Monday, May 01, 2006

Okay - My Adoring Fans.... I am the weirdo magnet

I generally don't make fun of handicapped people...

I went to an Ancaster Community Theatre performance on Saturday. First - I don't know how many of you have dared to walk the halls of your old highschool - but it is a strange experience. Strange and disturbing. I was immediately overcome with the urge to defy authority, so when they told us the door we were supposed to use - I had to actually restrain myself from using the other one. Then I used the washroom marked "Staff Only" because I am a rebel and always will be.
I am surprised at how much talent goes untapped by Canadian Idol. It was a very eclectic mix of oldies and some new songs. My favorite had to be Proud Mary - fanfrickintastic people! The kind of stuff you see only in superb movies like Sisteract. Angela was a star! The smoke machine and sparkly costumes were the icing on the cake - and the lighting and sound guys -you rock.

At intermission - I was mingling. I took it upon myself to observe and noted the over abundance of geriatric patients in the auditorium. The average age was over 80 - not kidding. (flashback to the "Like a Virgin" when the ladies touched themselves in a suggestive way and figured the old folks home would be a-buzz tonight.... and so would the cardiology unit at the local hospital...). Anyhoo - so there I was chatting away with my friend Angela's Mother and her entourage when BLAMO - I become "strange people magnet". This happens unexpectedly and it happens often. (I seem to have inherited this from my Mother.) Anyways - this really sweet girl - who just happens to be handicapped -decides to befriend me. And I don't just mean she said hi and chatted for a minute. NOOOOOOOO. She followed me around - bestowed kisses on me and petted me all over. She was rather fond of me and rather immediately decided she might keep me. At the time I was sitting with my friend Carrie and she keeps looking at me with this "how do I escape look" and I keep thinking "YOU - what about me? " And then - my little friend attempted to lick Carrie on the face. But then she was distracted by the softness of my legs... and so... that was weird... and then she flexed for me. Funny too - was when she did this call me thing with her thumb and baby finger. I was a little unsure of myself at that point. I turned to Carrie and in a very dry tone said "Well. At least I know I've still got it.". She laughed so hard she nearly puked and had way more fun than any friend really ought to at another's' expense.

It's okay though. I know one day I'll get her back. (check your "soak-er tub" for a trout...) ;-D

Worth mentioning was the time that Carrie (from BC) and I went to the cowboy bar. We had a few drinks and got up to dance to some kickass Dixie Chicks - and were joined by a very nice fellow in a wheel chair. This was good - we all danced and he seemed quite nice. Until we attempted to leave the dance floor. We thought it was a fun thing to - you know pull him around in the wheel chair - dancelike -- but he got a hold of Carrie's hands at the end of the song and wouldn't let go. So it went from bad to worse when she started trying to run away and ended up dragging him all the way across the bar with a look of mounting terror on her face. I dubbed him the "vehicular stalker". And Carrie and I laughed a lot about that. Actually - I laughed... she just kind of whimpered.

I'm actually still laughing.

6 comments:

elizabeth said...

I used the word BLAMO two posts ago. I didn't realize I used that word commonly. Humph.

Elizabeth McClung said...

You may think you have "it" but seems like Carrie really has a super amount of "it" - personally, I draw the line at flirting when the person starts to lick me - somehow, all the subtly seems to be gone by then.

Have you seen Murderball - which is a realistic look at wheelchair athletes - with one brother saying: "You know, everyone thinks he's a jerk and a B*stard because he became paralysed, but actually, he was like that before, he really hasn't changed personality at all."

elizabeth said...

Yes - both Carrie's have "it". I have two Carrie's. One here and one in BC. Just trying to confuse everyone!
Murderball. Nope haven't seen it but will put it on my list. Sounds funny.

elizabeth said...
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Carrie in BC said...

I am still whimpering....

elizabeth said...

I'm STILL laughing.