Friday, May 05, 2006

"I want to father your children!" and other stories...

Well. Now that I've got your attention...

I decided to go to Toys R Us today to buy a sandbox. A place that you normally wouldn't be oggled - you might think. But as I was walking from the car into the store - these two guys drove by slowly in a pick-up and the passenger yelled that (see above) out the window at me - total redneck (at least he didn't have a mullet) and me thinking thank god I left my actual children at home. My automatic reaction was to think, "Well of course you do. I'm intelligent and kind and I can be very entertaining when I drink...and then there is that thing I can do with the squirting milk out of my eye that clearly makes me a superior being" - But then how would he know that? Did he actually expect me to go "Okay - jump on big boy?" or that he was just really clever? I really wished I had something to throw at him. Like maybe roadkill.

It reminds me of kid in highschool that used to call and hang up on me all the time. He would call and hang up - repeatedly - and then on the tenth time or so he would ask me to go out with him and then hang up. This poor guy was a total throw back to the gene pool seriously. I won't get too mean - but if you've seen the Trailer Park Boys the guy with the glasses (Bubbles) would be his twin.

I am really really not kidding. The first time I saw the show I thought it was him.
Again - as previously established I am the weirdo magnet - so this should not surprise me... or any of you for that matter.

On a totally unrelated note - I started reading Dan Brown's Angels and Demons today. It is very good so far.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

ROTFL

badgerdaddy said...

Dan Brown must be stopped. I'm all for reading pap, but he doesn't even do pap well.

elizabeth said...

pap (wha?)
puzzles amid paper?
people annoying people?

Elizabeth McClung said...

Hmmm, I see some of the people who have been going after me have now latched onto you - oh the subtle mating rituals. Yesterday Dan "the Man" told me I was "looking good" but said that he wouldn't approach me ask my partner Linda put the wammy on him after he asked me for a threesome. Well, two minutes later and Dan is going "now you know I think you are both lovely ladies...." Sigh.

Anonymous said...

Dang. He's hawt.

elizabeth said...

What is it with men and threesomes? I dated a guy once who proposed I have a threesome with him and his ex-wife. (when I say I dated him once - it means once upon a time and once as in - only went out with him one time)