Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Hound of the Baskervilles

Last night around 10:00 I was watching a movie (not so good - Derailed). Sitting on the couch out of the corner of my eye I see - a horse running through the back yard. Surely it was a horse - what other than a horse is that big or runs that fast? I look - I look again - and I rub my eyes. A dog? Mother of god it is a dog. The biggest dog I've ever seen! I had some suspicion that this might be the dog belonging to the girl who moved into the church mance at the end of the street. The same girl who has let her lawn turn into a field. (I'll get her for that later - actually thought I might mow a message into her lawn - what say you blogfriends?) So I get a stick and head towards the house. Meanwhile - the dog hears me and decides to taunt me on my journey. I swear I could him uttering "yummy yummy in my tummy" at me. After some silly "hiding in the neighbours yard" antics and trying to sound authoritative "YOU GO HOME!" - I reached her door.
She's maybe 19. Talking on the like oh my god phone to her totally wicked friends. She laughed and flipped her hair. This is the third time he has totally gotten away. And she just can't figure out how (!) Um - okay dipshit. Maybe you could try a dogpen. Or maybe a collar that actually fits since he slipped his gigantic teeth ridden head right out of it - really have no idea how she could have gotten one TOO BIG for this dog - it is HUGE. Or - keep the f-ing mammoth inside your house. Since it might eat the children as scooby snacks if it gets away during the day. STUPID people.

15 comments:

Tobiwan said...

Crop Circles!

elizabeth said...

Awesome idea.
(I just put a rather funny note on her front door - muawhahahahahaha - I'll give her 48 hours to comply...)

B.E. Earl said...

Any clue what kind of doggie it was?

elizabeth said...

Looked like a cross between a rottweiler, a shepherd, a mastiff and a pitbull ..... and a dragon.

elizabeth said...

Spawn of the devil type of "doggie"

NOTHING said...

lol, good luck with ur naighbor troubles, at my old house i had naighbor troubles, they nocked down our back fens cus they didnt like it

Elizabeth McClung said...

good story, but you left out the critical part - is the hair-flipping 19 year old dating anyone and how does she feel about older women? There is some sort of breed that I have seen here on the west coast that looks like a small bear - that's scary. Besides, I thought Big dogs didn't eat children, just smaller dogs (dog eat dog - wait for groan)

elizabeth said...

I'll have to ask her that next time I run her over. I mean run into her. Not over her. Silly me.

elizabeth said...

Hey nothing - that wasn't very neighbourly of them.

lg said...

Hi Elizabeth
i love dogs but that sounds a little scary! id be keeping the number of the dog catcher on speed dial
just tell her the people a few doors down are crazy and want to catch and cook it as it will feed them for weeks, that might make her do something about it lol

george86 said...

I love the ridiculous feeling you get in your tummy as you try to yell authoritatively at strange dog's. "YOU GO HOME" "STOP BAD DOG! STAY!" You just know nieghbors are peeping through thier windows thing "what is that foolish woman doing with that shatland pony?"

george86 said...

Shetland pony

elizabeth said...

lg - really like that idea (I usually like dogs too)

george - EXACTLY. They all think I'm nuts anyways...lol

Anonymous said...

Shatland, Shetland... omg, I nearly sprayed my turkey wrap all over my computer screen. Thanks for the laugh!!!

elizabeth said...

Hey! WHAT AM I - CHOPPED LIVER?