WANT TO KICK SOMEONE'S ASS AND HONESTLY BELIEVE WE COULD DO IT TOO.
4. IN OUR LAST TRIP TO PEE, WE REALIZE THAT WE NOW LOOK MORE LIKE A HOMELESS HOOKER THAN THE GODDESS WE WERE JUST FOUR HOURS AGO
5.WE START CRYING AND TELLING EVERYONE WE SEE THAT WE LOVE THEM SOOOOO MUCH.
6. WE GET EXTREMELY EXCITED AND JUMP UP AND DOWN EVERY TIME A NEW SONG PLAY'S BECAUSE "OH MY GOD! I LOVE THIS SONG!" (well - not so much these days but once upon a time...)
7. WE'VE FOUND A DEEPER/SPIRITUAL SIDE TO THE GEEK SITTING NEXT TO US. (these days that would be our date)
8. WE'VE SUDDENLY TAKEN UP SMOKING AND BECOME REALLY GOOD AT IT
9. WE YELL AT THE BARTENDER, WHO WE BELIEVE CHEATED US BY GIVING US JUST LEMONADE, BUT THAT'S JUST BECAUSE WE CAN NO LONGER TASTE THE GIN. (or we kiss him)
10. WE THINK WE ARE IN BED, BUT OUR PILLOW FEELS STRANGELY LIKE THE KITCHEN FLOOR (or the mop? or the bathroom floor... depends who you are...lol)
11. WE FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE TOILET LID'S DOWN WHEN WE SIT ON IT. (or we fall right into the toilet)
12. WE TAKE OUR SHOES OFF BECAUSE WE BELIEVE IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT WE'RE HAVING PROBLEMS WALKING STRAIGHT. (you mean it isn't?)

9 comments:

Elizabeth McClung said...

You forgot the classic - Break up with your boyfriend/girlfriend by calling her all sorts of names at the top of your lungs and thowing things at her and then wonder the next morning when you can't remember anything, why she isn't returning your calls.

elizabeth said...

Or why some girl/guy you don't remember meeting is calling you to arrange the date you agreed to.
(uhhhh..... what did he look like what did he look like....)

Carrie in BC said...

#4 happens to me all the time, I can't freakin figure it out, although I am a cute hooker!

Slyde said...

man, i wish i was a cute hooker....

The Watcher said...

Ooooo, ye did have a bit o' grog that night, didn't ye, m'Lassie!

elizabeth said...

wee bit - just a wee bit

funchilde said...

oh shit, i totally committed 2, 6, 8, 9, and 12 just this week!
you are so insightful. how did i live before i found this site?

elizabeth said...

Good week then!
(wv - ruguddz - are you good guys- lol)

lg said...

lol :)